Anyone have info about living in Info about living in an insane asylum or psychiatric ward? (depression, eye)

[enamdar]

Anyone have info about living in Info about living in an insane asylum or psychiatric ward?

I don't really want to be treated, I just want to be commited to one, and live out my life there.

Seriously, does anyone have any real advice on how I can just drop out of society and the rat race? Its not healthy for me. And keeping a malcontent like me among society can't be good for society either. For my own good and society's I just need to be isolated from my "fellow" humans. they will only harm me, and I will only harm them. Thats what the Lutheran Kierkegaard thinks the Catholics got right and the Protestants are missing. The monasteries were a safety valve that allowed people antagonistic to this world, to escape it without disrupting the system. We really don't have that in our age, other than the "choice" to starve on the street, which is where I'm headed. There really is no safety valve or escape hatch. I don't know maybe there are some deserted islands out there in the Pacific, where I could literally be a Robinson Crusoe. Probably not realistic though. Well if those islands exists, I suppose its possible I could somehow get there with a few thousand dollars. I probably wouldn't last long in the wild. But nature is a less cruel enemy than man. Nature will kill me but not enslave me. Or being a hermit somehow, but that takes capital. I just need to get
away from it all. I reject all social relations. I never want to see another human again. The very sight and smell of them repulses me. I've really lost touch. I just don't get humans. I used to think I did. But the more I study them, the less I understand them. Or maybe I understand them empirically, I know what they actually do and on an intellectual scientific level I can understand their motivations partially. But I can't get inside their heads. Their endless cruelty just escapes me.
I mean I guess part of it is the Hegelian recognition, the master must enslave to be recognized. And Nieztche elaborated on it as the will to power. And you can try and make it scientific by just transmitting the Will to Gene. The human fascination and lust for cruelty just escapes me. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe that is what you need to survive, and I'm just a Darwinian miscarriage. Or maybe I have too much of Freud's superego. I've internalized too much of what society SAYS is good and become that. In that sense I am the society I hate so much- personified.
I'm the materialization of the spiritual imagination of society. I'm the Feurbachian God made flesh. I can understand the mind of God, which is the spirtitualization of society, more clearly than that of man. The regret at what man could have been and what he actually is before the flood. I suppose the God's eye view of the universe, is a curse and burden to us worm, dust, dirt.

I belong in solitary confinement. The prison population of course is the embodiment and hyperdistortion of man's will to power, although I would say the difference with the general population is only quantitative in nature. So obviously prison itself is no utopia. But solitary confinement in the "hole" would be my paradise. To be free from all human contact and all activity. To just sit in an empty cell 24 hours a day. And to have guards slide in the food. It has come to the point where my only conception of freedom is liberty from humanity. And so freedom becomes a prison cell. IDK, I guess at the rate I'm going I will probably end up in an insane asulym believing I'm Napoleon Bonaparte. As long as I make the leap of faith and truly believe I'm the Emperor, then nothing can imprison me. The insane asulym is in its own way a utopia, and it beats the streets. It is kind of like Plato's Republic. With the Golden Guardians. Maybe I will memorize Napoleon's memoirs and not let anyone convince me that I'm not Bonaparte. What could be a better life than living in Plato's Republic convinced you are the Emperor.

[tijlover]

Back during the Middle Ages, when people wanted to get away from the rat race, they'd merely go to a monastery, work for their board and room. They were sanctuaries/retreats from the madness of life. Today, we need them more than ever. Wouldn't it be heavenly, to just drop out of society for a few months, go to a peaceful monastery, once your batteries are recharged, return to society.

Today, prisons have taken their place.

During high school, I used to skip school to see a psychiatrist, and given my home situation, a psychiatric facility appealed to me more so than being at home. I begged my shrink to commit me, but he refused, as he said I wasn't eligible.

Today, I might be considered over-qualified.

[enamdar]

I think for my personality relative isolation would be far worse than total isolation. I'm a spiteful resentful person who can not bear having my social betters above me. I'm in a period of relative isolation now having dropped of school and not seeking a job. Just living off my money which should last .5 to 1 year. I was friendly and jovial with my housemates at first, but now I try to avoid seeing them. The thing about my depression and need for social isolation, is it stems more from existential metaphysics than anything personal. So I'm basically getting a taste of what living on a fixed income would be like now. And the USA has one of the worst welfare states in the world, we love the struggle to the death.

I'm thinking of committing myself, but not being cured. In a way it is utopian. Like Plato's Republic being watched over by authoritarian all-powerful guardians who are trying to fix you. There is complete equality among inmates, all your needs are met without work, and no private property. The trade of security for freedom. But that is the nature of utopia, nearly all since Plato's time have acknowledge the need for both the sacrifice of individuality and freedom, and a strong authoritarian bureaucracy. That is the type of power the asylum has over you, their power is institutionalized and bureaucratic like in a utopia. There is the loss of the human element. It is mechanical machine like. But it is precisely the human element of subordination, domination, and power that makes it so humiliating and unbearable. I would prefer to be a patient over an employee. A prison can be a utopia. Bentham's utopia is designed as the perfect prison system. And of course the mental institution itself is the petproject of a plethora of progressive enlightenment reformers overcoming the dark of superstition with the light of science. It is itself a utopian project.

[GloryB]

You want to grow old with Nurse Ratched????

[Fat Freddy]

enamdar,

So you majored in Philosophy and it drove you crazy so you dropped out of school?

Now you want free bed and board and psychotropic drugs at the taxpayers expense?

Get your crazy, lazy ass back in school.

One day maybe you can become a professor and nobody will even notice how wacked out you are.

[coyoteskye]

Go to the desert and get real.
You're being lazy (although as someone who understands depression well, i don't like that accusation but in your case ... i dunno)
And you're being extremely uncreative.
You go out into nature and fine out what it's like to be truly alone and to truly face yourself ... find out who your really are as opposed to who you think you are.
You'll most likely find that if you stay in that head of yours (in your thoughts that you give so much validity to) you won't survive.
You'll perhaps come to the edge and find what you're made of and find out what is essential ... as opposed to all this rationalizing and intellectualizing.
The veils are thinner there.
The sky is so vast and the earth so relatively sparse that you'll either go crazy or you'll wake up ... or neither but it's worth a try.
You can find a very inexpensive place to live, be very far from people and the few that you might run into won't care how conventional or non-conventional you are.
I recommend somewhere in New Mexico.
The desire to be committed to an institution is unwise.
Have you visited one?
Maybe you need to do that first and disabuse yourself of a very twisted romantic fantastic about institutionalization.
Bottom line ... get out of your head.
Good luck.

[steel7]

Visit a mental ward or watch a old movie called "One flew over the cooks nest" before you decide what to do. Not all people are bad. Sounds like you need companionship (guy or girl). Good-luck.

[SouthernBelleInUtah]

No one "lives" in a psychiatric ward. They are treated - group therapy, individual therapy, medication, and it's time limited. The food is not great although it is nutritious unless you are in a state hospital, then it sucks. Get over your juvenile fantasies.

[fuzzymystic]

You sure seem to crave attention for someone who wants to be left alone--well except for when people bring you food, of course. If your dad hasn't kicked you out yet, stock up on some food and lock yourself away, with NO computer and no communication at all with the outside world. See how you like it then. You can think your deep thoughts, write them down, and read them, and see how ridiculous you sound.

[coyoteskye]

I see, from reading another post, that you're exploring other ideas other than mental institutions.
So here:
There are many intentional communities.
There are many ways to live outside of the mainstream culture and to avoid the insanity of the dominant culture ... to a degree.
If you wanna live entirely off the grid ... good luck with that although people do it.
Here, have a looksy.
Intentional Communities - ecovillages, communes, cohousing, coops
Also, you'll find, generally speaking, that living west of the rockies will afford you more opportunities to live alternatively, imo and speaking from experience.