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I'm not sure how you manage to "forget" a box in a closet when you sell a house -- you're responsible for removing EVERYTHING you haven't agreed to leave for the buyer, and that means "broom swept" clean. Especially something as important as a loved one's cremains.
But whether that makes sense or not, it's no longer your problem!
It seems significant that you'll be handing them over on Memorial Day.
I'm not sure how you manage to "forget" a box in a closet when you sell a house -- you're responsible for removing EVERYTHING you haven't agreed to leave for the buyer, and that means "broom swept" clean. Especially something as important as a loved one's cremains.
Moving is stressful.
And I can't say that I've ever taken possession of a house that was 100% empty. Always, there's something. And at least once, I've left something behind on accident.
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Originally Posted by Teacher Terry
Who opens a box in a closet when they are viewing a house? That’s really bad form.
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Originally Posted by Threestep2
It's a normal thing for buyers to open boxes in closets?
If its a totally empty house it isn't exactly snooping. I can't say that I've ever taken posession of a completely empty place, except an apartment. A box in a closet I might expect to see a couple extra HVAC filters, a few cans of paint, a manual for the stove, whatever. And the "generic" cremain container/boxes are non-obvious enough that until you read the label, you wouldn't notice it.
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Originally Posted by TashaPosh
I thought the O.P. said it was on the floor opened. But it’s still the seller’s responsibility or the realtor’s to make sure an empty house really is empty before it’s shown.
It's their responsibility to make sure its empty before its sold, not shown. It can be shown however you want, semi-staged, empty, as you live in it, etc. A relative's house was sold empty except for the bed, a TV and a chair/table, since the heir responsible for everything had to travel back and forth. They removed the chair, table TV and bed before it closed.
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Originally Posted by TashaPosh
What if it was left in there by accident or it ended up taken or lost? AND it’s super weird the O.P. or her friend called the seller & asked about it. I wouldn’t have thought to look or open it tho I would have said something to the realtor showing the house. AND he denied knowing about it & told them to get rid of it. It’s super shady.
I totally want to ask my husband about the legal side of it.
It's only shady if they actually lived there, which the owner didn't. Otherwise its just rude (putting that problem on someone else.) But the polite thing is what the OP's friend did (contacting the family.)
In North Carolina they can be scattered on private land (yours, or other's with their permission,) "uninhabited" public land, at ash scattering gardens at cemeteries, or 3 miles off the coast.
Once a hippie broke into an empty house on Rhode Island,no electricity no water,no one knows where the owner went.
For Xmas,he bought a Xmas tree for the living room,no light as there is no electricity.
While he was speaking to a visitor,he saw a light travelled from top of the tree,across the room ,went up a few stairs and stopped and then disappeared.
He always wonder something is wrong with the house,as he goes to bed at night,there is always something which landed on the pillow like a thud.
So he got curious and start breaking down the wall behind the staircase and found a closet there.
Inside the closet there is skeleton of a woman.
It turns out this woman has cancer and her husband killed her and abandoned the home.
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JONOV
It's their responsibility to make sure its empty before its sold, not shown. It can be shown however you want, semi-staged, empty, as you live in it, etc.
O.P. said the house was already empty & for sale…that’s super common. Once you take over & start showing the house….they are responsible because they are representing the owner & nobody lives there. There is a lock box. What if the owner or the tenants had realized they left it behind? AND…ofc they want a crew to give it a good sweep, clean & vacuum before it’s shown. What realtor puts a home on the market & shows it without doing that? So to leave a box from a funeral home in a closet for buyers to find & call the owner about…is just super weird IMO. Why didn’t the realtor handle it? Why was a possible buyer calling the seller about it? Why was the seller telling her to get rid of it?
edit: When you go to an open house or showing…the seller’s realtor is there or your own realtor can handle it. Just like they are responsible for locking the home again.
Last edited by TashaPosh; 05-31-2022 at 08:14 PM..
O.P. said the house was already empty & for sale…that’s super common. Once you take over & start showing the house….they are responsible because they are representing the owner & nobody lives there. There is a lock box. What if the owner or the tenants had realized they left it behind? AND…ofc they want a crew to give it a good sweep, clean & vacuum before it’s shown. What realtor puts a home on the market & shows it without doing that? So to leave a box from a funeral home in a closet for buyers to find & call the owner about…is just super weird IMO. Why didn’t the realtor handle it? Why was a possible buyer calling the seller about it? Why was the seller telling her to get rid of it?
edit: When you go to an open house or showing…the seller’s realtor is there or your own realtor can handle it. Just like they are responsible for locking the home again.
There was no Realtor. It was an investment property. I will add, "Broom clean" can vary from house to house. Some people leave spotless houses, others do not.
You are right Tasha, there is no way that my friend or I were going to be involved with transporting human remains and dumping them in a lake.
We were fortunate to track down the decedent's daughter. My husband is a private investigator. The cremains were returned to her family.
O.P. said the house was already empty & for sale…that’s super common. Once you take over & start showing the house….they are responsible because they are representing the owner & nobody lives there. There is a lock box. What if the owner or the tenants had realized they left it behind? AND…ofc they want a crew to give it a good sweep, clean & vacuum before it’s shown. What realtor puts a home on the market & shows it without doing that? So to leave a box from a funeral home in a closet for buyers to find & call the owner about…is just super weird IMO. Why didn’t the realtor handle it? Why was a possible buyer calling the seller about it? Why was the seller telling her to get rid of it?
edit: When you go to an open house or showing…the seller’s realtor is there or your own realtor can handle it. Just like they are responsible for locking the home again.
None of that (aside from the seller telling them to get rid of it) is all that strange. If the realtor walked through the empty house, the box could be easily overlooked, and if they sent in a cleaning crew a cardboard box in a closet would be ignored.
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sheena12
You are right Tasha, there is no way that my friend or I were going to be involved with transporting human remains and dumping them in a lake.
We were fortunate to track down the decedent's daughter. My husband is a private investigator. The cremains were returned to her family.
HAPPY ENDING!
Well….it’s super awesome that it had a happy ending because of you. So did your friend decide to write an offer on the house or did you guys just take care of the ashes? Were they accidentally left behind by tenants after all? What was their reaction when they heard what the seller said or how you found them?
edit: If something that crazy had happened to me, I would have found a way to get it out there tho I guess you kind of did by posting about it. I would never EVER take responsibility to dispose of ashes from somebody else’s home like that. They are the seller’s responsibility…it’s his home. He should be turning them over to a police station or having his realtor do it since he lived out of town AND not telling you to dump them in a lake. I would have just told the realtor.
Last edited by TashaPosh; 06-01-2022 at 11:14 AM..
We're not anywhere close to selling our house, but we do have an ash trap under our fireplaces. Box, plastic bag, homemade label from the out-of-business funeral parlor in town, and we can leave an entertaining mystery for the next owner.
I have my mother's ashes here at home with me (her religion doesn't hold with scattering), my father's were disposed of in a body of water per his wishes, and one day I'll be cremated, as I've prearranged and paid for it. What will become of my and my mother's ashes, however, I have no idea! Hopefully my sibling would keep them, but he isn't, nor am I, inclined to pay for a niche or crypt or have a cemetery grave opened and closed, which is wildly expensive, to receive them.
Maybe we'll end up in a closet in an empty house, too?
I remember from watching the hoarding shows that it wasn't unheard of to find a box from a funeral home in the pile somewhere.
If your friend wants to buy the house, include in the purchase offer that the cremated remains are to be removed before final inspection & close of escrow. Put the rest out of your mind. People do strange stuff in houses, & if it bothers your friend, they probably should move on.
A lot of houses in my neighborhood in San Diego County in CA went into foreclosure during The Crash. I went poking around one of them after it was empty. I found a dog's head in a cardboard box in the back yard. I wish I could unsee that.
The house needed lots of rehab & I'm pretty sure the new owner didn't know or care about what I saw, because it sold quickly.
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