Ode to texas (home, scorpions, suite)

[Redrover]

In light of our current weather conditions, and being one to always laugh at adversity, I feel compelled to send this along. Hope it gives my fellow Texans a chuckle.



The devil wanted a place on earth

Sort of a summer home

A place to spend his vacation

Whenever he wanted to roam.

So he picked out Texas

A place both wretched and rough

Where the climate was to his liking

And the cowboys hardened and tough.

He dried up the streams in the canyons

And ordered no rain to fall

He dried up the lakes in the valleys

Then baked and scorched it all.

Then over his barren country

He transplanted shrubs from hell.

The cactus, thistle and prickly pear

The climate suited them well.

Now the home was much to his liking

But animal life, he had none.

So he created crawling creatures

That all mankind would shun.

First he made the rattlesnake

With its forked poisonous tongue.

Taught it to strike and rattle

And how to swallow it's young.



Then he made scorpions and lizards

And the ugly old horned toad.

He placed spiders of every description

Under rocks by the side of the road.

Then he ordered the sun to shine hotter,

Hotter and hotter still.

Until even the cactus wilted

And the old horned lizard took ill.



Then he gazed on his earthly kingdom

As any creator would

He chuckled a little up his sleeve

And admitted that it was good.

'Twas summer now and Satan lay

By a prickly pear to rest.

The sweat rolled off his swarthy brow

So he took off his coat and vest.



"By Golly," he finally panted,

"I did my job too well,

I'm going back to where I came from,

Texas is hotter than Hell."

[Sunderpig2]

Hmmm. There should be no mystery that it gets hot in Texas during the summer. And we're at the hottest time of the year too (early August). Seems like people these days are just waking up and realizing that. Duhhhh, go figure. Makes you wonder about the mental clarity of many around us...

[desertsun41]

Just remember this everyone. If you are driving along when it's over 100 outside and you see a car with all it's windows open. DO NOT BEEP AT THAT GUY OR DO NOT CUT HIM OFF !!!!!!! He is fighting mad having no AC and likely will retaliate!!!

[testmo]

there have been posts on their forum of people from out of state asking about weather. people would reply something along the lines of us getting a "couple" of 100+ days. that always made me chuckle. Minnesota gets a "couple" of 100+ days