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You don't tell someone use me as a reference and than basically do a hatchet job on them.
OP, you better find another reference.
In the early 1990s I was fired from a job due to absenteeism. When my boss fired me he said, "You do great work when you are here. The problem is you are never here."
I had a good relationship with him and he offered to provide references but warned me that if they ask about attendance he would have to tell them the truth.
I used him a few times as a reference in later years and always got the job. So either they never asked him, or he was able to answer in such a way that it didn't hurt my chances.
I agree with other posters who are saying the manager probably had the best of intentions but isn't the best at speaking about it.
And to the OP - your boss revealing your car accident and subsequent doctor appointments/therapy in relation to your job is not a HIPAA violation. Your doctor telling your boss about your detailed medical history without your consent is a HIPAA violation. But that's not what happened.
Is there any way to get written proof that your previous employer gave you a negative reference? I would go over his/her head....to HR and send a cease and desist letter and attach a copy of the email. Most employers don't give out specific information, just dates of employment due to the possibility of legal issues for retaliation. I think that your old boss should be fired for this and should NOT have been discussing your medical issues, but until you document what happened or speak with an attorney, this person will continue to hinder your chances for new employment. Do not contact the old boss....take it up the chain! Good luck, and I think what happened to you is just terrible!
This was a reference the OP provided I think. going to the HR department would not be appropriate at all.
This was a reference the OP provided I think. going to the HR department would not be appropriate at all.
You didn't understand my comment. I am saying that going to the person that promised a good reference but didn't is a bad idea. Going over their head? That's my suggestion. Human resources at large corporations handle reference inquiries for the reasons that I mentioned. No one wants a lawsuit for slander or retaliation.
You didn't understand my comment. I am saying that going to the person that promised a good reference but didn't is a bad idea. Going over their head? That's my suggestion. Human resources at large corporations handle reference inquiries for the reasons that I mentioned. No one wants a lawsuit for slander or retaliation.
Sorry but HR shouldnt be getting involved in their personal life. Are you saying HR should get involved in that? If true, I would never ever allow anyone to give a reference, nor could I accept one form anyone.
Good grief, that person did try and help you. First off, they will not lie for you. You did miss a lot of time, but there was a perfectly good reason why you did, and that person explained that, so the temp agency wouldnt think you're a crack head or something.
I was let go from my job at the end of July. I won't get into all the gory details . . . however my manager (above my supervisor who fired me, but below HR) left me a note and also sent me an email stating to use him as a reference and he would help me in any way he could.
Well, today I went to a staffing agency to find temp or temp-to-hire work. I listed my ex-manager as a reference and she called him. THEN she called me to report that - he had told her that I was absent a lot due to medical appointments caused by a horrific car accident in November. Of course, she asked me a million questions - was I done doctoring? how serious was the accident? and on and on.
I was just shell shocked and frankly, upset that he would reveal such a personal thing. Shouldn't this fall under privacy/HIPAA confidential info? I think he may well have cost me the temp job(s) because she completely changed her tune from earlier, even though I did indicate that yes, I was done doctoring and yes, it was a serious car accident (fatal accident).
Obviously, I know not to use him anymore but just today - he has emailed me a couple of job openings and told me that he thought my going to a temp agency was a great thing. Seriously, part of me wants to blast back at him, but I know better.
I never imagined he would say anything about my medical absences or the car accident. It's past history and quite irrelevant at this point.
But it is why you lost the job. In a diplomatic way, ask him if he could focus on your performance before the accident.
Good grief, that person did try and help you. First off, they will not lie for you. You did miss a lot of time, but there was a perfectly good reason why you did, and that person explained that, so the temp agency wouldnt think you're a crack head or something.
Geez.
None of us were on the phone call, so we don't know for sure how helpful he was or wasn't.
The OP said after the woman from the temp agency talked to him "I think he may well have cost me the temp job(s) because she completely changed her tune from earlier, even though I did indicate that yes, I was done doctoring and yes, it was a serious car accident (fatal accident)".
That's not someone doing you a favor.
As the old saying goes "it's not what you say but how you say it". Did he say "well they were constantly taking time off for doctor appts due to a car accident, were out more than they were in".
Or did they say "despite being in a very bad car accident they managed to still start the job using a walker(as the OP indicated), were a good worker, but due to their injuries had to take excessive time off and from a business standpoint it wasn't working, we had to let them go, but it was not due to work performance, and they have recovered completely".
Judging by the reaction of the temp agency woman, I would bet it was closer to the first one.
OP needs to find out if this former boss is going to do this again.
Thank you all for the very good suggestions. My intent is to not use him as a reference from here on out however he has continued to send me job leads via email (which I appreciate). I agree, it was probably all in the way he worded it to the temp agency - whatever he said led her believe that perhaps I was not reliable when in fact, I'd spent the last 4 months or so showing up early for work every day, never leaving early and I had a total of 1 (prior approved and doctor note proven) medical appointment in that time span.
And thankfully, I am done treating for the car accident from November. Finally.
I have had a couple more interviews for regular, permanent full time positions - so I'd appreciate any suggestions for what I say when asked, why did I leave the job? I've been saying "it was a temporary assignment" because truly, I never did reach the end of my probationary period (which was 9 months for this employer). I feel like mentioning the accident and medical absences, etc. would only put up huge red flags.
Again, thank you all for the valuable advice and suggestions.
OP I thought you said in your other thread that you got offered to start back working at the job you left to come to the job you just got fired from. What happened with that?
I don't think your reference meant any harm. Just ask him not to talk about your medical issues as it seems to be leaving a negative affect with certain people.
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