Would you ever leave LA to live in the Midwest? (Los Angeles: sales, buying a house)

[bellabella80]

My BF wants me to move to...ugh...OHIO to be together and get married and I'm wigging out. I've been there and it's SO different from LA. I don't mean to be a snob, but the neighborhoods and people are VERY different than what I'm used to. Plus there is the weather! But housing is lower cost and there isn't traffic or that fake "hollywood" scene all the time...I am not in my 20's anymore running to Hollywood all the time so maybe I would like to do the whole family oriented,..slow paced thing....Hmmmmm...am I an LA girl in denial? Do you all think I'll hate it? What would YOU do for love?

[luckodeirish]

There are a lot of factors. Do you plan to get a job there? What do you like to do for fun? I have lived in California my whole life but have visited my in laws in the midwest and honestly, I would do it, the cost of living is lower, the lifestyle is different..
I think you should consider it.

[Charles]

Originally Posted by bellabella80

My BF wants me to move to...ugh...OHIO to be together and get married and I'm wigging out. I've been there and it's SO different from LA. I don't mean to be a snob, but the neighborhoods and people are VERY different than what I'm used to. Plus there is the weather! But housing is lower cost and there isn't traffic or that fake "hollywood" scene all the time...I am not in my 20's anymore running to Hollywood all the time so maybe I would like to do the whole family oriented,..slow paced thing....Hmmmmm...am I an LA girl in denial? Do you all think I'll hate it? What would YOU do for love?

Where are your parents/folks?
Where are his parents/folks?

What line of work are he and you in?

Are you planning on buying a house withing five years? What would your housing budget be?

It is easy to be seduced by bigger houses on bigger lots for $100/sqft or less but realize in Ohio or many other US places, the weather is so bad for so long in winter that your future kids will be stuck inside for much of the time. If you are an indoor person then maybe this isn't a big deal.

In CA while the houses and yards aren't as big, there are many parks and community amenities to enjoy all year round.

If you can't find a job in CA and
if you can't afford decent housing in a decent school district and
if you don't have family in CA that you would miss and
if you aren't an outdoor person

then go for it.

[BRinSM]

i might consider moving to chicago to be in another big city, but it would take an enormous opportunity to get me to even consider ohio.

[MtnSurfer]

Well,

That's a tough call. Yeah, you will experience culture shock big time in a number of ways. The whole way of life is different for better or worse. One side of my family moved out West from MI many years ago, swore they would never return and didn't. After growing up with snowy winters and the whole midwestern way they really enjoyed moving to CA.

Of course you will find others who moved back to the midwest and are happy there now. Just be prepared for learning to live with colder weather, no beach, no mountains, less multicultrual things like variety of foods, less of an international feel, more big box generic living, etc... But of course as you have mentioned you will have less ppl overall, less traffic, more affordability and other pluses.

I moved with my wife and three young children to CO for all the typical reasons ppl leave LA - crowds, traffic, smog, crime, pollution, cost of living, illegals, etc... But after several years we came to realize that although beautiful, CO wasn't for us longer term. Being land locked in the middle of the US surrounded by farm land, prairies, etc... for hundreds of miles starts to feel too claustrophobic. Sometimes I just wanted to get in the car and drive to the coast, but couldn't. Though the Rocky Mtns were beautiful.

You will find a lot of ppl from the MidWest would think CA is going to Fall into the ocean with the next big quake and have a pretty stereotypical view of the state. Although depending on your town you may find other Californians doing the same as you - giving it a go. Some will be wind up being miserable, some will accept the trade offs and learn to live differently, while others will look forward to moving back at some point even if not admitting it publicly.

This song will also most likely come to mind during the snowy Winters:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dN3GbF9Bx6E

In terms of our preferences we are in many ways products of our environment. So certain things just seem right or normal to us which are part of growing up in CA and LA vs. other states. That's not to say one way is right and the other is wrong. It's just human nature to think fondly of things we knew while growing up. You may find yourself dreaming about such things literally. For me it was the smell of the salt air, hearing seagulls, the foghorn at night, the wet sand under my feet, watching the waves break along the shore, sunsets over the ocean, walks along the beach with my wife, etc... Then there is the multicultural feel of a true international city, the openess to new ideas, ppl, unique stores, restaurants, etc...

In short it's a trade as no place is perfect. Los Angelenos will be the first to admit that. You will be trading one set of pros/cons for a completely different set. Maybe you can learn to live with the new cons so that you can enjoy the pros. Only you can answer that one, and possibly not until living there for a few years. So you may consider going just to give it a chance and the experience a different lifestyle. If you do I would at least consider being clear about the possibity of coming back at some point if you find it just doesn't work out in the long run (5, 10, 20 years). A lot of times newlyweds tend to look through life with rose colored glasses and imagine sailing off into the sunset to a sort of shangri la. But reality eventually sets in. So it's good to try and look as these large decisions soberly and discuss one's desires, preferences, etc... up front before walking down the aisle. Sometimes compromise is necesary. But if one ends up being miserable the other needs to consider their feelings, desires, etc... as it will effect both. One of our children have a t-shirt that says if mama's not happy, nobody is happy!

Derek

[Curmudgeon]

I'm a native southern Californian and my wife is a native northern Californian. My two oldest children, my sons, both were born in Orange County and both are now living in Ohio with their wives and children and enjoying the mid-west. They find it slower-paced, friendlier and far more family-minded than they found CA. They're also enjoying four distinct seasons all in one place.

Last year, after I retired, my wife and I moved from Sacramento to SW Missouri and bought a home on the shore of a large lake in the Ozarks. This part of MO is mid-western but also very southern, being only a few miles from the Arkansas border. MO was almost evenly split during the Civil War with this area totally loyal to the south. We, too, enjoy the four seasons as well as the topographical beauty that is the Ozarks. We also enjoy the slower pace, the friendliness of the people, the abundant wildlife and the lower prices of just about everything. Lack of crowds, traffic, city noise, crime; those are also appreciated and soothing.

So clearly our answer to the original question is a resounding, "Yes!"

[bellabella80]

Thanks all, I thought most of the responses would call me crazy. I'm doing obsessive research of Ohio trying to find SOMETHING like home so I won't feel so out of place. I CAN transfer my work to be out there and he can't (to LA) so that's why I am the one who is considering moving. I did enjoy my last Christmas out there, but I did spend most time indoors. I'm not sure how I'm going to be able to handle the in-and-out of my car that outside sales is, in the middle of a snow storm! I don't even know how to drive in snow...lol...I don't plan on getting married right away, my first focus is to adjust to my career out there and living w/him in the midwest, THEN we can discuss the future...But it's nice to hear that the world doesn't surround Los Angeles because that's what most of the people I know think. The idea of Ohio living is like another planet...But as I get older, I am less impressed with what LA has to offer. I want something with a little more depth. And I did enjoy the easy way people live there though, without these obsessions of money and physical appearance all the time...I like camping and going to the lake and how family is so important. It's a different atmosphere. Grrr....but can I do without my LA "musts" like the sun, plenty of shopping/restaurants/solons and a very diverse culture?

[bhcompy]

A lot of Californians have been compromising. Places like Utah, Colorado, and Texas are kind of West meets Midwest, and destinations for people relocating.

[whoisjongalt]

Go for it! Unless you are obsessed with the beach or being a Hollywood poseur, you won't miss a thing. I know I don't. Moving, in my case to Colorado, was the best thing I ever did. While the weather in Ohio can definitely suck sometimes, changing seasons can be beautiful too. There are always trade-offs.

[nickdahammer]

Well I'm not obsessed with the beach (hardly a 'poseur' - jeez, that's more snobby than 'poser' for crying out loud), but I'm with BRinSM- love Chicago but moving would be tough. I've been a few places that I liked, but nothing like home.