Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Thanks all, I thought most of the responses would call me crazy. I'm doing obsessive research of Ohio trying to find SOMETHING like home so I won't feel so out of place. I CAN transfer my work to be out there and he can't (to LA) so that's why I am the one who is considering moving. I did enjoy my last Christmas out there, but I did spend most time indoors. I'm not sure how I'm going to be able to handle the in-and-out of my car that outside sales is, in the middle of a snow storm! I don't even know how to drive in snow...lol...
Yeah, I remember my first business trip to Chicago for two weeks while working for State Farm. It must have snowed every day or at least it felt that way. And the wind was so strong it was snowing sideways. I remember professional women dressing very conservatively in heels and dresses, walking from their cars and places of business, etc... over the ice and snow with bare legs showing and those shoes! My roomate at the time was from Canada and nicknamed me California thermals. LOL... But I definately layered under a London Fog Great Coat for business. It eventually went to the goodwill as I never used it after that trip. While living in CO and experiencing blizzards, snow and generally icey conditions in the Winter it seemed like no one really got used it as much as tolerated/survived it. But spin outs on hills or in traffic definately occured. The wheels do get loose on snow and ice. You must shovel the driveway in the mornings before work, scrape the windows regularly, warm the car up longer, use different tires in the Winter, see your breath while driving, wear gloves, etc... Some days you just want to make it from point A to point B without incident. So doing a lot of outdoor driving for work does possess a greater challenge.
Quote:
I don't plan on getting married right away, my first focus is to adjust to my career out there and living w/him in the midwest, THEN we can discuss the future...But it's nice to hear that the world doesn't surround Los Angeles because that's what most of the people I know think. The idea of Ohio living is like another planet...But as I get older, I am less impressed with what LA has to offer. I want something with a little more depth. And I did enjoy the easy way people live there though, without these obsessions of money and physical appearance all the time...I like camping and going to the lake and how family is so important. It's a different atmosphere. Grrr....but can I do without my LA "musts" like the sun, plenty of shopping/restaurants/solons and a very diverse culture?
I think you at least sound open minded to the idea. I guess it really depends if you think you can make a life for yourself and your BF/potential future husband there. Maybe it is at least worth giving a try. I think it will help clarify what you want and what is important for you in the long run. Of course you will miss certain things unique to LA and CA. That's a given. But you may grow to like things there more.
Derek
Last edited by MtnSurfer; 10-23-2010 at 10:54 PM..
Where in Ohio? I don't know Ohio well, but assume that there, like all states, there's a huge difference between different locations.
I won't put too much stock into whether or not Ohio has more "depth" or if its residents are any different. I'm a native Midwesterner, and never found the "LA is so fake" stereotypes to be true, or that it is any less family-friendly in LA than where I grew up. It IS, however, much cheaper in the Midwest (I think even Chicago is cheaper than LA), so it is easier for many people to afford to have families, or at least leads to less stress about how to afford a decent home in a safe neighborhood with good schools. In many cases that probably does translate into people getting married and having kids earlier, since they can afford to do those things at an earlier age. In any case, people are pretty much the same anywhere, but the specific people you spend time with in any given location can vary, and if you move to Ohio thinking that you're moving into a different stage of life you'll probably meet different types of people than you might be hanging out with now. You'd find them if you stay in LA, too, though. (none of my friends or coworkers were obsessed about money or appearance, for example, although we were probably more worried about money than were my Midwestern family and friends, for the simple reason that it costs so much more just to cover the basics in LA!)
As far as all the rest of it, just enjoy living in a new place; you don't have to stay there forever, and even if you end up hating it at least you'll have gained new experiences. I'm sure Ohio has plenty of good restaurants, and there's diversity there, too, just not the same as it is in LA. Still, assuming you're moving to a city and not a small town, I think it won't be so drastically different that you can't adjust. (not to say it's not different; LA is obviously a huge city, and vastly bigger than anywhere in Ohio). If you're moving to a smaller town or a suburban area then I would assume the culture shock will be far greater.
As far as driving in winter: I have friends who didn't move to cold climates until they were adults, and they have all adjusted just fine. You'll figure it out. Dealing with snow IS a hassle, though. But having four seasons can also be really nice, and was something I really missed during our five years in California.
As others have noted, there are pros and cons to every place, and those positives and negatives may also change with time. Just don't get sucked into stereotypes about the Midwest, as you may find yourself surprised (same thing goes for people moving to LA, for that matter!). I'd at least give it a try, but if all you want is non-materialistic friends, time at the lake and with family... well, you can just as easily find that in LA, although it's going to come with a much higher price tag attached. That price tag comes with a lot of other amenities -- far more ethnic restaurants, all the amenities of a major international city, and all that -- so, especially given the economy, it could well be worth it to just find a nice, interesting neighborhood somewhere in Ohio that you like, and vacation in LA (and elsewhere). My Midwestern family and friends have overall done a lot more traveling (those in their 20s and 30s, that is) than my California family and friends, with most of the difference due only to the fact that while travel deals on airfare were better from LA, those of us living in California had far less disposable income at our disposal.
For what it's worth, I would happily move back to LA if the job opportunity were there. I LOVE LA. But I also appreciate the Midwest, and have never regretted a single move that we've made in our life. Every place has its pros and cons, and experiencing new places will help to clarify what you like most. For us at this time a stable job with a decent salary is at the top of our priority list, although a few years ago (before we had a kid) we might have taken more risks to stay in LA. That said, I wouldn't settle for a neighborhood that you hate; there's no reason you have to move from, say, Hollywood (our old neighborhood) out to some bland suburb peppered with Walmarts and chain restaurants. Unless you want to, of course, in which case at least it will be far cheaper to do so.
Where in Ohio? I don't know Ohio well, but assume that there, like all states, there's a huge difference between different locations.
I won't put too much stock into whether or not Ohio has more "depth" or if its residents are any different. I'm a native Midwesterner, and never found the "LA is so fake" stereotypes to be true, or that it is any less family-friendly in LA than where I grew up. It IS, however, much cheaper in the Midwest (I think even Chicago is cheaper than LA), so it is easier for many people to afford to have families, or at least leads to less stress about how to afford a decent home in a safe neighborhood with good schools. In many cases that probably does translate into people getting married and having kids earlier, since they can afford to do those things at an earlier age. In any case, people are pretty much the same anywhere, but the specific people you spend time with in any given location can vary, and if you move to Ohio thinking that you're moving into a different stage of life you'll probably meet different types of people than you might be hanging out with now. You'd find them if you stay in LA, too, though. (none of my friends or coworkers were obsessed about money or appearance, for example, although we were probably more worried about money than were my Midwestern family and friends, for the simple reason that it costs so much more just to cover the basics in LA!)
As far as all the rest of it, just enjoy living in a new place; you don't have to stay there forever, and even if you end up hating it at least you'll have gained new experiences. I'm sure Ohio has plenty of good restaurants, and there's diversity there, too, just not the same as it is in LA. Still, assuming you're moving to a city and not a small town, I think it won't be so drastically different that you can't adjust. (not to say it's not different; LA is obviously a huge city, and vastly bigger than anywhere in Ohio). If you're moving to a smaller town or a suburban area then I would assume the culture shock will be far greater.
As far as driving in winter: I have friends who didn't move to cold climates until they were adults, and they have all adjusted just fine. You'll figure it out. Dealing with snow IS a hassle, though. But having four seasons can also be really nice, and was something I really missed during our five years in California.
As others have noted, there are pros and cons to every place, and those positives and negatives may also change with time. Just don't get sucked into stereotypes about the Midwest, as you may find yourself surprised (same thing goes for people moving to LA, for that matter!). I'd at least give it a try, but if all you want is non-materialistic friends, time at the lake and with family... well, you can just as easily find that in LA, although it's going to come with a much higher price tag attached. That price tag comes with a lot of other amenities -- far more ethnic restaurants, all the amenities of a major international city, and all that -- so, especially given the economy, it could well be worth it to just find a nice, interesting neighborhood somewhere in Ohio that you like, and vacation in LA (and elsewhere). My Midwestern family and friends have overall done a lot more traveling (those in their 20s and 30s, that is) than my California family and friends, with most of the difference due only to the fact that while travel deals on airfare were better from LA, those of us living in California had far less disposable income at our disposal.
For what it's worth, I would happily move back to LA if the job opportunity were there. I LOVE LA. But I also appreciate the Midwest, and have never regretted a single move that we've made in our life. Every place has its pros and cons, and experiencing new places will help to clarify what you like most. For us at this time a stable job with a decent salary is at the top of our priority list, although a few years ago (before we had a kid) we might have taken more risks to stay in LA. That said, I wouldn't settle for a neighborhood that you hate; there's no reason you have to move from, say, Hollywood (our old neighborhood) out to some bland suburb peppered with Walmarts and chain restaurants. Unless you want to, of course, in which case at least it will be far cheaper to do so.
Excellent, well balanced post!!! I think you describe both sides from a more realistic perspective. Obviously this is not a one size fits all kind of decision.
But your last line I found especially funny as I could totally picture that scene in my mind - the bland suburb peppered with walmarts and chain restaurants. The chain restaurants, BBQ steakhouses and lack of fresh produce were always a challenge for us while living in CO. Good Mexican or Thai food, what's that? But we did have a great Super Walmart and Golden Corral Buffet just blocks away.
That's a tough call. Yeah, you will experience culture shock big time in a number of ways. The whole way of life is different for better or worse. One side of my family moved out West from MI many years ago, swore they would never return and didn't. After growing up with snowy winters and the whole midwestern way they really enjoyed moving to CA.
Of course you will find others who moved back to the midwest and are happy there now. Just be prepared for learning to live with colder weather, no beach, no mountains, less multicultrual things like variety of foods, less of an international feel, more big box generic living, etc... But of course as you have mentioned you will have less ppl overall, less traffic, more affordability and other pluses.
I moved with my wife and three young children to CO for all the typical reasons ppl leave LA - crowds, traffic, smog, crime, pollution, cost of living, illegals, etc... But after several years we came to realize that although beautiful, CO wasn't for us longer term. Being land locked in the middle of the US surrounded by farm land, prairies, etc... for hundreds of miles starts to feel too claustrophobic. Sometimes I just wanted to get in the car and drive to the coast, but couldn't. Though the Rocky Mtns were beautiful.
You will find a lot of ppl from the MidWest would think CA is going to Fall into the ocean with the next big quake and have a pretty stereotypical view of the state. Although depending on your town you may find other Californians doing the same as you - giving it a go. Some will be wind up being miserable, some will accept the trade offs and learn to live differently, while others will look forward to moving back at some point even if not admitting it publicly.
This song will also most likely come to mind during the snowy Winters:
In terms of our preferences we are in many ways products of our environment. So certain things just seem right or normal to us which are part of growing up in CA and LA vs. other states. That's not to say one way is right and the other is wrong. It's just human nature to think fondly of things we knew while growing up. You may find yourself dreaming about such things literally. For me it was the smell of the salt air, hearing seagulls, the foghorn at night, the wet sand under my feet, watching the waves break along the shore, sunsets over the ocean, walks along the beach with my wife, etc... Then there is the multicultural feel of a true international city, the openess to new ideas, ppl, unique stores, restaurants, etc...
In short it's a trade as no place is perfect. Los Angelenos will be the first to admit that. You will be trading one set of pros/cons for a completely different set. Maybe you can learn to live with the new cons so that you can enjoy the pros. Only you can answer that one, and possibly not until living there for a few years. So you may consider going just to give it a chance and the experience a different lifestyle. If you do I would at least consider being clear about the possibity of coming back at some point if you find it just doesn't work out in the long run (5, 10, 20 years). A lot of times newlyweds tend to look through life with rose colored glasses and imagine sailing off into the sunset to a sort of shangri la. But reality eventually sets in. So it's good to try and look as these large decisions soberly and discuss one's desires, preferences, etc... up front before walking down the aisle. Sometimes compromise is necesary. But if one ends up being miserable the other needs to consider their feelings, desires, etc... as it will effect both. One of our children have a t-shirt that says if mama's not happy, nobody is happy!
Derek
man depends on where u are staying at in Ohio i know this much Columbus is just as much or maybe even more muticultural than LA thats a fact. LA large number of multi culturalism is Asians and Hispanics we have all that plus africans, Jamaicans, and ant other ethnic groups.
I moved with my wife and three young children to CO for all the typical reasons ppl leave LA - crowds, traffic, smog, crime, pollution, cost of living, illegals, etc... But after several years we came to realize that although beautiful, CO wasn't for us longer term. Being land locked in the middle of the US surrounded by farm land, prairies, etc... for hundreds of miles starts to feel too claustrophobic. Sometimes I just wanted to get in the car and drive to the coast, but couldn't. Though the Rocky Mtns were beautiful.
You nailed the feeling exactly, it really does make you feel claustrophobic in the interior states. It depends on who you are, none of my friends feel this way here. Although, a lot of them haven't been outside of the Midwest.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MtnSurfer
You will find a lot of ppl from the MidWest would think CA is going to Fall into the ocean with the next big quake and have a pretty stereotypical view of the state. Although depending on your town you may find other Californians doing the same as you - giving it a go. Some will be wind up being miserable, some will accept the trade offs and learn to live differently, while others will look forward to moving back at some point even if not admitting it publicly.
Yeah, a lot of people from the Midwest absolutely hate CA in an almost irrational way. I would say alt least 80% of people here think I'm crazy for wanting to move back. I know a few people that came from CA to MN and want to go back. On the same vein I also know people from MN that moved to CA and ended up coming back to MN. It's hard to describe why a place is home but once it is it just is haha.
I would say it can't hurt to try Ohio, you may like it. If he is open to other places in the Midwest you may want to look into Chicago, It's not a bad city. However, you also might get stuck like me and that is a truly awful feeling.
I don't know what to say really, good luck with whatever you decide .
Yes, I said, "fences." One thing I always loved about areas of the south and the Midwest are the lack of privacy fences and the fact that houses aren't all crammed together. This may take some getting used to but it leaves wide-open, green areas between houses and a true sense of openness and neighborhood. To me its emblematic of community. It may seem a small thing but was something we insisted upon when house hunting last year.
I don't know where in Ohio you'll be landing, Bellabella80, but one of my sons is in Dublin, outside of Columbus, and the other lives in a suburb of Columbus close to Dublin. Dublin is lovely, up-scale, virtually crime-free and yet the cost of living index is a mere 87.5 as compared to L.A.'s 166.6. But on-balance, you could end up in or around Cincinnati (one of my grandfather's worked most of his career/life there) which is quite different demographically and has a crime rate double L.A.'s.
Whatever and wherever, look upon this as, if nothing else, an adventure and learning experience. I've lived in nine states and three other countries and always eagerly made moves because of the opportunity they gave me to explore. Of the states, there was only one I disliked so that was an 87.5 "success" rate which isn't too bad.
I moved back to Boston (where I'm from originally) from SoCal because I was pregnant and wanted to be closer to my family. It was a big mistake. People are a lot more conservative here and the ONE winter I spent here just about killed my husband & myself.
We're moving back to LA next week.
It's really about your comfort level. It's going to be a really REALLY big change for you. Maybe you'll love it. It's one of those things that you probably won't know until you try it. Will you be able to move back to LA if you absolutely hate Ohio?
Knowing what I know now (and how I deal with winters), I wouldn't move from LA to the midwest (where my husband is from, fyi. Chicago) for anyone or anything. (and my husband's mom offered to give us a house if we moved there. Seriously. We said no.) But everyone is different. You can't really know how you're going to react to a situation until you're in it.
As someone who loves the sunshine, beaches, diversity, cultural opportunities, shopping, etc... my first thought was "She's going to HATE Ohio and wish she never moved."
But then, if you give up on the relationship and don't make the move... you might always wonder. If you do move, give it a year. It'll take at least that long for you to really know if you made the right decision.
When first I moved to LA, someone told me it would take 6 months to stop feeling massively homesick and 1 year to start feeling like LA was "home." They were totally right. I've been back in Boston for a year now, and I've been massively homesick for LA the entire time, so I know moving back is the right thing for me.
...
As someone who loves the sunshine, beaches, diversity, cultural opportunities, shopping, etc... my first thought was "She's going to HATE Ohio and wish she never moved."
But then, if you give up on the relationship and don't make the move... you might always wonder. If you do move, give it a year. It'll take at least that long for you to really know if you made the right decision.
When first I moved to LA, someone told me it would take 6 months to stop feeling massively homesick and 1 year to start feeling like LA was "home." They were totally right. I've been back in Boston for a year now, and I've been massively homesick for LA the entire time, so I know moving back is the right thing for me.
Good luck!
Yes, no matter how much you research a place or visit (and I'm an admitted reasearch nut), it really won't compare with living there. I have heard it said it generally takes a couple of years after a move to know if a new place is really a good fit for you. And it worked that way for us. So I would commit to staying at least a couple of years if possible. You need to go through the full cycle of Fall, Winter, Spring, Summer there. We were in CO almost 3 years. But I began to know earlier in the process that while this was a fun experience, it wasn't for us longer term. And those few years seemed to really drag on especially during the extended Winters with snow at times into May, almost like dog years. In direct contrast after moving back to CA 2+ years has flown by for us here along the Central Coast. So it comes at no surprise to us that this is a much better fit for our family. Sometimes this inner knowledge/awareness is on the subconscious level, before you even have words to describe it. After 1-2 years you should have a better handle on whether it will work for you in the long run. While affordable housing and fewer ppl are nice things (pros) it may not be enough. It will be a discovery process for sure.
Derek
Last edited by MtnSurfer; 10-24-2010 at 10:42 AM..
Reason: typo
This is why people rag on LA, they way they diss on the midwest and east coast all the time
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
My roomate at the time was from Canada and nicknamed me California thermals.
LOL... But I definately layered under a London Fog Great Coat for business. It eventually went to the goodwill as I never used it after that trip. While living in CO and experiencing blizzards, snow and generally icey conditions in the Winter it seemed like no one really got used it as much as tolerated/survived it. But spin outs on hills or in traffic definately occured. The wheels do get loose on snow and ice. You must shovel the driveway in the mornings before work, scrape the windows regularly, warm the car up longer, use different tires in the Winter, see your breath while driving, wear gloves, etc... Some days you just want to make it from point A to point B without incident. So doing a lot of outdoor driving for work does possess a greater challenge.
.
Fences
