I am torn between my love of New England and my family back home. (rent, house)

[surgtechchrissy]

My husband and I were both born and raised in Florida. We both hated it, hated the heat, the crime, the lack of seasons etc. We left our family and moved to Maine. We absolutely love it. We love having new problems that come with living in the north. We love the atmosphere and the close proximity to the other New England states. We have been here almost 2 years and we feel at home here. Florida seems like a place we used to live, not home. The problem is the family we left behind. My mother was my best friend and I am the only family she had. She has lots of friends and works a lot so she is busy but I know we miss each other like crazy. My husband misses his elderly mother although she has lots of family around. I am torn between my surroundings and my family I guess. If I move back to Florida, I will hate it there and wish I was here. If I stay here I will be happy with my life but feel guilty for my family. I cannot decide what to do and what is right. Please give your perspective.

[AustinB]

Originally Posted by surgtechchrissy

My husband and I were both born and raised in Florida. We both hated it, hated the heat, the crime, the lack of seasons etc. We left our family and moved to Maine. We absolutely love it. We love having new problems that come with living in the north. We love the atmosphere and the close proximity to the other New England states. We have been here almost 2 years and we feel at home here. Florida seems like a place we used to live, not home. The problem is the family we left behind. My mother was my best friend and I am the only family she had. She has lots of friends and works a lot so she is busy but I know we miss each other like crazy. My husband misses his elderly mother although she has lots of family around. I am torn between my surroundings and my family I guess. If I move back to Florida, I will hate it there and wish I was here. If I stay here I will be happy with my life but feel guilty for my family. I cannot decide what to do and what is right. Please give your perspective.

You've only got the one mother. new England will always be here, mom won't. besides, you already know what you want to do, or you wouldn't have mentioned it.

[Kiwiluver]

I miss my long deceased parents terribly. You could spend your vacations with them, fly down for long weekends, Skype/FaceTime often. I do believe my parents would want me to be happy in my life and live for myself, I do not profess to know the intricacies of you situation and it is your life. It is a tough decision, our kids/grandkids are in North Carolina and New Zealand, we spend as much time as possible with them but we are retired and have free time. Austin is correct, you know what you want to do.

[svband76]

Any chance you could rent your home out and visit Florida more often for longer periods of time? Check out vrbo.com, air bnb, Homeway..websites like that. I have elderly parents who unfortunately won't be around (physically at least) in a few years. I'm thinking I really want to make Maine my home now as well but will have to wait.

[TheKezarWoodsman]

I recomend Skype, or another video streaming service. Im sure you could find someone to teach them the basics as it is fairly easy.

[OpinionExperience]

I would stay in Maine and spend this year figuring out how to communicate or visit more as mentioned above. Revisit contemplating a move next year.

[Brave Stranger]

If they are near retirement see if they would move up to New England. Put an in-law on the house & enjoy

[maineguy8888]

Have you asked your mother what SHE thinks about the situation??

[LoLo4444]

Your post speaks to my me! My husband and I are from Florida, both of our families live here. We're planning on moving to Maine next summer. All I can say is this; my parents left both of their families behind when they moved out of state and never went back, they visit about once per year, and their visits are always longer than a week. In fact they just flew out this morning to visit their mothers and siblings and will be gone about 10 days. I thought they would eventually retire back home but they said they're never moving back, they're happy staying in Florida. I guess home is wherever you're the happiest to be.

[slyfox2]

I promised my wife that I would drive back to PA three times a year for her to visit her parents as long as they were alive. My family in PA and NC disowned me over an inheritance they didn't get because they treated the family member who gave it like shat for as long as I was alive and I didn't.

So when the died, I am willing to visit my sister in law once. My wife seems to think that this agreement applies to her sister too. I tell her I will put her on a plane. She expects me to travel with her out to see my son and his wife and baby in Indiana 4 times a year. I tell her I will put her on a plane.

Every time we drive or take a plane it costs us $1500 to visit the son, and $1000 to visit the sister. Last week she want to drive down to see the sister for $1000 so she could go to a craft show there.

I love Mount Desert island, and have little interest in traveling anywhere else. My sister in law in an international banker with many many thousands of miles of frequent flyer jet miles. She could fly up here for the weekend and it would literally cost her nothing. Why should I spend $1000 to drive down to visit her?