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I think she was defending your asking about level of racial tolerance when another poster criticized you. It's one thing to grow up as the only black kid in your school (I'm sure that's pretty hard). But a lot of these very rural areas likely have no black people anywhere. Doesn't mean they're necessarily racist, that's just the reality.
Actually, I was responding to the point that the OP should not ask about race and not make race an issue. My point is that they MUST consider race, because race IS an issue -- not because the parents make it one but because it is an issue in our society. Children who grow up in total whiteness and only know borrowed white privilege because they're considered essentially as "honorary whites" in non diverse groups or communities are completely unprepared when they get out into the real world and experience racism.
Being the only black person (or one of two siblings) in a community with no other black people (not even black parents) is very isolating and othering for children.
Being the only black person (or one of two siblings) in a community with no other black people (not even black parents) is very isolating and othering for children.
I think chicagoliz is so very right about this. Racial identity is huge in our society. Many whites, assuming whiteness to be the norm, don't think about it. Non whites have no choice but to think of it and I hope that any white person who adopts nonwhite children do their best to recognize the identity issues their children will experience and help them work through them. Choosing to live in a diverse area seems like one important way to be an ally to one's children around racial issues.
-- Freely offered by the Department for the Dispensation of Unsolicited Advice
I hope that any white person who adopts nonwhite children do their best to recognize the identity issues their children will experience and help them work through them. Choosing to live in a diverse area seems like one important way to be an ally to one's children around racial issues.
-- Freely offered by the Department for the Dispensation of Unsolicited Advice
Which is exactly why I posed the question as I did. The bottom line is this - we live in an affluent area in Las Vegas now and while there is a large black population in the metro area, it is not uncommon for my kids to be two of a handful of black people anywhere we go in our community. But, at least there is a handful and enough where people don't even take a second look. I just want to make sure we find a community where we don't have to worry about hate groups actively looking to do harm to minorities or so few minorities that when we go somewhere it is like the circus came to town (we have been in those towns before).
Well, the hate groups are in short supply in all these states but blacks are few in the rural areas and small towns. Blacks in Massachusetts and Connecticut tend to live in larger cities and in certain suburban towns, e.g., Bloomfield, CT and Randolph, MA. I don't know what area in New York or any of the New England states where you can both find a 5-10 acre site with some arable land and black people.
If Western MA I'd echo in_newengland and consider areas around Northampton, Amherst and Greenfield. Mostly white but very progressive/academic/craftsy, also agricultural, and larger parcels may be available. The whole Connecticut Valley from Middletown, CT north to White River Jct, VT is very fertile and has many small farms (although in CT and southern MA it's all under heavy development pressure). The upper valley area -- White River Jct Vt, Hanover NH and thereabouts -- is also progressive, agricultural, food-coop territory, with great medical at Dartmouth Hitchcock, but again, very white.
In southeast Mass, down where they grow cranberries and once hunted whales, lots of African heritage folks from the Azores settled there in the 19th century with the whaling. Not sure how rural the population is and the area isn't really rural at all but you could find a couple of arable acres. Mass also has a sizable Brazilian population in the west-of-Boston area but larger parcels are not really available. Rhode Island may offer possibilities too. There are also Native American communities in eastern CT and southeast MA. Otherwise pretty white. On the whole, I'd think states like Maryland, Virginia and North Carolina would offer more chances of finding what you want.
I don't think you'll find hate groups in rural New England (whereas you do find them in places like rural Michigan). But there are are lots of issues of racism and isolation that come with rural areas. Some black people say they much prefer the South to the North, which is some ways seems counter-intuitive. But there are many black people in the South and the racism is more overt, so they know exactly who they're dealing with and who to avoid. But I'd still worry about rural areas in the South, because I fear that those racist groups that are there would be more violent. I've seen some families with black children who no longer visit family members who live in certain areas of the South because they feel too unsafe.
So, while you might not find the organized hate groups in places like Vermont, there is still racism in New England, as there is everywhere.
I don't think you'll find hate groups in rural New England (whereas you do find them in places like rural Michigan). But there are are lots of issues of racism and isolation that come with rural areas. Some black people say they much prefer the South to the North, which is some ways seems counter-intuitive. But there are many black people in the South and the racism is more overt, so they know exactly who they're dealing with and who to avoid. But I'd still worry about rural areas in the South, because I fear that those racist groups that are there would be more violent. I've seen some families with black children who no longer visit family members who live in certain areas of the South because they feel too unsafe.
So, while you might not find the organized hate groups in places like Vermont, there is still racism in New England, as there is everywhere.
There are hate groups in New England but they generally keep a low profile. Do I think anyone is going to burn a cross on his front yard? Nope. Do I think OP will have people staring at his family in the grocery store? Probably, especially since he plans to further isolate his kids by not sending them to a local school.
The real issue is the OP wants a diverse rural area - There really isn't such a thing in New England.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ryanms3030
So black children should grow up around all black kids? That's the opposite of diversity and that thinking only holds back our society. I have a few black friends that grew up in the MA suburbs where there were only a couple of other black kids or even being the only black kid in their school and they turned out fine. Their life and experience is not the same as other black people that I know that grew up in Chicago, Baltimore or Atlanta with larger black population. It's different not necessarily better or worse. But people that I know that grew up in very white communities where not traumatized by it. The bigger issue imo is raising kids in an isolated rural community vs larger suburban or urban area.
What? Who said all black kids? She said just not "total whiteness".
Holy crud.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dm84
There are hate groups in New England but they generally keep a low profile. Do I think anyone is going to burn a cross on his front yard? Nope. Do I think OP will have people staring at his family in the grocery store? Probably, especially since he plans to further isolate his kids by not sending them to a local school.
The real issue is the OP wants a diverse rural area - There really isn't such a thing in New England.
I have to agree with this. Especially the bolded, and home schooling will add to the isolation.
Which is exactly why I posed the question as I did. The bottom line is this - we live in an affluent area in Las Vegas now and while there is a large black population in the metro area, it is not uncommon for my kids to be two of a handful of black people anywhere we go in our community. But, at least there is a handful and enough where people don't even take a second look. I just want to make sure we find a community where we don't have to worry about hate groups actively looking to do harm to minorities or so few minorities that when we go somewhere it is like the circus came to town (we have been in those towns before).
What you've written in the various state threads is:
- 10 acres
- Home school
- Non-mainstream church relative to the very laissez faire New England Protestant denominations
Northern New England is the whitest place in the country. Maine #1, Vermont #2, New Hampshire #3. The part of Western Mass and upstate New York you've mentioned are similar. What are you looking for, a moat and drawbridge around your fortress? In the rural northeast, everyone comes from there. You are an outsider. This isn't the west where everyone is a recent transplant. Most new families integrate into the community via the public schools and kid-oriented activities. Your kids are going to be incredibly isolated regardless of their skin color.
Color blind places tend to be stuffed full of educated professionals. They're affluent. They have traveled. They care about your values, not your race. If you don't want your children to be isolated, live in one of those places. Ditch the whole home schooling nonsense. Don't live out in the boonies on 10 acres surrounded by white people who have lived there for generations.
I'd also comment that affluent suburban New England public schools tend to be much better than the national norm.
I'd pick a college town/professional town with a good school system. Burlington/Chittenden County, Vermont. Hanover/Dartmouth College NH and the Vermont border towns like Norwich. You might be able to afford Durham, NH or the adjacent towns west of it. You're not going to be able to afford anything inside the Boston I-495 belt or Connecticut Fairfield County. Kingstown or East Greenwich RI might work. Maybe somewhere around Amherst, Mass. You probably don't want suburban enclaves next to failed cities like Longmeadow, Ma or Simsbury, Ct.
There are hate groups in New England but they generally keep a low profile. Do I think anyone is going to burn a cross on his front yard? Nope. Do I think OP will have people staring at his family in the grocery store? Probably, especially since he plans to further isolate his kids by not sending them to a local school.
The real issue is the OP wants a diverse rural area - There really isn't such a thing in New England.
1000X yes. I would venture that there isn't such a place anywhere.
When you adopt children of another race, you have an obligation to not isolate them. Sometimes that means making a compromise. If you really want to live in an isolated, rural area, you should not adopt children of another race.
What you've written in the various state threads is:
- 10 acres
- Home school
- Non-mainstream church relative to the very laissez faire New England Protestant denominations
Northern New England is the whitest place in the country. Maine #1, Vermont #2, New Hampshire #3. The part of Western Mass and upstate New York you've mentioned are similar. What are you looking for, a moat and drawbridge around your fortress? In the rural northeast, everyone comes from there. You are an outsider. This isn't the west where everyone is a recent transplant. Most new families integrate into the community via the public schools and kid-oriented activities. Your kids are going to be incredibly isolated regardless of their skin color.
Color blind places tend to be stuffed full of educated professionals. They're affluent. They have traveled. They care about your values, not your race. If you don't want your children to be isolated, live in one of those places. Ditch the whole home schooling nonsense. Don't live out in the boonies on 10 acres surrounded by white people who have lived there for generations.
I'd also comment that affluent suburban New England public schools tend to be much better than the national norm.
I'd pick a college town/professional town with a good school system. Burlington/Chittenden County, Vermont. Hanover/Dartmouth College NH and the Vermont border towns like Norwich. You might be able to afford Durham, NH or the adjacent towns west of it. You're not going to be able to afford anything inside the Boston I-495 belt or Connecticut Fairfield County. Kingstown or East Greenwich RI might work. Maybe somewhere around Amherst, Mass. You probably don't want suburban enclaves next to failed cities like Longmeadow, Ma or Simsbury, Ct.
Well said.
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