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That's like saying to a crippled person, "Just get up and walk".
Exactly. I like the OP's analysis. Part of the reason for my prolonged depression is my failure in my career. I wanted to be in film, ended up in Investments, and this industry is full of unethical, back stabbing people. It has ruined me. Not to mention, the love of my life abandoned and divorced me 2 years ago. Yeah, "snap out of it", is the worst advice I've ever heard. Unfortunately, unless you've really been through this (chemical imbalance), and/or had 3-4 of the worst things that can happen to a person in a lifetime over the course of a couple of years like losing a Father, divorce, multiple job losses, etc., you just don't get it. Its hard to recover even with the help of therapists, divorce support groups, medication, God, books on recovery, etc. The list goes on and on for me.
Exactly. I like the OP's analysis. Part of the reason for my prolonged depression is my failure in my career. I wanted to be in film, ended up in Investments, and this industry is full of unethical, back stabbing people. It has ruined me. Not to mention, the love of my life abandoned and divorced me 2 years ago. Yeah, "snap out of it", is the worst advice I've ever heard. Unfortunately, unless you've really been through this (chemical imbalance), and/or had 3-4 of the worst things that can happen to a person in a lifetime over the course of a couple of years like losing a Father, divorce, multiple job losses, etc., you just don't get it. Its hard to recover even with the help of therapists, divorce support groups, medication, God, books on recovery, etc. The list goes on and on for me.
geez, you know, I am into film as well, and I make videos that i wonder if anyone will ever see. and we are both in atl. maybe we should hang out and whine together.
nighthouse, that was an extremely well-written post on how it feels to be depressed, what helps and what doesn't. I have struggled with depression for most of my life, and you are spot on. If you are not a professional writer, you should be.
I just wanted to respond to your comments about the man on Prozac who beat his wife. Occasionally these things happen. Depressants are overprescribed, and they're not for everyone. Sometimes it takes a lot of trial and error to find the medication and the dosage that works. Sometimes talk therapy is more effective. Some very sensitive people just can't tolerate the side effects that medications can have.
But for many depressives like myself who truly do have an imbalance of chemicals in the brain and nothing else has helped, antidepressants can be a game-changer. Prozac took away those "crap colored glasses" and let me have 20-20 vision again. All the years of therapy, all the exercise in the world, all the dietary changes I tried couldn't do that.
I just had to say this because anyone who might be considering antidepressants might be put off by all the horror stories you see in the media. I know I certainly was. I had to hit rock bottom before I finally got desperate enough that I was willing to try anything to get better. I only wish I had started taking Prozac sooner. It feels so good to have that heavy burden lifted off me and not let depression keep me from being the person I want to be and deserve to be.
This is a good post. I also want to add that for some people the anti-depressant does not have to be a permanent solution. There is nothing wrong with it being so in the case of a severe chemical imbalance such as Bayarea4 describes above. However, for people like me, the a/d helped me respond to therapy and learn to manage my depression and anxiety/obsessions in other ways so that eventually (after 7 years) I was able to wean myself off of them. I miss the meds from time to time--I'd love to wake up again with that clarity of thought that I have to struggle to attain each day, but at least now I have some mental skills to get there. I am not sure I would have been able to learn what I needed to do and adjust my thought processes without first having that boost from the medication. At least it would have taken longer to do so.
yes, as a friend of mine says: "comparisons are odious".
One thing that I have learned and have tried to incorporate in my day-to-day life is not comparing myself with others. Not only in the manner of others saying, look at so-and-so you don't have it nearly as bad as this person, but also with simply trying to keep up with the Joneses. Who cares about trying to keep up with somebody else (or, worse, looking down on people who may be homeless or otherwise have less than you have)? Just make the most of your life - whatever that may be - and let others do the comparisons if they feel the need.
Quote:
Originally Posted by nighthouse66
its funny because when a tragedy happens in my life (deaths, car accidents that leave friends disabled etc) i DO feel better for a moment. i think because i am too busy feeling bad for my loved ones instead of mulling over the same issues that every depressive faces. but it lasts a day or so and then it becomes..."wow, life is short, what am i doing about my life? when am i going to feel better"? and then it all goes to chit.
I know what you mean. If a friend needs my help to talk about something going on their lives, it makes me feel better. I think this is because I am feeling useful to somebody else and can focus on them (being selfless) than focusing on my own issues and getting depressed about what is going on in my life. Pure selflessness is a key to pure happiness and helping others is a key to reaching that.
Family Practice Doc's are to quick to prescribe AD's. I've tried most all the AD's, they don't work on me, I either get the side effects only or they make me more tired out. I've tried the amino acids, and about all the herbs and homeopathic stuff made. It's very frustrating. And the doc that states you have a chemical imbalance just assumes that, and has no idea what chemical you may be lacking. It's like throwing a dart at the dartboard, trial an error.
I would get far more understanding if I said I had something physical wrong with me. People understand tumors, bad hearts, migraine headaches, etc and thus have greater empathy. Even though my anxiety attacks create awful physical effects, people don't seem to get that. I've had people to tell me to snap out of the depression, real sensitive forward thinkers aren't they? And if these same people had some big problems in life and were deeply depressed, they would expect people to be kind and understanding.
Doctors don't like to the difficult patients, they might actually have to use their brain a little, they get no greater fee for having to actually try to understand and help the patient. They would rather just pick a pill off the top ten list and push you out the door. I go to the VA hospital and man what a bunch of uncaring quacks I've run into there. They are literally stealing their pay checks. I've got it bad today in fact, the depression and the anxiety. I couldn't go out to the store, so now I'm left with a jar of peanut butter till morning..no bread or crackers either...haha. Oh well that's how it is, I couldn't go and I have no family or friends. These know it all people that spout off smart things, I'd like to have them spend a day with these severe problems, they would singing another tune after that. Hope you all feel better, best of luck to you all.
A thing I've noticed is that people don't have patience for "invisible" disorders. If you lose a spouse to cancer, the effect is immediate and obvious, and friends and family will support you for awhile, but even then you don't get the support you need for as long as you need it unless you're not that sad to begin with. If you get a divorce, they're sorry for you for about 3 weeks and then you're expected to suck it up and go on--I had my ex and some others tell me to get over it 6 weeks after he dropped the bomb after 23 years of marriage. So if people are this impatient with disasters they can see and hear, what do you think they're going to do about a disorder that ruins your life, but in ways that can't be felt by anyone but you? And they will say the first thing that comes to their minds b/c they just can't deal with it and since they can't deal with it and they feel guilty, they will blame you.
And then there is the class of people who firmly believe that the way they see and feel the world is the way everyone does, or ought to at least. So they look at your situation and reason that they would not be unhappy if they were in your shoes so really you shouldn't be either and the sooner you can get over it, the better off you will be. There are very many people in the world who are like this.
A thing I've noticed is that people don't have patience for "invisible" disorders. If you lose a spouse to cancer, the effect is immediate and obvious, and friends and family will support you for awhile, but even then you don't get the support you need for as long as you need it unless you're not that sad to begin with. If you get a divorce, they're sorry for you for about 3 weeks and then you're expected to suck it up and go on--I had my ex and some others tell me to get over it 6 weeks after he dropped the bomb after 23 years of marriage. So if people are this impatient with disasters they can see and hear, what do you think they're going to do about a disorder that ruins your life, but in ways that can't be felt by anyone but you? And they will say the first thing that comes to their minds b/c they just can't deal with it and since they can't deal with it and they feel guilty, they will blame you.
And then there is the class of people who firmly believe that the way they see and feel the world is the way everyone does, or ought to at least. So they look at your situation and reason that they would not be unhappy if they were in your shoes so really you shouldn't be either and the sooner you can get over it, the better off you will be. There are very many people in the world who are like this.
Brilliantly said, Stepka, as usual. I mean, you nailed it. Thats exactly what I've been through and exactly why many people have dropped out of my life. I sort of get it, but it's sad.
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