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Old 10-24-2011, 06:20 AM
 
Location: northern Alabama
1,085 posts, read 1,275,428 times
Reputation: 2900

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My mother did not drink. My father quit drinking when he married my mother. There was no alcohol in our home. I did not take my first drink until I left home. I was about 22 years old.

No one ever spoke of our family 'secret'. It wasn't until I joined AA that my sponsor told me to talk to my family about my alcoholism. I did, and found out how many family members had the same problem.

My parents told me it was something no one talked about.

I thank God for AA. It saved my life.

 
Old 10-24-2011, 01:19 PM
 
Location: The Conterminous United States
22,584 posts, read 54,294,239 times
Reputation: 13615
Quote:
Originally Posted by jasper12 View Post
Addiction is a disease, anyone seen people with COPD, on oxygen, take off the oxygen for a cigarette? Or worse yet, smoke thru a trach hole? Is that lack of will? Or hard core addiction?
So everyone that quit smoking was an addict and had a disease?

I smoked for 30 years. I usually smoked 30 cigarettes a day, although I have chain smoked. Two years ago I quit. I must have been an addict and had a disease, right? I didn't go to a 12-step group. Didn't attend any meetings. I just stopped thinking about, did things to fill the void, told myself that I was better than the cigarettes.

So what happened there?

Quote:
I have seen people who have destroyed their lives by drinking, continue to drink, to the point of being homeless, and pissing on themselves. Now, who would do that voluntarily?
Maybe, just maybe it is because they are told they have a disease and have given up. Maybe they think that they cannot just quit, they are not good enough. Or they may not want to because they hate themselves.

You have to first get some self-esteem if you want to quit.

I'm constantly amazed by the folks that will not take responsibility for their own lives, blaming their actions on anything they can find. It's unfortunate because when you take control of your own life you can also pat yourself on the back for your own accomplishments.

But I agree. I really don't care if people call it a disease or not. The problem is that is a great excuse for laying down and peeing on yourself, or going to a meeting and hanging on one day at at time.

You know why I don't smoke, don't use, don't drink? Because it's a waste. My life is wonderful and I don't want to miss another minute not feeling it, even when times are horrendous. When I am laid low it only makes the highs that much better. And I deserve to feel it all.

Disease? Whatever.

We've become a nation of finger pointers.
 
Old 10-24-2011, 04:16 PM
 
Location: The 719
18,021 posts, read 27,468,060 times
Reputation: 17342
I used to use tobacco products too. I'd enjoy it for a time and then not, but I found it hard to quit. I put it up in a 6th step as a character defect and not long after that, i tried to quit, fought through mental obsessions for a while, and the cravings and urges went away. It's been about 5 years tobacco free now.

I think anybody can become a drug addict. And thus anybody can become a non-addict, if you stay away long enough.

Alcohol, however is a selective affliction and some need help... imo I chose spiritual help and I'm sober almost 8 years. I do take responsibility and do no finger-pointing and do not bash others with their affliction just because I'm recovered from mine. But if that's working for your self esteem, great!
 
Old 10-24-2011, 08:56 PM
 
18,836 posts, read 37,368,760 times
Reputation: 26469
Often former addicts do not make the best substance abuse counselors, as they are usually harsh and brutal in their confrontation with an addict. One addict who quits, does not mean another person will have the same experience. Addiction is usually a symptom of underlying mental health issues, using a substance to self medicate. That is why it is a disease. That creates other physical, mental, and emotional problems.

I congratulate anyone who overcomes addiction, but ask yourself why you were addicted for so long, if is is not a disease? If you quit cold turkey one day, why did it take 30 years of addiction to get to that point?

We don't point fingers. There are elements of personal responsibilty in addiction, same as obesity, and even diabetes. Not everyone needs AA, it helps some, not all. I am more of a "rational recovery" person myself, or even harm reduction.
 
Old 10-24-2011, 10:54 PM
 
Location: The Conterminous United States
22,584 posts, read 54,294,239 times
Reputation: 13615
Quote:
Originally Posted by jasper12 View Post
Often former addicts do not make the best substance abuse counselors, as they are usually harsh and brutal in their confrontation with an addict.
They make the best counselors because they see through the baloney. The person that is using is very good at muddling the issue, turning the tables back on anyone else but themselves, creating drama so that they have a splendid excuse to use and of course, blaming everyone and everything. It's all an elaborate play so that they can pick up, so they can whine about how life is tough and that if they use it simply isn't there fault.

The former addict sees right through that. The best thing for the addict is to get straight talk and not be coddled. Otherwise the addict just continues on with using.

Look, people use as a coping mechanism. They want to avoid pain, problems, life. And if you do that enough it becomes a habit. New ways to deal with issues need to come into play.


Quote:
I congratulate anyone who overcomes addiction, but ask yourself why you were addicted for so long, if is is not a disease? If you quit cold turkey one day, why did it take 30 years of addiction to get to that point?
So you are saying that people that smoked for 30 years had a disease? Because if you are, and I think you are, then that is the first time I have ever heard that smokers have a disease, too.
 
Old 10-24-2011, 10:55 PM
 
Location: Earth
24,620 posts, read 28,286,152 times
Reputation: 11416
jasper:

I refuse to go to recovered addicts or people who specialize in addiction counseling.
I have a living problem and the alcohol/drug use was just a symptom.

The Japanese have an interesting saying: Poor me, poor me, pour me a drink.

I'm with the poster who says, who cares if it's considered a disease or not. My main issue is recovery.

Quote:
by hiknapster:
They make the best counselors because they see through the baloney. The person that is using is very good at muddling the issue, turning the tables back on anyone else but themselves, creating drama so that they have a splendid excuse to use and of course, blaming everyone and everything. It's all an elaborate play so that they can pick up, so they can whine about how life is tough and that if they use it simply isn't there fault.

The former addict sees right through that. The best thing for the addict is to get straight talk and not be coddled. Otherwise the addict just continues on with using.

Look, people use as a coping mechanism. They want to avoid pain, problems, life. And if you do that enough it becomes a habit. New ways to deal with issues need to come into play.
Apparently you have more opinions than experience.
I wouldn't touch a recovering therapist with your 6 foot pole.
I don't need to focus on my drug/alcohol issue - it hasn't been an issue for over 1/4 century.
I have real issues to deal with.

What is a recovered person going to offer me when I'm dealing with a serious physical disability that I have.
Ridiculous.
 
Old 10-24-2011, 11:26 PM
 
18,836 posts, read 37,368,760 times
Reputation: 26469
The issue is not whether addiction is a disease or lack of will, but rather how to deal with something that is impacting your life negatively.

And I have worked with recovering addicts who think they are great "counselors". They lack empathy, and are often confrontational and adversarial. It is hardly therapuetic. Alienating a person in need is not helpful. The "black and white" approach is part of the addicts pathology and flawed thinking, just stopping using does not change thought patterns.

Yalom has an excellent book on why addicts don't stop using, it is tied up with existential self, and facing failure of self. Comparing yourself with who you would have been if not for the addiction is rough. One day at a time.
 
Old 10-25-2011, 06:01 PM
 
55 posts, read 79,157 times
Reputation: 76
I find it hilarious that people that don't have drinking problems can judge alcoholics and call them bums. You people are pathetic.
 
Old 10-25-2011, 06:08 PM
 
55 posts, read 79,157 times
Reputation: 76
I completely agree with you Jasper. You seem like the only level headed person on this topic.
 
Old 10-25-2011, 07:34 PM
 
Location: The 719
18,021 posts, read 27,468,060 times
Reputation: 17342
That's nice. But why would someone need.drinking problems to be effective with helping other alkies?

I am sober and alcohol is no longer my problem... not today, not tomorrow, and you can bet that I'll be sober 8 years in about two and a half months.

And guess what? I won't have to avoid temptation, swear off, beg God, or do goody-good things.

The problem has just been removed from me. No disease, no need to exercise my will, no need to get cocky about it. It's just fact. Heck, I don't even need yalls' approval.

You can have this too... if you want it and if you go after it.
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