Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Wow, we are soul sisters, esp this comment. Funny, I remember a horrible boy in sixth grade too but if he's dropped dead I haven't heard about it yet. Yeah, I was def the weird one and it didn't help that I always had my head in a book and wore freaky clothes b/c my mother had no sense of what a 12 yo should wear so she put me in clothes more appropriate for the 35 yo that she was. I had this red poncho that I wore every day to disguise what I was wearing that day and the thing they called me the most was pimple puss and they would demand to know why I didn't bother to wash my face. (I did, constantly, but I'm still a greaseball.) Ugh.
After I got dx'ed with ADD a few years ago and learned that social problems and rejection are a big part of the disorder I chose to go on the meds and they helped immensely, though I had come a long way since the bad old days. With meds, it did seem as if a great deal of the insecurity dropped away and I made better eye contact and I went into new situations expecting to be liked b/c I'm nice, rather than hated for some unknown reason which would turn out to be a self-fulfilling prophecy. And now, for the most part, I get along with pretty much anyone but I've had to work to get rid of the bitterness and embrace the pain of childhood. Still, I haven't left it behind enough to have even the slightest desire to go to a high school reunion. I can just imagine what kind of negative feelings that would dredge up.
Oh, our mothers must have been related. My mother grew up dirt poor during the depression and was abnormally tall like me (I'm the only one of my sisters who grew to be six feet tall like our mother--they are all only 5'8" or so) and also had no idea how to dress me and had all her own bad feelings about being too tall and not having clothing when SHE was young. I think she just looked at me and saw everything she hated about herself. Between my height and her frugality, she would, for example, buy me a coat that was way too big so that I could have it for three years. However, whenever possible, I first had to wear hand-me-downs whether they belonged to one of my older sisters or my brother. She also expected us to wear the same clothes for three days or so in a row because that's what they did when she was young, but no one in my school did that and the kids made fun of me for always having the same things on. I hated the hand-me-downs until my sisters (6 and 8 years older) were older teenagers and got jobs, which enabled them to buy cool clothes, and then I would get their old stuff when they got tired of it. I also found out years later that they shoplifted a lot, which is why they had so many new outfits, lol. Terrible, but no alarm tags in those days.
I didn't have ADD. Had OCD, but undiagnosed until I was in my forties. I was also a bookworm--used to take my book and hide in the woods behind my house to read so no one would yell at me for reading too much or interrupt me.
Oh, and I was "Pizza Face". I was also "The Giant Walking Sequoia Tree". No, I don't go to reunions, either.
Yes. I was a shy child and now, after reading the other posts, I am wondering which came first, that we were shy or that we were teased. Seems like when you are teased you just wish you could evaporate. I was a country kid instead of a city kid. I was a smart kid which didn't fit with not being one of the richer kids. I had to get glasses in the 3rd grade, my hair just never cooperated with a style and my clothes didn't come from the shop in town and more often were second hand. I was teased by relatives also. But, I overcame the shyness and am now bold and outspoken. At some point, it was just enough. No more. Once you are confident, they leave you alone. Those teasers are not confident and that is why they chose the shy or more reserved to attack and teasing is not all in fun for the recipient of such.
Same here--glasses in third grade, and I have horribly fuzzy/wavy hair that is hard to control. My mom's solution was to cut it short like a boy's, and then it just stuck out in all directions. I now pay $85 for a haircut because in my 50's I have finally found someone who cuts it well.
Got the braces in 7th grade, around the time the acne started kicking in.
Thanks for sharing. Sorry about all your hurtful experiences. The "stuff" we go through as a kid can definitely "stick" with us for the rest of our lives. Sad!...When I was growing-up I sure felt like a "nerd" and "misfit" and "weirdo" and very very "different" from other kids my age. I worked hard to develop social-skills. And I worked hard to become more outgoing and "normal." I wanted to try to "fit-in" a little more...Good that I've had some friends who liked me. (All through my life.) But all in all I've felt like an "outsider" in groups and not really "part of the gang" per se...All of these "old feelings" have become intensified since my husband died and my son has been "away" in hospitals...I'm suddenly out in the world on my own again. (With no "cover" or protection.) And I struggle with those old "misfit" feelings again.
You surely have my sympathy. But, I became outgoing but not "normal" and I bet you really have no interest in being "normal", seriously how boring and hopeless are they! My son has Down syndrome and he is considered not "normal" so we are a perfect fit! I came out as ME! I celebrate what makes me different. A couple years back, had listed myself on Classmates as a "misfit" and I got a message from one of those that tortured me, "I hope I am no way responsible for you having felt like a misfit." Well, let's see, if you think you might have been, wouldn't you probably be on the right track. Since it was almost 40 years ago, I wrote: "I remember you as nice. (saying out loud, to other people) I did not see being a misfit as a bad thing." I amplify my differences.
All my best and it sounds like under the conditions you are forced to endure that you're doing OK since you are here reaching out. Just don't lock yourself away from the world. Get outside and try meet like minded people and as you see, there are many.
AnywhereElse...Really enjoyed your post. Thanks!..I liked the way you responded to your former classmate. Good for you!...No I doubt that anyone would call me "normal." And what does it mean to be "normal" anyway? Each family and group and community/country (etc.) has its own set of "norms." Right?...I don't always say "what might be expected." (This is how I'd define myself.)...My thoughts and views and ideas may seem "odd" or "way out there" to some people...Sometimes people don't know how to respond to what I say or write! It's all "foreign" to them...But it seems perfectly "normal" to me! Have you ever run into any of this! Thanks again for sharing.
I was academic but would pretend not to be to be more "popular". so silly, lol I have no interest in reunions , so long ago plus I would not take a trip to NY just for that, even if I won a 20 million dollar lottery.
CArizona, you said you feel like you "dont fit in" now that you are alone without husband..I can relate to that as during first separation with my ex I had feelings of shame, and like I had "failed". I realized I was being way too hard on myself, perhaps you are too?
dreamofmonterey...I never went to any reunions either...My parents sent me to an uppity and affluent Catholic high school for girls. I didn't "fit-in" at all! I became a "rebel" and challenged the nuns about lots of things...Right before our first freshman dance the principal announced that we weren't going to be allowed to do the "Twist" at the dance. Anyone caught doing the "Twist" would be pulled off the dance floor. Or our parents would be called and we'd be asked to leave the dance! I thought this was totally unfair and worked "twist moves" into my dancing whenever I could. I got pulled off the floor several times but they weren't too hard on me back then. I was still new to the school and a top honor student...Later on they hated my guts. I was asked to leave the school in the middle of my junior year. I felt happy and relieved but my parents weren't very "happy campers."....My parents were "down-to-earth" middle class people and Democrats. The school was ultra conservative. I didn't "fit-in" at all! It was a "bad match!" I went to a public high school after that. (And felt like a "fish out of water!") What were your school years like? More about husbands in the next post. Thanks!
dreamofmonterey...It's rough when a marriage ends. (Due to divorce or death.)...When my husband was alive I felt safe and protected. We were "in it" together. I didn't have to "go it alone."...Now it's all different. It's lonely and I feel "blah." What happened to my "upbeat" personality? Who the heck am I without my "honey-bunny?"...Sometimes I feel like a "used-up" dish towel or a dried-up prune...Or an avocado that's mostly brown and not worth eating...Or a bottle of soda that's lost its "fizz." How about a mangled-up ice-cream wrapper that's been tossed-aside and left on the ground to "bake" and "rot" in the hot summer sun?...Guess I could go on and on. My husband would be proud of me because I'm starting to get my sense of humor back. (Bit by bit anyway!)....He always found "humor" in life and something to smile and laugh about even in the "darkest" of "times!"....But seriously it's hard to be "left behind." And it's horrible to go through a divorce. I know!...Good that time "heals" most "wounds." (If we want to "heal" and "move on" in time.) Right??
It's true kids can be so cruel, With the emotional trauma lasting for so long. My heart goes out to all who experienced this. An example of this is how I remember one of my main tormentors full name and face, right down to his hairstyle. I posted in another thread how we met at 3:15 PM in the school yard for a 30+ minute fight. Was a draw. He had one hell of a lip the next day though. Was scary, With a whole bunch of spectators-Not rooting for me either.
Things did not end well for him as an adult years later. I was not too sympathetic.
I was brutally tormented from kindergarten till grade 6 for every reason under the sun. Too quiet, too physically developed for my age, a short time too smelly till anti-persperant found me, acne, extreme shyness, too brainy, way too proper (had the pinkie thing going too, yikes. At least most adults loved me, maybe some a little too much. Thankfully after grade 6, and me confronting the ring leader of one particularly mean group, every year from then on the so called cool kids wanted me to be part of their little cliques, no thanks. Still had to battle mean girls in teen years, due to lots of jealousies. I was happy when I entered all girls high school, it was great to leave, most of, the nonsense behind.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
So many people...
Thankfully after grade 6, and me confronting the ring leader of one particularly mean group, every year from then on the so called cool kids wanted me to be part of their little cliques, no thanks. Still had to battle mean girls in teen years, due to lots of jealousies. I was happy when I entered all girls high school, it was great to leave, most of, the nonsense behind.
