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Alright, maybe you guys are sick of this subject but we were highjacking someone else's post--at least it was an old one. But maybe it's time to start a new thread. There has been a lot of bickering all over this board, the education board, the parenting board, special needs, etc, and those who are against medicating children are the most outspoken about ADD not being a real disorder. Well I have the disorder myself and I'm still on the fence as to whether it's a disorder, or a personality type that has less ability in these modern times to fit in.
Why it's a disorder for me:
*inattentive--of course
*can't sit still--of course--these are the most well known symptoms but there are so many more
* I have a real problem, and esp have in the past getting along with people. I think I'm really nice but I have a terrible tendency to annoy the fire out of some people and I hate that b/c I love people and want to be social. When I get depressed it's almost always because someone was mean to me or someone I thought was a friend turned out to not be one at all. I am often depressed, but not nearly as often as I was pre-adderall, so it's been great for me
*Bills often paid late--I'll do really well for several months and then it gets crazy for awhile
*Undependable for doing things like committees--I generally steer clear of activities like PTO for this reason
*Very underemployed for my IQ and education level--this is big and all it takes is for one person at work to have it in for me and I'm sunk because I'm not a political player at all, at all. I just want to do my work and do it well and not have to be defending myself from people who don't want to do their work but take credit for mine
*have a hard time keeping up with the house, though it's a simple one to keep up with
Why it's a personality type:
*there are so many positives to it also
*I have a great deal of insight into what makes people tick--despite the lack of social skills, I am way better at this than many people I know who have many friends.
*Some things I do extremely well, though not often on a consistent basis
* though the dental visits don't always get scheduled on time, my kids have had a very happy childhood with me as their mom
*at work I tutor high school kids and when I run into a wall with them, I can almost always figure out another way to help them learn a difficult concept, sometimes at a snap. Also, when I'm working with them, I'm teaching them a great deal more than just what we're working on, like test taking strategies, or the philosophy behind a historical event
* I have marvelous test taking skills, and mainly b/c of my ADD--many of the test-taking strategies that are presented to the students are things I've always done anyway, like doing the easy ones first--it just comes naturally to me, but some students are extremely uncomfortable not doing them in order. Unfortunately, the test is only the beginning--you get the job with your social skills.
I have adapted to my ADD. I used to have a job, that required attention to detail, organization, lots of unstructured tasks, it was just overwhelming to me. It required abilities that were all beyond me. I changed jobs, much better. I also reduced my life to being more simple. That made a huge diffference.
Alright, maybe you guys are sick of this subject but we were highjacking someone else's post--at least it was an old one. But maybe it's time to start a new thread. There has been a lot of bickering all over this board, the education board, the parenting board, special needs, etc, and those who are against medicating children are the most outspoken about ADD not being a real disorder. Well I have the disorder myself and I'm still on the fence as to whether it's a disorder, or a personality type that has less ability in these modern times to fit in.
Why it's a disorder for me:
*inattentive--of course
*can't sit still--of course--these are the most well known symptoms but there are so many more
* I have a real problem, and esp have in the past getting along with people. I think I'm really nice but I have a terrible tendency to annoy the fire out of some people and I hate that b/c I love people and want to be social. When I get depressed it's almost always because someone was mean to me or someone I thought was a friend turned out to not be one at all. I am often depressed, but not nearly as often as I was pre-adderall, so it's been great for me
*Bills often paid late--I'll do really well for several months and then it gets crazy for awhile
*Undependable for doing things like committees--I generally steer clear of activities like PTO for this reason
*Very underemployed for my IQ and education level--this is big and all it takes is for one person at work to have it in for me and I'm sunk because I'm not a political player at all, at all. I just want to do my work and do it well and not have to be defending myself from people who don't want to do their work but take credit for mine
*have a hard time keeping up with the house, though it's a simple one to keep up with
Why it's a personality type:
*there are so many positives to it also
*I have a great deal of insight into what makes people tick--despite the lack of social skills, I am way better at this than many people I know who have many friends.
*Some things I do extremely well, though not often on a consistent basis
* though the dental visits don't always get scheduled on time,my kids have had a very happy childhood with me as their mom
*at work I tutor high school kids and when I run into a wall with them, I can almost always figure out another way to help them learn a difficult concept, sometimes at a snap. Also, when I'm working with them, I'm teaching them a great deal more than just what we're working on, like test taking strategies, or the philosophy behind a historical event
* I have marvelous test taking skills, and mainly b/c of my ADD--many of the test-taking strategies that are presented to the students are things I've always done anyway, like doing the easy ones first--it just comes naturally to me, but some students are extremely uncomfortable not doing them in order. Unfortunately, the test is only the beginning--you get the job with your social skills.
"personality type" ??
I find the first part questionable. Don't blame things such as undependable on ADD. Some people simply ARE undependable. And the bold.. are you for real!? How does this have ANYTHING to do with ADD... You got to be kidding me. I can't even believe I just read this. You clearly do not have ADD/are misdiagnosed. Nobody who has ADD would say this. Having ADD is just horrible. It severely limits your academic opportunities.
I find the first part questionable. Don't blame things such as undependable on ADD. Some people simply ARE undependable. And the bold.. are you for real!? How does this have ANYTHING to do with ADD... You got to be kidding me. I can't even believe I just read this. You clearly do not have ADD/are misdiagnosed. Nobody who has ADD would say this. Having ADD is just horrible. It severely limits your academic opportunities.
I most certainly do have it and I was dx'ed by a psychiatrist--not myself. And here's what she told me: everyone who has ADD has it in his/her own way. I also have a higher than average IQ, though you wouldn't know it since I've never been able to have a career and I'm too ditzy to get taken very much seriously.
Let's discuss the undependable part. Yes, some people just are and really don't care and others are and do care and are very upset when they hurt someone with their undependability and even though they remember the pain of when it happened last time, they will do it again and again. Sometimes it's b/c they're out chasing butterflies and smelling the roses and sometimes it's because they're too depressed to move and usually it's because they forgot.
Anyway Glucorious, I'm curious about you now. Are you responding in this way as someone who has ADD or has a child with it? I do find your use of the word *horrible* as an interesting choice of words. I would agree that it has been horrible at many points in my life, but at almost 53 I've had a long time to get used to it and my life has been a mix of the wonderful and the very bad, like most of us I'd expect. But is it horrible b/c it's a disorder, or is it because society has developed in such a way that it can only accommodate people who can sit still and do every math problem in order and not ask awkward questions? As for it severely limiting academic opps, I'd heartily agree--it took me 12 years to get thru college but by golly I made it. What I've found though is that it severely limits your career opps unless you're fortunate enough to find just the right career for you. I know many people with ADD and I go to a support group and I know that most of them would agree with my assessment of the positives.
Jasper, I would never survive in a job like that either--I'm glad you found a better fit.
That is true. It is amazing to me that I maintain employment. And that I am as successful as I am. I have an almost obsessive interest in my career field, and becasue of my ADD, I have changed jobs, so, it has made me very knowledgeable in my field.it blows me away.
People with ADD can be awesome at jobs, but only if it is structured.
Here's an essay I wrote on ADD in 2006 in my personal blog:
I have ADD. Not ADHD (which involves hyperactivity), but classic adult Attention Defecit Disorder, according to the charts and tests and whatever else they use to diagnose it. I have a theory about this "malady." I have come to the notion that ADD is neither a defecit, nor a disorder. Rather, it is a feature that we humans have always had, but never truly needed to exploit for our own benefit. And because we never had to make good use of it, those of us who evolve with full recognition of it have no idea what we're supposed to do with it. And so - some of us freak out and end up on meds. And the medical community encourages it, because this feature is something they don't know how to use either, and assume, therefore, that it is an illness. Which - it isn't.
It's as if the medical community is encountering a small group of people who possess a third, fully-functioning ear in the back of their head, making them capable of extraordinary hearing to the point of distraction. And rather than learn how to use that extraordinary hearing, how to hone this skill and reduce the distraction aspect of it, they remove the ear and deaden the extra nerve so that these fascinating "mutants" are more like "normal" people.
We ADDers are inundated with mental input. Our minds are constantly "on" and we lack that little mental button that lets us trigger the "mute" feature. Many of us have trouble falling asleep. Most of us have trouble "concentrating" on things. But that trouble, I believe, is caused not by some mental illness or social lack. It is caused by the fact that we just have a lot of stuff going on in our heads. It is NOISY in there. And we are trained to pay attention to things from the time we are very young. And it is extremely difficult to pay attention to everything at the same time, yet everything at the same time is continually thrust upon us by our own minds and external sources.
Here's the thing though: What if people with ADD are the ones who actually have the right idea? What if, instead of trying to suppress the noise, we are taught HOW to listen to it, how to use it to our advantage, how to know when to filter and when not to filter? What if people who don't have ADD are the ones who are lacking some innate skill, or who have simply never learned how to experience the skill for themselves? What if - it is a SKILL and not a mental illness at all?
The reason my boss asked me back to the job after I walked out (yes, I'm back there, with my raise), is because he knows I'm damned good at it. I not only can handle those 10 customers with their 5 screaming kids and Mr. Cell-Phone-Talking-Guy and the bus full of Koreans, I can do it efficiently, pleasantly, politely, and with the uncanny ability to make most of those customers glad they came in to such a mess and looking forward to their next visit. But *I* am the one with the "mental disorder?" How can that possibly be?
So I looked back on my job history. I rummaged through the pages upon pages of employment in my mental notebook (I have too many to bother writing down so I let my brain keep track of some of the more interesting ones). It turns out, that in all the myriad of jobs I've had (most of which were temp jobs), the ones that kept me interested the longest have involved direct customer service. And - no matter what my issues have been with employers, supervisors, co-workers, it's been the customers that have attracted me to the jobs. That social interaction. The quick pace of getting a dozen customers in and out of line with smiles on everyones' faces. And it's been the customers who have been the most satisfied with my work. Some of them come to our store -because- they know I'm the one who will be there to take their lunch order. There are over a dozen fast-food joints on the strip, and 2 more of the same store I work at, within 2 miles of mine - one on each end. Yet the people who live nearer the one to the north come to me. And many who live nearer the one to the south come to me.
And I have ADD, and I am unmedicated. How is this? Have I learned, through my ignorance, how to manage the ADD, get it to work to my advantage? Have I tapped into a skill that the medical profession has declared an illness? I am considering going to the Yale Psych department to offer this as a theory to some enterprising student looking for a thesis topic.
*****
The job stuff was a bit about how I worked as a fast food cashier back then in 2006. I'm a college graduate with post-graduate courses, and a few professional certifications in various fields. I never -stop- educating myself, and I'm 50 years old. But I keep returning to retail, regardless of my professional "career" credentials. I was wondering why, when I wrote the blog.
You know, I wonder about that and a couple of other "disorders" as I went to elementary school in the 60's when 30 to 35 kids were in a classroom and we had kids who couldn't focus, couldn't sit still - we had at least one of each imaginable type of child. I had a cousin who couldn't stand to be inside so kept escaping from school. Now, all these kids would have a diagnosis and probably have their "spirit" medicated away. In the world of work, most people can find their "place" where those things that make them "unique" work for them instead of against them. I think some kids/people do need medication but I think it should be a last resort and not an easy first step. I fought for years to keep my son with Down syndrome from being medicated in the schools so he wouldn't be a bother to them and now, I can see that it is going to start since he is an adult. I think everybody is different and should be and that we medicate away some special skills and talents when it is not necessary but as a last result, medication can be a life saver. Also, the OP is not the first I have heard of that succeeded in overcoming or working with what they ADD to make it positive so two thumbs up for insight and sharing it!
Oh and glucorious, the things that folks with ADD do well, they tend to do extremely well.
No, they do not do well. I read only 4% of people with ADD/ADHD get a College degree, compared to 34% of the general population.
I'm glad you got your degree, but it took you a very long time. And, of course, a lot of people with ADD may have a low GPA because they struggled so badly, even if they wanted to do better.
Quote:
Originally Posted by stepka
I most certainly do have it and I was dx'ed by a psychiatrist--not myself. And here's what she told me: everyone who has ADD has it in his/her own way. I also have a higher than average IQ, though you wouldn't know it since I've never been able to have a career and I'm too ditzy to get taken very much seriously.
If you do have it, you should have known that your generalizing was inappropriate.
Anyway Glucorious, I'm curious about you now. Are you responding in this way as someone who has ADD or has a child with it? I do find your use of the word *horrible* as an interesting choice of words. I would agree that it has been horrible at many points in my life, but at almost 53 I've had a long time to get used to it and my life has been a mix of the wonderful and the very bad, like most of us I'd expect. But is it horrible b/c it's a disorder, or is it because society has developed in such a way that it can only accommodate people who can sit still and do every math problem in order and not ask awkward questions? As for it severely limiting academic opps, I'd heartily agree--it took me 12 years to get thru college but by golly I made it. What I've found though is that it severely limits your career opps unless you're fortunate enough to find just the right career for you. I know many people with ADD and I go to a support group and I know that most of them would agree with my assessment of the positives.
Moderator cut: deleted at poster's request
Jasper, I would never survive in a job like that either--I'm glad you found a better fit.
And I know a lot of people totally dismiss ADD. And quite frankly, this pisses me off. They have no clue what they are talking about. The ability to sit down and clearly focus on even uninteresting things is something that's coordinated by the brain. And that part of the brain does not work the way it should in people with ADD. So this seemingly easy task becomes impossible.
BTW. I do realize some people may have mild ADD symptoms and do not do as badly as others.
Last edited by SouthernBelleInUtah; 03-26-2012 at 01:23 PM..
I have four kids, two have ADD, two do not. My oldest son is amazing, he is quiet, polite, attentive, I only told him to do something once, he did it, quickly, and precisely. His room was always immaculate, his backpack and school papers neatly organized. He is almost obsessive/OCD about his "routines", for eating, exercising, cleaning his clothes, and he developed these "routines" as a child, no instruction from me, he would tell me when he was five, "Mom, I HAVE to eat a fruit at each meal" okay. He was a straight "A" student. He now works for the USGS, doing maps. My other son, not quite like him, but they are pretty close in behavior.
Okay, contrast this with my second son, and daughter. They never "hear" me, their rooms were always a mess, their backpacks, full of crumpled, dog eared papers, that they got that DAY! They both lose stuff, had major problems in school, constantly impulsive, forgetful, really, these kids are all biologically related, same parents, same home environment.
My son with ADHD, is in the Army. He loves it. He excels at running around, yelling, he is a disel mechanic, but mostly he is infantry. He never took meds. He did go to a charter school, where his strengths were emphasized.
My daughter, does take Concerta, she is in college, majoring in Special Education.
So, disorder? Personality? I know there is a difference in the wiring of the brain. Believe me!
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