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I'm an only child, raised by my mom, but mostly my grandparents. My mom met her now husband when I was 7, hence the "mostly raised by grandparents" part. Anyways... I lived with mom and grandparents from the time I was born until a few months before my 14th birthday, when mom decided to move us into a house her now-husband had bought. Me and him did not get along. At all. I moved out and back into grandparents home two weeks before my 15th birthday.
Five years ago I met my boyfriend and we found a little place and lived there for 6 months. In those 6 months, we BOTH lost our jobs (I was laid off, he was fired) and my grandfather died. Devastated, and knowing I couldnt leave my grandmother alone, we moved back home and had the entire second apartment to ourselves.
In December of 2011 my gram passed. I was with it; it was sudden. Again, devastated beyond repair.
Since then my life has been on a fast paced downward spiral: my mom owns the house we live in, she's selling it and signing the 'official' papers at the end of this month. The boyfriend and I are breaking up- there's just nothing there anymore- and I'm facing alot all at once: moving to a place I can afford (yet in the ghetto, or) moving to a place with a complete stranger as a roommate. To complicate matters I have a dog and cat, and they will stay with me no matter what.
My mental health is failing.
I normally have a very positive, upbeat attitude- even after gram died (she was my life!) I remained positive. But not lately... I just can't see the silver lining any more. The house issue has me and mom at odds more so than ever- my relationship has utterly fallen apart, last night's arguement was the last straw- and I can't afford to live on my own. Theres no where left to turn.
I feel stranded. Deserted. Alone. Not looking for sympathy or encouraging words, I really just wanted to get this out, and get it out of my system. I'm at work and I'm completely nonfunctional as I barely slept, my eyes are so puffy I can hardly keep them open, and... obviously, there's a lot on my mind.
Sigh. I just dont know what direction to go. Keep the peace, stay with the boyfriend even though we can't STAND each other- but neither can afford to live on our own? Find a complete stranger to move in with, ditching all of my furniture and belongings? Live under a bridge with my dog as a blanket and the cat as a pillow? I wish life were easier.
We are both in a very similar situation. It sucks ass. I managed to get my old job back, but I am still in financial dire straits thanks to my STBX and her bad decisions.
I did find a place on Craigslist and am sharing an apartment with a complete stranger. Fortunately, she is seldom home. I MA not be able to keep that up because the ex just quit her job and I am lumbered with both of our expenses now.
I too stayed in a bad relationship for fear of being alone and due to the financial implications. It's not easy sharing a place - I have severe social anxiety.
Do what I'm doing and try not to think further ahead. I wish I had some tangible advice to give you, but I am slowly falling apart. You're not alone though.
I'm an only child, raised by my mom, but mostly my grandparents. My mom met her now husband when I was 7, hence the "mostly raised by grandparents" part. Anyways... I lived with mom and grandparents from the time I was born until a few months before my 14th birthday, when mom decided to move us into a house her now-husband had bought. Me and him did not get along. At all. I moved out and back into grandparents home two weeks before my 15th birthday.
Five years ago I met my boyfriend and we found a little place and lived there for 6 months. In those 6 months, we BOTH lost our jobs (I was laid off, he was fired) and my grandfather died. Devastated, and knowing I couldnt leave my grandmother alone, we moved back home and had the entire second apartment to ourselves.
In December of 2011 my gram passed. I was with it; it was sudden. Again, devastated beyond repair.
Since then my life has been on a fast paced downward spiral: my mom owns the house we live in, she's selling it and signing the 'official' papers at the end of this month. The boyfriend and I are breaking up- there's just nothing there anymore- and I'm facing alot all at once: moving to a place I can afford (yet in the ghetto, or) moving to a place with a complete stranger as a roommate. To complicate matters I have a dog and cat, and they will stay with me no matter what.
My mental health is failing.
I normally have a very positive, upbeat attitude- even after gram died (she was my life!) I remained positive. But not lately... I just can't see the silver lining any more. The house issue has me and mom at odds more so than ever- my relationship has utterly fallen apart, last night's arguement was the last straw- and I can't afford to live on my own. Theres no where left to turn.
I feel stranded. Deserted. Alone. Not looking for sympathy or encouraging words, I really just wanted to get this out, and get it out of my system. I'm at work and I'm completely nonfunctional as I barely slept, my eyes are so puffy I can hardly keep them open, and... obviously, there's a lot on my mind.
Sigh. I just dont know what direction to go. Keep the peace, stay with the boyfriend even though we can't STAND each other- but neither can afford to live on our own? Find a complete stranger to move in with, ditching all of my furniture and belongings? Live under a bridge with my dog as a blanket and the cat as a pillow? I wish life were easier.
People like to think they need to stay with a bad partner for fear of being alone. I hear it often. You can have a roommate instead. If this relationship is toxic, leave! It does not have to be all or nothing. There are countless options out there, but you need to allow for them.
Another suggestion would be that if your boyfriend is not abusive and you just don't get along any more, why not rent a 2-bedroom home or apartment and live as roommates. At least he is not a stranger. Both of you need to live somewhere and I would never suggest that you move back in with your mother and step-father. It is hard to find a place where you can bring your pets, and I applaud you for not abandoning them. You need them and they need you. Good luck to you.
Paint It Pink...If I was near you now I'd just wanna hug you...hang in there...and be proud that no matter what you WILL go on....sometimes, life can be very trying...very tough....but sometimes amazing things can come from it...glad you could get it out....it's nice to be able to do that I think.
I think we're going to go for the separate bedroom thing. It's a temporary fix but at least it's better than adding a ton of more stress to my already over-stressed mind (finding roommate, making sure my animals are ok with them, etc) and there's just not a chance of me ever abandoning my animals. It's a non-option.
Im trying to find some kind of balance. Life isn't easy right now.
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