U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Covid-19 Information Page
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Health and Wellness > Mental Health
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
Old 06-15-2012, 08:25 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
349 posts, read 552,343 times
Reputation: 280

Advertisements

Hi,

I really don't know where to begin.

I'm an only child, raised by my mom, but mostly my grandparents. My mom met her now husband when I was 7, hence the "mostly raised by grandparents" part. Anyways... I lived with mom and grandparents from the time I was born until a few months before my 14th birthday, when mom decided to move us into a house her now-husband had bought. Me and him did not get along. At all. I moved out and back into grandparents home two weeks before my 15th birthday.

Five years ago I met my boyfriend and we found a little place and lived there for 6 months. In those 6 months, we BOTH lost our jobs (I was laid off, he was fired) and my grandfather died. Devastated, and knowing I couldnt leave my grandmother alone, we moved back home and had the entire second apartment to ourselves.

In December of 2011 my gram passed. I was with it; it was sudden. Again, devastated beyond repair.

Since then my life has been on a fast paced downward spiral: my mom owns the house we live in, she's selling it and signing the 'official' papers at the end of this month. The boyfriend and I are breaking up- there's just nothing there anymore- and I'm facing alot all at once: moving to a place I can afford (yet in the ghetto, or) moving to a place with a complete stranger as a roommate. To complicate matters I have a dog and cat, and they will stay with me no matter what.

My mental health is failing.

I normally have a very positive, upbeat attitude- even after gram died (she was my life!) I remained positive. But not lately... I just can't see the silver lining any more. The house issue has me and mom at odds more so than ever- my relationship has utterly fallen apart, last night's arguement was the last straw- and I can't afford to live on my own. Theres no where left to turn.

I feel stranded. Deserted. Alone. Not looking for sympathy or encouraging words, I really just wanted to get this out, and get it out of my system. I'm at work and I'm completely nonfunctional as I barely slept, my eyes are so puffy I can hardly keep them open, and... obviously, there's a lot on my mind.

Sigh. I just dont know what direction to go. Keep the peace, stay with the boyfriend even though we can't STAND each other- but neither can afford to live on our own? Find a complete stranger to move in with, ditching all of my furniture and belongings? Live under a bridge with my dog as a blanket and the cat as a pillow? I wish life were easier.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 06-15-2012, 09:23 AM
 
Location: Purgatory
2,663 posts, read 4,676,153 times
Reputation: 3054
We are both in a very similar situation. It sucks ass. I managed to get my old job back, but I am still in financial dire straits thanks to my STBX and her bad decisions.

I did find a place on Craigslist and am sharing an apartment with a complete stranger. Fortunately, she is seldom home. I MA not be able to keep that up because the ex just quit her job and I am lumbered with both of our expenses now.

I too stayed in a bad relationship for fear of being alone and due to the financial implications. It's not easy sharing a place - I have severe social anxiety.

Do what I'm doing and try not to think further ahead. I wish I had some tangible advice to give you, but I am slowly falling apart. You're not alone though.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-15-2012, 09:33 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
349 posts, read 552,343 times
Reputation: 280
Thanks, Dragon... going to DM you.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-15-2012, 03:33 PM
 
Location: Austin
2,163 posts, read 2,961,136 times
Reputation: 2200
Quote:
Originally Posted by Paint It Pink View Post
Hi,

I really don't know where to begin.

I'm an only child, raised by my mom, but mostly my grandparents. My mom met her now husband when I was 7, hence the "mostly raised by grandparents" part. Anyways... I lived with mom and grandparents from the time I was born until a few months before my 14th birthday, when mom decided to move us into a house her now-husband had bought. Me and him did not get along. At all. I moved out and back into grandparents home two weeks before my 15th birthday.

Five years ago I met my boyfriend and we found a little place and lived there for 6 months. In those 6 months, we BOTH lost our jobs (I was laid off, he was fired) and my grandfather died. Devastated, and knowing I couldnt leave my grandmother alone, we moved back home and had the entire second apartment to ourselves.

In December of 2011 my gram passed. I was with it; it was sudden. Again, devastated beyond repair.

Since then my life has been on a fast paced downward spiral: my mom owns the house we live in, she's selling it and signing the 'official' papers at the end of this month. The boyfriend and I are breaking up- there's just nothing there anymore- and I'm facing alot all at once: moving to a place I can afford (yet in the ghetto, or) moving to a place with a complete stranger as a roommate. To complicate matters I have a dog and cat, and they will stay with me no matter what.

My mental health is failing.

I normally have a very positive, upbeat attitude- even after gram died (she was my life!) I remained positive. But not lately... I just can't see the silver lining any more. The house issue has me and mom at odds more so than ever- my relationship has utterly fallen apart, last night's arguement was the last straw- and I can't afford to live on my own. Theres no where left to turn.

I feel stranded. Deserted. Alone. Not looking for sympathy or encouraging words, I really just wanted to get this out, and get it out of my system. I'm at work and I'm completely nonfunctional as I barely slept, my eyes are so puffy I can hardly keep them open, and... obviously, there's a lot on my mind.

Sigh. I just dont know what direction to go. Keep the peace, stay with the boyfriend even though we can't STAND each other- but neither can afford to live on our own? Find a complete stranger to move in with, ditching all of my furniture and belongings? Live under a bridge with my dog as a blanket and the cat as a pillow? I wish life were easier.
People like to think they need to stay with a bad partner for fear of being alone. I hear it often. You can have a roommate instead. If this relationship is toxic, leave! It does not have to be all or nothing. There are countless options out there, but you need to allow for them.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-15-2012, 09:11 PM
 
Location: In a state of denial
1,289 posts, read 2,724,773 times
Reputation: 942
Craigslist is teaming with ads for those looking for room mates. Get one of those, you'll be better off.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-16-2012, 04:38 PM
 
56 posts, read 82,843 times
Reputation: 40
I understand if you don't get along with the boyfriend, but why don't you get along with your mom and your step dad?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-16-2012, 05:00 PM
 
Location: Kirkwood, DE and beautiful SXM!
12,054 posts, read 20,749,351 times
Reputation: 31776
Another suggestion would be that if your boyfriend is not abusive and you just don't get along any more, why not rent a 2-bedroom home or apartment and live as roommates. At least he is not a stranger. Both of you need to live somewhere and I would never suggest that you move back in with your mother and step-father. It is hard to find a place where you can bring your pets, and I applaud you for not abandoning them. You need them and they need you. Good luck to you.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-16-2012, 07:00 PM
 
13,051 posts, read 16,094,816 times
Reputation: 15249
Paint It Pink...If I was near you now I'd just wanna hug you...hang in there...and be proud that no matter what you WILL go on....sometimes, life can be very trying...very tough....but sometimes amazing things can come from it...glad you could get it out....it's nice to be able to do that I think.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-18-2012, 10:57 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
349 posts, read 552,343 times
Reputation: 280
Thanks, all.


I think we're going to go for the separate bedroom thing. It's a temporary fix but at least it's better than adding a ton of more stress to my already over-stressed mind (finding roommate, making sure my animals are ok with them, etc) and there's just not a chance of me ever abandoning my animals. It's a non-option.

Im trying to find some kind of balance. Life isn't easy right now.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Health and Wellness > Mental Health
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2020, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top