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That is interesting. Maybe if the family had learned to face reality, then the person who had the "accident" would have been better prepared to deal with life's difficulties and not avoid them?
A similar situation from a family member... He said his daughter had a "rare and new" mental disorder called "conversion disorder". Someone listening said; "That is nothing new. It is called Hysteria and has been well documented since the time of Freud"...
The family member then went off on a long diatribe denying his daughter had Hysteria - Was hysterical with his denials.
It's very common. It could be due to the family not being able to face or accept that it was suicide. It could be due to the guilt they feel, about possibly being responsible or being blamed (like the above comment could be seen as doing). It could be due to the family's religious beliefs, that a person who commits suicide isn't going to heaven. It could also be related to the religion's specific beliefs, like maybe the person could not be buried in a certain cemetery if it was a suicide. Some families or cultures see it as a source of shame, bringing shame or disgrace on the whole family, so they change the official story.
In the "old days" families could also get doctors and medical examiners to write "accident" as COD, but even today, even with rules being stricter, they are often persuaded to label a suicide an accident of the family wishes it.
Also, it's common (though I don't think a lot of people outside the mental health field know it) for suicide to "run in the family." When a person in distress knows that a family member has committed suicide in the past, they are more likely to add this to their menu of possible options. Perhaps the family are concerned that a niece, son, grandchild sometime in the future will follow in the deceased person's footsteps.
Last edited by Tracysherm; 01-24-2013 at 11:16 AM..
Sometimes it's way of relieving survivor guilt. People often feel guilty when someone commits suicide because they think they missed the symptoms, didn't try hard enough to stop the downward spiral that leads to suicide, didn't take the person seriously, etc.
Then in some cultures and religions, suicide is not accepted so people try to pretend it didn't happen.
On an even sadder note, some life insurance policies won't pay if the holder commits suicide within a certain period of time after taking out the policy.
So yes, not at all unusual for people to try to say a suicide was an accident.
Some times it's a gray area. A single-car fatal car crash- deliberate, or asleep at the wheel, or ice? An OD. On purpose? A lot of drug users come out of detox, have a lower tolerance, relapse, and die because their bodies are less accustomed to their "usual" drug use.
Concur with those who point out the stigma of suicide in families and communities. There's the religious aspect for some, of course. Also, in an old-fashioned way of thinking, someone from a family where a suicide has happened might not be considered to be from a "good" family, for purposes of marriage, or social acceptance, or comfort level with social involvement.
There's no doubt that the "running in families" aspect if all too true. It's one of the leading questions in assessing one's risk of committing suicide themselves. Parental suicide is the worst, I think, as suggested in a previous post.
It may be for financial reasons. I don't know how the person died, but if they had related hospital or medical charges, self inflicted injuries are excluded from coverage. The same applies to most life insurance payouts. There are usually suicide exclusions.
Yes, I think it's very common, maybe because the family feels shame that they couldn't help their loved one before it was too late...I think it's also easier when someone asks how she/he died, to just make up something, than to say it was suicide.
If you ever research genealogy, you can scan hundreds and hundreds of records and you will almost never find a cause of death listed as suicide, until starting in the latter half of the 20th Century.
Of course, this is statistically impossible.
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