What is Unspecified Depression, When will it go away? also having Anxiety and attention/self image issues! : ( (depressed, diet)

[TySky]

In all honesty Ive been getting help with my problems.

Last year 2012 in actually last February Ive felt awful mentally so I went to my regular doctor for a physical and I told him about what my problems were and so he told me to schedule an appointment with the behavioral doctor. At the time I was experiencing the following symptoms
Mentally:
Apathy just felt SOOO empty
Low Confidence
Low Self Esteem
Ive lost my interest Im really into Movies and kind of into acting but started to become less interested in
Worthless
Helpless
Negative Thinking
Isolated
Brain Fog
Thinking of death all the time and wondering kind of obsessed where do we go when we die
Thoughts of committing suicide after I came out to my parents in April 2010
Tired all the time I would still be tired if I have 10 hours of sleep
Unaware of my surroundings/in my own bubble
Self Image issues

Physical
Experience back pains time to time
Eating was off schedule Sometimes I wont eat most of the day and then would just sort of binge
Lack of energy
Tired all the time
Worried of my weight I use to weigh 210lbs at age 14 now Im 21 weighing 148lbs -150lbs thanks to the medication and a little bit of exercising but still not impress with my body.
Thought of loosing my weight would help with my self esteem intensely but just only a little bit.

My doctor told me that I do have depression but its Unspecified Depression, So he put me on some antidepressants Ive been on Bupropion since March 2012 to now.

So now Im feeling better but still experiencing some of the symptoms like the negative self talk low self esteem and self confidence. Still thinking about death but not alot as I use too


I do have anxiety to as well and suffered a panic attack in September that was my 3rd panic attack Ive ever had in my lifetime. I do also have issues with anxiety as well in social in situations.

Ive been to a psychotherapy but I quit going because my psychotherapist wasnt really listening to me he was always wanting to talk about my religion and not on my other feelings.

But also I feel like even though I dont like being the center of attention, because I get nervous in front of people, at the same time I would like to have attention at the same time so people would be interested in me. So I feel like I might have some type of problem for wanting attention I guess idk what it is
Like I was so self conscious about my looks I went on yahoo answers repeatedly to ask people if Im physically attractive yet when I had alot of positive feedback I still really didnt believe it. Like I felt like they were lying to me and being sarcastic. Ive never been in a relationship before sadly, I would like to be in one but Im terrified at the same time.

Also with all of this doesnt help with my ADD and mixed receptive/expressive language disorder!

[AnywhereElse]

Do you hold a job? Do you have hobbies? Do you go out socially? Have you considered volunteering and getting out into the community? It just seems like if you had something going on in your life in the way of activity that you could leave some of the preoccupation with your looks, etc. behind. People need to do something that gives them a sense of accomplishment. You need to have some sort of specific goals you are working toward in order to do that. You need to set a goal, small one to begin with, and work toward that and you'll gain confidence and it needs to be something you are pretty sure you can accomplish by putting in effort. You have so many years ahead of you. In short, it just seems like you have to much spare time to sit around and think. Get out there and do it! You get the best sleep when you have been physically active especially if you get fresh air so get outside and walk at least 40 minutes a day and longer if you have the time. Also, watch your diet and learn about healthy eating and you'll be surprised how much that will benefit you physically and mentally.

[Cliffie]

The depression will let up when you learn to manage the anxiety and enjoy your life a little. Depression is your nervous system getting completely worn out from years and years of anxiety.

[todd00]

I just read your other thread. So you are on Zoloft and Wellbutrin. Were you ever just on Zoloft? It made me tired and not want to do anything, though it didn't help my depression. Have they tweaked the dosage any? You said it helped some. Wellbutrin is usually one they use as an add on second med. Partly because its not one that makes most people sleepy and tired and they think it might counter act those symptoms in the first med they prescribe, which will likely have some side effect in that regard. While Wellbutrin doesn't normally make people tired, it can do that to some. I'm one of them, it knocks me out. Zoloft does have some sexual side effects, most of the AD's do.

The symptoms you have are pretty typical of someone with long term depression. Depression sucks the life out of ya. Little energy, not much appetite, a drugged and tired feeling from the meds. If you feel this doc isn't really taking the time to hear you then I would get another evaluation from a new doc. You need to find someone that takes the time to listen and do an in depth evaluation. Most docs are not much more than script writing machines. Your experience with the therapist is pretty typical as well. There are very few good ones, they are unique if they truly care and have a natural ability to relate to people and counsel them in times of difficulty. The other group are in it for the wrong reasons, pretty good money for not doing much. Sit and say uhuh, uhuh, and ya wonder if they even hear ya are they thinking of the fight with the wife, or the weekend trip, or when will this guys time finally be up. Thats the type I've had and really that just made me feel worse. No one likes to talk and feel they not only haven't a clue but also don't really care. Your's sounds like she is too interested in converting you and not concentrating on your problems.

I think a peer support group would be helpful too, ya know for the social anxiety. Most suffer with depression as well and don't feel so great about themselves. But they are trying and its nice to have people to talk with that understand. Why don't you try and call your local NAMI group and ask about support programs, and maybe about how to find a caring doc if you decide to get another opinion and possibly find a caring therapist. A referral from someone that is going to the person is the best way. So you need to try to see what you can do to get into some support groups locally and hopefully you can connect with a new counselor soon. Reading up on other possible meds alternatives on possible herbal remedies, can be helpful, though never mix the 2 together. The more ya know the better you can help yourself.

You didn't really mention hobbies and things like here, but you did mention that a bit in your other thread. Losing interest in things is common too with depression. Still do your best to keep your mind diverted with music and things you enjoy. I know its difficult, I live with this stuff too. There are some depression and social anxiety forums online. Daily Strength has a social anxiety forum and also a teen depression forum, I know you are older but often 20 somethings are in there as well as the regular depression forum. Were you on other meds for ADD before? Try not to obsess on things, its tough with anxiety not to do it and stress is part of depression. Wanting reassurance you are attractive is normal. You are lacking self esteem, you are just saying ya think I'm ok, cuz I'm not sure. And doesn't mean you are seeking attention, you were just asking for some honest opinions. No ones self esteem is very good when they are depressed. Where you are today doesn't mean this is where it will be forever. It's easy to forget that sometimes, but you remember that.

NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness | State & Local NAMIs

Online Support Groups - DailyStrength

[Glo85]

I want to say Thank you so much for posting this comment. You have given me 2 sources to help me with my depression. So thank you again for taking the time out of your day to respond back helpful information to someone in need of assistance.

[JanND]

And....I totally agree with Todd00...Very good insights.
I hope along w/ the medication that you are also seeing someone that you can counsel with on a weekly basis.

Depression can be biological and can be treated with medication successfully. Sounds like what you are experiencing are some issues that may be helped with talking and learning some coping skills and some behavior modifications.

Ask your current doctor about seeing a therapist that specializes in the symptoms you've described. Seek out a professional in your area by researching the specialist in your area.

I applaud you for recognizing that you needed help and got yourself to a Doctor. It takes a lot of strength going thru what you've described and following through to get help for yourself.

I wouldn't try to tackle everything at once...But, concentrate on the one thing...then tackle the next. I think self-confidence and reading and researching some helpful tips about confidence, then putting those to use would be a good start.

You may find that building your self confidence will go along way to helping all of your confidence symptoms. here are some links:
Self Confidence Tips - beat self consciousness
10 Ways to Instantly Build Self Confidence - Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement
63 Ways to Build Self-Confidence - Lifehack
How To Build Self Confidence