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I am loaded with family problems. i have been physically (child) and mentally abused (recently). its hard for me not to think about these problems even for 1/2 hour of my life. i hate thinking about it, but it just comes. even if im doing something fun, once i start to have thoughts then everything just sets back to reality. i dont enjoy anything in life now. I wish i can snap out of it but i cant.
i have quite a few people tell me that "life is short" and i know for a fact that once i go somewhere where i see people suffer worse than me, (such as slowly dying of an illness, cant walk because of a car accident) etc i know i will probably realize how lucky i am. the folks who tell me life is short, they do have a point, i know 1 day i will leave this earth, and thats when all the weight is off my shoulders, so i should enjoy every second that i have on this earth.
when im at work, its so easy for me to just mess up, even on the simplest things. I am pretty much 1 or maybe 2 at the most mess-ups away from being fired. all i think at work is my problems, and the more i think the more i just kill myself mentally, if i dont think about it i might wander around something else in my head, and it finally comes right back to the problem.
can you guys tell me or just teach me a lesson in life? i really dont want to think negative but its very hard not to, while i just know someone out there have it worse than me and i should just live my life happily. I think once i got to that stage i will enjoy everything better, food taste better, air is cleaner, and i actually look forward to things. I never felt like i belong anywhere for the past 15 years, never had a real "smile". I never enjoyed life in my lifetime, as i have been through tons of Sh*t since i was a child.
Life is not perfect, it's not fare, hardship is a way of seeing hidden optimism created through contrast, a way we can find even a morsels of gratitude and for there are for greater challenges that may await us. Beneath our masks we are all defined my nature as kids baring all the same abilities to wonder and manifest our dreams as we did back then. theough teachings of our society perhaps in most cases conditioned to adopt and trust our logic and astray from our childish imaginations.
In my generation we were told life has no limits, we can be anything we want, if we really believe in it, feel ans passion to peruse it and work hard. Each and every choice we will make along the walk of life will create a path, and open unforeseen, doors but life is random and will challenge us , perhaps hardship momentarily will jade us, the mistakes that we make force us to doubt the simpe belief that life has a happy ending, the ending we were promised.
The same fair tales still exist and will forever be retold for generations, they were created by dreamers and extend throughout thousands of cultures in past millennia, with the sole intention of allowing dreamers to dream and think beyond a box of a practical possibility. That we have choices. Physical and mental choices.
In the end, no matter if we lost a vision, dream, through conditioning, or momentarily.
We still have a choice, We are all still dreamers, and have the ability to dream again, weather it be a physical, mental or romantic ideal.
First we must understand and separate love and need, then embrace every part of each other, self love and acceptance.
Insecurities are often reflections o ourselves w e recognize in others, learne to identify them, and proactively all our flaws, ours and others imperfections, then continue to inspire and seak inspiration, be uplifted, up lift and encourage ourselfs and those that surround us. Those, its is my oppinion that impossible things, we aometimes see impossible, will ans can be reborn possible. Dreams. Friends, sometimes we, you, me and the people surrounding you need someone to as a reminder, to reengage, recognize and believe we have strength and courage to reclaim our potential in our darkest moments, everyone at some point in their own right and scare is left feeling weak and alone at our most venerable point.
My point, is im no stranger to these feelings, including myself i think no body s a hero, nor should bare the weight in a bid to act as one. For me, personally, I could never dream for more than that feeling being open about how i feel, with no-intention of receiving a solution, but the liberation I'm not faking, the release of finding a new poker face! Its exhausting, I whiteness it time and time again.
im everyday thankful to the people who continue to believe in me and a bright future. best of all, encourage my confidence as my driving force and the beat satisfaction is the feeling of knowing, that I'm the only one that can change my stride and paint a brighter pictureXx
Are you unable or unwilling to let go of the past?
There is the story of two Zen monks, Tanzan and Ekido, who went on a journey. They took nothing except for the robes and sandals they wore.
They had gone about halfway when they came to a river. Not a deep or fast river, but the spring rains had washed away the bridge, and there was not even a series of well-placed stones to walk on. So, crossing the river meant getting their feet wet.
Each monk took off his sandals, laced them together, and hung them around his neck, then each tied the ends of his robes around his waist.
They had not quite stepped in the water, though, when they heard a cry. Not a cry of alarm or danger, but a cry of great sadness and suffering. Tanzan and Ekido looked across the water to the other side of the river, and saw a woman. She was young and beautiful, and she wore embroidered silk robes. Underneath the edge of her gown peeked two tiny silk slippers.
Now, monks aren't supposed to have anything to do with women, lest they become attracted. It had been a long time since either Tanzan or Ekido had seen a woman.
So with the sight of the sorrowful young woman before them, the two monks waded across the river.
When the arrived at the far shore, Ekido strapped on his sandals, and started off down the path. Tanzan paused, though, and asked the woman what was the matter.
The woman was sad because she needed to get to the other side of the river. But finding the bridge washed away, she had no way to get across without spoiling her expensive clothes.
Ekido grunted impatiently, to signal to Tanzan that they must be on their way. But Tanzan felt compassion for the woman. He knelt down in the dust at her feet and said, "Lady, though I am unworthy of such a sweet burden, please climb upon my back and I will carry you across the river."
The woman gratefully climbed aboard the monk's broad back. When she was safely on the other side, Tanzan bowed low and turned to go. But the woman put a slim hand on his arm to stop him. She said, "Thank you for your kindness."
The monks walked in silence for several more hours. Finally they approached the monastery where they would stay the night, and Ekido couldn't restrain himself any longer. He turned to Tanzan and asked, "Why did you carry that woman across the river? You know monks aren't supposed to have anything to do with women."
Tanzan looked deep into Ekido's angry eyes and said, "I put the woman down hours ago. Why are you still carrying her?"
Taught my kids to ride their bikes. They fell down a few times. They hurt themselves on the foot petels. My daughter fell down and skinned her knee and arm. My son fell into some bushes and got hurt. After getting hurt a few times they stopped dwelling on it and took what they learned and are still riding their bikes. They learned from the lessons of falling down and now are good at that.
We all have problems and hopefully we learn from them. Our problems are not keeping us down. The memory of those problems does that all on its own. Time to learn from the problems and make new memories.
In a word or two- depression treatment. Amazing how you don't have to forcibly change your thought process when your biochemistry is more in order. Also, in the case of abuse in the past (which can lead to tolerating it in the present or future) talk therapy. Together they work very well. Best wishes.
Quote:
Originally Posted by civic94
I am loaded with family problems. i have been physically (child) and mentally abused (recently). its hard for me not to think about these problems even for 1/2 hour of my life. i hate thinking about it, but it just comes. even if im doing something fun, once i start to have thoughts then everything just sets back to reality. i dont enjoy anything in life now. I wish i can snap out of it but i cant.
i have quite a few people tell me that "life is short" and i know for a fact that once i go somewhere where i see people suffer worse than me, (such as slowly dying of an illness, cant walk because of a car accident) etc i know i will probably realize how lucky i am. the folks who tell me life is short, they do have a point, i know 1 day i will leave this earth, and thats when all the weight is off my shoulders, so i should enjoy every second that i have on this earth.
when im at work, its so easy for me to just mess up, even on the simplest things. I am pretty much 1 or maybe 2 at the most mess-ups away from being fired. all i think at work is my problems, and the more i think the more i just kill myself mentally, if i dont think about it i might wander around something else in my head, and it finally comes right back to the problem.
can you guys tell me or just teach me a lesson in life? i really dont want to think negative but its very hard not to, while i just know someone out there have it worse than me and i should just live my life happily. I think once i got to that stage i will enjoy everything better, food taste better, air is cleaner, and i actually look forward to things. I never felt like i belong anywhere for the past 15 years, never had a real "smile". I never enjoyed life in my lifetime, as i have been through tons of Sh*t since i was a child.
I am sorry for the abuse you have and continue to face. I also wonder why you stay in the current situation? Are you or have you been in therapy? Being abused can create a lot of trauma and working on that and the emotions it brings up is very important. In life there will always be someone worse off but that does not take away from the struggles you have. You deserve support and to be happy.
I understand not want to face or feeling certain things in life but in the long run to move forward you have to.
Hope you feel better
Because you were abused as a child, you developed maladaptive coping methods - which you continue to maintain, since you are in an emotionally abusive situation.
If you ever get suicidal, or for other type of emergency, I think meds are in order.
But ultimately, the cause came by incorrect thoughts & so correcting it at the root, will be correcting those thinking patterns.
Look through the different types of life traps (see link below "Schema Therapy"), to figure out which you have carried on from your childhood... Then, either with the help of a therapist or friend, or on your own - figure out ways to develop healthier thinking patterns which will help you feel and act better...
I hope the best for you and trust that things will get better for you.
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