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Eating for me is like going to the dentist....for a root canal...on your birthday!
I can't stand food. My refrigerator has ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise and water. My cabinets have crackers, tuna fish and peanut butter. There have been days where all I ate was a spoonful of peanut butter. Sometimes at work, I go out and grab a sandwich and it takes everything I have to eat half of it. Stouffers Macaroni and Cheese, single servings are the only thing in my freezer and it takes me two days to eat one of those. This basically started when my marriage went downhill. Now I am divorced with a new life, yet I still have this issue.
Eating disorders are hard to overcome. Please talk to your doctor and get some professional help. I don't think this is something you can fix by yourself. It sounds like you need some therapy to resolve issues remaining from your marital problems and divorce. Please get some help before you have serious health issues as a result of this.
If it's new, one *might* conclude it's due to life events & will remedy on its own (as you recover from change & loss).
If it's a problem you've *always* had, more or less, then it could be a sensory (processing/modulation/integration) disorder.
Sensory disorders go by many names, since they have yet to be codified in the DSM-5.
Basically, people over- or under- react to sensory stimuli (whether gustatory (taste/flavor), olfactory (smell), tactile (touch), etc.).
It's not as well-studied as some other diagnoses-but it's neurological in origin, not a choice nor an act.
A lot of the literature out there on the subject refers to children rather than adults, but still, any info. is better than none.
There are eating disorders and then there is disorder eating. The short version of the difference is that an eating disorder has little to do with food, food is the symptom, an eating disorder is a maladaptive coping skill, similar to using alcohol or drugs to "escape" .
Disorder eating is broad and can encompass a lot of causes. But typically is more about eating habits and the actual food.
However disordered eating can become a full blown eating disorder.
If you think you may have an eating disorder, I'd start with an appointment with my primary care physician and go from there.
Thank you for the replies. I've battled my weight my entire life. Developed at very young age and always self conscious. Not a lot of self esteem.
I can honestly say I've always had some issue with food. Last year, with the divorce, I drank more alcohol and it certainly killed my appetite resulting in weight loss. Right now, I'm the smallest I've ever been my entire adult life and now I'm almost terrified to eat.
WeHa - I really identify with your comment maladaptive coping skill. Cloven - Yes, I've had a lifelong issue with food. Thank you for the links. Knowledge is power.
I'm not sure where you're located but The National Eating Disorder Association NEDA has a fabulous website that can help you to find a Dr, therapist, eating disorder program etc....
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