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Holidays can be a tough time. People tend to spend this time, reviewing their lives, and comparing to what they think it should be, or become more critical with themselves. Maybe you are alone, or with someone, but not happy.
Come hang here. We can hang together until the New Year, and things will get better.
I will check in from time to time over the next few weeks. True, holiday times are sometimes tough, even hard to get through for some of us.
gbh
Quote:
Originally Posted by jasper12
Holidays can be a tough time. People tend to spend this time, reviewing their lives, and comparing to what they think it should be, or become more critical with themselves. Maybe you are alone, or with someone, but not happy.
Come hang here. We can hang together until the New Year, and things will get better.
Thanks for dropping in! I am going to be alone this year...again...my ex, bless his heart, is taking the kids on a cruise for Christmas...heck, Montana or the Bahamas? Pretty easy to guess the "winner".
I am not too social, I tend to hunker down this time of year...so...it is what it is...
I will get to see my daughter, which is the highlight of the holidays. She works and is in college, so she doesn't get much time off, though she's only about three hours away.
Other than that, I don't care much for the holidays now that my daughter is grown and I really have nothing to do. On Christmas itself I go to my mother's house.
I have a couple of friends who would have parties around the holidays and invite me, and I always went anticipating that I would have a good time and found myself driving home feeling very sad and left out. Finally I had a big DUH moment and realized that it was because I am always the only unattached person at these things. Even though I'm not particularly envious of some of the relationships that were in attendance, lol, I still stood out like a big overgrown sore thumb.
So, last year I just said NO. I am not going to any events anymore where everyone else is couples, and it feels really good not to go and not be in that position.
I've been trying to opt out of this holiday crap for years, but I always get sucked into "making the rounds" with my husband who still seems to get a big kick out of being the relative that everybody rolls their eyes and says "Oh here HE comes!" when they see him. I've gotten too old and my time is too precious to be trying to force people to accept me.
As for my family, since my Dad died in 2010 the whole thing has fallen apart since he was the one that had the strong family values. I'm sure he would be disappointed but that's the way it is.
I've always felt like the holidays were geared towards children, and I love to see them happy during this time of year. I think the holidays are a great opportunity for people who have children to show them the true meaning of being thankful and what it means to give, instead of the commercialized side of things. Unfortunately, I've observed adults acting more like spoiled children, almost having tantrums if they can't have their way.
If I had MY way, I'd just take off somewhere until January.
My favorite day of the year is Dec 26th because it is finally over.
Depression? or Frustration? I supposes the cumulative frustrations can make someone depressed: Mixing with relatives in caustic environments; missed expectations on presents purchased for others; pressure to buy; pressure to put on a joyous happy face.
"It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" is so ironic because it is actually the most stressful, most suicidal, most debt producing, most weight gaining, and most hurtful time of the year.
If I had MY way, I'd just take off somewhere until January.
Me too. I'm Jewish so I don't even celebrate Christmas but I'm surrounded by it for weeks on end and it's almost impossible to escape from it unless I want to become a hermit. Personally I think Christmas is over-commercialized and annoying and I'm glad I don't really have to do it, but there is pressure from other people to participate in Christmas. Christians every year ask me what I'm doing for Christmas...they know I'm Jewish...yet they act surprised when I tell them that I don't have a tree, I don't hang stockings on my mantle, I don't do any of that! I guess it doesn't help that some harried Jewish parents DO participate in Christmas somewhat. Some of them even go so far as to put up a tree. Ugh.
I understand your new holiday policy. At times it can feel more lonesome WITH people around than without...
do what you feel most comfortable doing...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801
I will get to see my daughter, which is the highlight of the holidays. She works and is in college, so she doesn't get much time off, though she's only about three hours away.
Other than that, I don't care much for the holidays now that my daughter is grown and I really have nothing to do. On Christmas itself I go to my mother's house.
I have a couple of friends who would have parties around the holidays and invite me, and I always went anticipating that I would have a good time and found myself driving home feeling very sad and left out. Finally I had a big DUH moment and realized that it was because I am always the only unattached person at these things. Even though I'm not particularly envious of some of the relationships that were in attendance, lol, I still stood out like a big overgrown sore thumb.
So, last year I just said NO. I am not going to any events anymore where everyone else is couples, and it feels really good not to go and not be in that position.
The yr I was divorced, a friend (also divorcing) and I went to the Cayman Islands over Christmas-
it was such a pleasure away from the commercialism & frantic rushing around...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mergatroyd
I've been trying to opt out of this holiday crap for years, but I always get sucked into "making the rounds" with my husband who still seems to get a big kick out of being the relative that everybody rolls their eyes and says "Oh here HE comes!" when they see him. I've gotten too old and my time is too precious to be trying to force people to accept me.
As for my family, since my Dad died in 2010 the whole thing has fallen apart since he was the one that had the strong family values. I'm sure he would be disappointed but that's the way it is.
I've always felt like the holidays were geared towards children, and I love to see them happy during this time of year. I think the holidays are a great opportunity for people who have children to show them the true meaning of being thankful and what it means to give, instead of the commercialized side of things. Unfortunately, I've observed adults acting more like spoiled children, almost having tantrums if they can't have their way.
If I had MY way, I'd just take off somewhere until January.
I like the commercial message of xmas. It detracts from the religious message.
An enemy of an enemy is my friend.
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gbh 
