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I really need some advice. I moved cross country 6 months ago. I had been in intensive therapy for 5 years with one therapist. It wasn't perfect, but it was very helpful. When I moved, I felt ready to move on, though. I honestly felt we had done all the work we could together and that I would find an equally qualified therapist that I clicked with as easily as my first who would have a different perspective and I could make further progress.
So back ground, I have severe PTSD from severe childhood abuse. I also have had PMDD (premenstrual dysphoric disorder). I was on SSRIs for 5 years, but went off them shortly after the move. Overall its been good, I had lost motivation and gained a lot of weight on them. I had been feeling more motivated and am losing some weight, so thats good. But this month is the first time I started having PMS again, verging on PMDD again. So I am worried it could come back full force in the next few months.
So I did online research and found a qualified therapist who specialized in what I had gone through. But we didn't click. She didn't respect my boundaries and pushed very hard, I would leave the office very destabilized. She also have some pretty "new age" ideas about things, and that really isn't my "thing". I gave it 8 sessions but then I just couldn't go back.
I picked a different female therapist, less qualified or specialized. I only saw her once. She was very, very nervous, nit picky and talked about herself a lot. She didn't feel healthy to me.
I waited a while and went to a male therapist. He was nice, older man. At first I thought it would be a good match. He was very cerebral, gave me lots of tips, respected my boundaries about what I was ready to talk about. That lasted 5 or so sessions. Then he got stuck on doing a specific therapy with me. I told him flat out I would consider it way down the road, but I wasn't ready. He didn't seem interested in why I felt that way and pushed it so hard. He literally talked at me for 2 full sessions trying to talk me into it, telling me the same success stories over and over (ones that didn't have anything to do with my history). I am just not going to pay to sit and be talked at. I also ran the type of therapy past my old therapist and she warned strongly against it in my case (she does it too, but didn't think I was a candidate and I trust her on that).
I had made an appointment with a psychiatrist, it took 3 months to get in...and then I missed it! Fate was against me that day (car broke down, did everything to get there in time but just couldn't).
Right now I am having a very hard time. Some of it is hormonal, I know that. But I am miserable. Anxious, flashbacks, dissociation, etc. I need to be seen by a therapist and a psychiatrist...but I feel kind of hopeless. Do I try for a therapist #4? There is a psychiatry/psychology center not far away and they do same day assessments but I feel weary about it...it feels like a factory. Do I give it a try or get back waiting the 3 months for my psychiatrist of choice? I feel like I can't keep trying new ones forever...and honestly, its a smaller city and they don't have a lot of mental health resources. Most of their therapists are masters level or lower...masters is fine, but I have had much better experience with PhD level therapists for my specific issues.
I know what I want in a therapist. I want things to unfold naturally...talk to them about current issues while working on past issues *as they come up*. It seems like all of them want to get right in and dig up all of the past at once. Thats too much for me. I tell them this from the first session and they ignore it.
I just need advice...even if I am being too picky or screwing this up myself. I am not seeing the situation clearly.
You are not being picky. If it doesn't work for you and you're not comfortable it's not going to benefit you. My advice:
1) yes, get back on the psychiatrist's schedule. You sound complicated (not a jab) and you need a doctor whose specialty is psychiatry.
2) you may have already done this, but ask your previous therapist for a recommendation for your area. If that hasn't worked, ask your general practitioner (get one if you haven't. You shouldn't be out there alone with no one to prescribe for you in a pinch.)
3). I don't know where you're located, but you may have to drive to the next biggest town to find someone. My daughter's psych told her when she was choosing a college, the farther you get away from larger cities, the more limited and lower quality your mental health treatment choices are.
Good luck to you. It sounds like you've had a tough row to hoe already. Please don't stop trying.
You are not being picky. If it doesn't work for you and you're not comfortable it's not going to benefit you. My advice:
1) yes, get back on the psychiatrist's schedule. You sound complicated (not a jab) and you need a doctor whose specialty is psychiatry.
2) you may have already done this, but ask your previous therapist for a recommendation for your area. If that hasn't worked, ask your general practitioner (get one if you haven't. You shouldn't be out there alone with no one to prescribe for you in a pinch.)
3). I don't know where you're located, but you may have to drive to the next biggest town to find someone. My daughter's psych told her when she was choosing a college, the farther you get away from larger cities, the more limited and lower quality your mental health treatment choices are.
Good luck to you. It sounds like you've had a tough row to hoe already. Please don't stop trying.
Thanks. Yeah, I'm complicated. I have phone interviewed a couple who told me I was too complicated for them. I think that is true about major cities. We are now an hour and a half from a major city and the quality and quantity is way less then when we lived in a big city (the one we left). In our last city, we accessed really high quality mental health care for various reasons and various family members over the years. We only really had one dud. I couldn't imagine driving that far to see a therapist. It actually wouldn't be feasible. My husband travels a good bit for work these days and I need to be in town in case something comes up with the kids.
I will call the psychiatrist and get back on the schedule. ITs a major medical clinic, they might refer me in house to a therapist. I will tell them I ran out of meds (which is why I went off) and maybe they can get me in sooner.
I do need to see a doctor. I got assigned to one but there was only a waiting list to get in. That was 6 months ago and they didn't call back and I didn't follow up. I have a bit of a doctor phobia. Well being the patient at least.
Ugh I called and they said they would have to get approval to see if they will let me reschedule because I was a no so. I was a late show, not a no show.
I'd point that out to them. I hate the strict rules some doctors have. It's okay if they're late, but no consideration is given to the patient.
I was also thinking--you said you live 1 1/2 hours from a bigger city and regular travel for that was impossible, maybe you could find a therapist who would do it by skype or phone after an initial meeting. Maybe check in in person every three months. I don't know, but there's got to be a way around your location.
Btw, good for you on the quick follow up with the psych.
Why don't you send a note to your past therapist, opaline the situation, and say you'd be very grateful if she could check around and come up with a few recommendations for you?
I'd point that out to them. I hate the strict rules some doctors have. It's okay if they're late, but no consideration is given to the patient.
I was also thinking--you said you live 1 1/2 hours from a bigger city and regular travel for that was impossible, maybe you could find a therapist who would do it by skype or phone after an initial meeting. Maybe check in in person every three months. I don't know, but there's got to be a way around your location.
Btw, good for you on the quick follow up with the psych.
Thats a good idea. Worth looking into. I could handle a Skype session. I will for sure look into it.
My husband has some pull in the organization I am trying to get an appointment for medication management. He is going to raise some hell and get me into psychiatrist. He hasn't been big on the whole topic until my PMS/mild PMDD has come back. Now he is ready to knock some heads together.
Why don't you send a note to your past therapist, opaline the situation, and say you'd be very grateful if she could check around and come up with a few recommendations for you?
We talked a lot about it prior to me leaving, and she just doesn't know anyone in the area. She said she was willing to phone interview a therapist for me if I need her to but did seem hesitant. She said it isn't a typical thing to do, so I haven't asked.
She did ask around if anyone of her close colleagues knew anyone good in the area and no one did. Its really cross country.
I would say, keep trying. Does it have to be someone who is licensed to dispense meds, or would you be happy with a person who will talk/listen?
In any event, you may need to go through a number of 'first visits,' but it's the only way to find someone who clicks with you.
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