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I have an older sister, who many times throughout my life has been there to help me, she was for all intents and purposes my safe place in a storm. Long story short, there was times that she needed me to be there to help her, and it hurts to say that I failed her on a few occasions (Not to make an excuse, but I was dealing with my own terrible drug addiction during those times, and even though I tried to be there, I failed, miserably). I have apologized and tried to repair our relationship, but havent made progress worth noting. She has a slew of mental health issues (PTSD, social anxiety, depression, chronic pain & boderline personality disorder just to name a few. She also had a brain tumor-non cancerous that messed up her pituitary gland) She is adamant that rebuilding our relationship is entirely on my shoulders since I am the one who screwed up. I want to have that relationship back, I love my sister so very much, but I dont know what to do. When I call her, she never answers, it will take her days to call or text back, if she gets back to me at all. It makes it harder as well, since she lives in another state (about 45 min to an hour away.) I cant just pop over to her house any ol time either, since she cannot handle surprise visits whatsoever. I want to have my sister back, I want to start a family soon and I want her to be a part of my children's lives. Does anyone know of any good books I could read on the subject of all this? Any advice would also be greatly appreciated!
Send her a nice note by snail mail and tell her you love her.
Drop by with a bottle of wine and a pizza...leave it on her step and ring her door bell...have a little note on the bottle saying how you miss her in your life.
If she don't like surprise visitors, don't visit......just leave her little signs that you're thinking of her
It may sound trifling, but lots of times it's the little things that mean the most
Good luck.
This is a great suggestion!
It appears that the damage has happened over time and will need time and trust to build a new relationship.
You and she have possibly changed during this time (especially if you are clean and sober.....CONGRATS!) so you need to establish a new relationship based on your healthy life style. She will need time to trust that you have changed and will be there.
Don't give up! Good Luck!
People with anxiety are smart. If you are just rebuilding the relationship to "rebuild the relationship" and not out of genuine love for another human who happens to be your sister, well, we will see it.
I am not saying that you do not love you sister, but sometimes our true intentions and love are hidden by our own desires.
people without anxiety are smart too.'
I can't see the OP bothering to want to "rebuild a relationship" unless there's some love involved as well.
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This is a great suggestion!
