Breaking things in relationships out of anger, is that normal? (emotional, deal)

[HappyFarm34]

A friend and I were having a discussion that it's normal for couples to lose their temper every now and then to break things in a heated argument. I was like its one thing to get mad and walk away to cool off. Breaking things is taking it a bit too far and wouldn't want it eventually escalated to physical abuse.

Growing up, I've seen my dad mad on rare occasions but never breaking anything

[hawaiiancoconut]

I could never understand why people would break things during an argument.

Breaking things cost money, Lol

[Ruth4Truth]

Originally Posted by hawaiiancoconut

I could never understand why people would breaking things during an argument.

Breaking things cost money, Lol

lol Good point. Yeah, what's the logic, there? Why would someone break their own stuff, especially expensive stuff? What does breaking stuff do for them? Help release anger? Create more noise, the better to intimidate the other person with? What's the purpose of it?

Anyway, OP, to answer your question, no, it's not normal. It sounds like it's normal for your friend; he must have grown up with a certain amount of chaos in the house, to reach adulthood thinking that excessive anger, and breaking stuff, are normal.

It sounds like somebody in his life (maybe him?) needs anger management counseling.

[rya96797]

breaking things out of rage means you lack self control. And the next step after breaking things may be assaulting your SO or family members. I've only had one ex that broke things and got physical with me. And she was undiagnosed BPD. It definitely is not normal.

[TabulaRasa]

Nope. It denotes poor ability to regulate emotion.

[kapikap]

breaking things is a sign of anger management issues, and emotional immaturity. the breaker of things is frustrated and does not know how to handle the situation, thus breaking it like a mad baby boy.

if you know the couple, offer to them to go get some couples counseling, to help them get some tools to learn how to act with each other. this is the pitfalls of no one showing couples the way to be happy and respectful.

breaking things happens 'cause someone could not just stay quiet, bombarding the aggressor with confusion. poking and pushing on buttons, that one obviously knows what bad things are going to happen. This should be a deal breaker in a relationship.

how many broken cellphones i have had in my days, because I was verbally attacked and had issues in my relationship. two confused people acting like friggen childish HS kids, not knowing the limits of anger and frustration. Two things changed it for me, counseling is one.

the other was looking at a man walking down the street, on his cell phone, screaming at probably was his SO on the other end. Carrying on, in public, for all to see, he had no self control or embarrassment from how he was acting. Like a pure raving lunatic. Reminded me of me! that image plays forever in my mind, stopping me in my tracks , when I feel I am losing control. Life is much better now.

[Anconnor89]

It is not healthy behavior obviously, but as others have said yes it can become more dangerous than that if left unaddressed. My father used to scream, throw/break things and then this escalated to physical abuse towards my mom. The problem was that he lived in denial about his problem, always blaming someone else for making him get to that level instead of taking responsibility for his own behavior. As long as the person is willing to admit their anger issues and wants to change, counseling and/or anger management is a great start

[MinivanDriver]

It makes you an immature brat.

[Inacitysomewhere]

Originally Posted by TabulaRasa

Nope. It denotes poor ability to regulate emotion.

It's also a potential indicator of abuse. It'd be an immediate dealbreaker for me.

[va_bank]

Breaking things out of anger has little to do with being or not being in a relationship.