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I feel like a monster. Small things trigger insane anger, resentment, and disgust in me. I have a hard time getting over small irrational thoughts.
For example, my girlfriend changed her hair color and I lost it. I felt so much anger, resentment towards her. Although I keep my outburst to myself, I let her know how much I disliked it and even though It’s been 5 months these intrusive thoughts about her hair keep coming back at random time and I have such a hard time letting go of my hatred of dyed hair. Another example is my girlfriends love for anime and D & D. They make me irrationally angry and resentful.
I feel like two sides are fighting in my head. One is telling me how irrational I am being, and the other side is full of hate. I cry because I want to be normal, most people wouldn’t react like I do over these small things. These examples pertain mainly to my relationship, but I have similar problems with friends and family.
I feel like something is wrong with me, but I don’t know what, I feel like I’m going crazy. I want to crawl out of my body and shut my brain off to make the hateful emotions go away. Everyone in my life knows I am kind, compassionate, loving and yet I turn into a monster over the smallest things. What’s wrong with me?
Bunny, is it possible you have OCD. A misunderstood aspect of OCD, is wanting to control everything in your environment (to protect yourself from surprise anxiety etc). Maybe changes in your environment (like an unexpected hair dye job) are setting your brain off (?)
Keep us posted..
Bunny, is it possible you have OCD. A misunderstood aspect of OCD, is wanting to control everything in your environment (to protect yourself from surprise anxiety etc). Maybe changes in your environment (like an unexpected hair dye job) are setting your brain off (?)
Keep us posted..
Hi Babe_Ruth,
I wanted to thank you because I believe you gave me the answer I was looking for. I believe I have Retroactive Jealousy OCD. I relate to everything about this disorder and I have made my therapist aware and will be looking more into it.
"I have a hard time getting over small irrational thoughts".
I am the same way.i think that is considered as ocd thoughts.
"I feel like two sides are fighting in my head."
I also can highly relate to this. i personally was diagnosed with anxiety a couple years ago.i am not sure if that is also part of what causes this
you arent alone i can forsure tell you that. sometimes i get so irrationally angry about something.part of me knows i need to calm down the other cant.im nor sure what that is
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