Understanding the Alcohol Brain (concurrent with early childhood trauma)

[pathrunner]

I'm glad to hear that. I think it will turn out well, since he has love, emotional support and age on his side.

In the case of my ex/friend, I too hope he finds happiness but it will not happen without treatment. Even then, I've watched a lot of videos by people who got into treatment for borderline personality Disorder and they do improve but the boogeyman is always present for a lot of them.

I think that paranoid schizophrenia does plays a part, along with the area he lives in. There is a lot of alcoholism, drugs, crime and mental illness in his area. A lot of people, especially the older people and his neighbors, are mentally ill from their own childhood trauma. He trusts no one. I called a friend of his whom he greatly respects to help him recently get some medication from the pharmacy because he had Covid. He wouldn't let the friend help him. He drove 35 miles to the pharmacy when he was feverish and partially delirious from the effects of Covid. Foolish. I learned that even that friendship goes through ups and downs because he will isolate himself from the friend, who is a very drama-free person.

He convinces himself that things are happening that aren't true, or just aren't happening at all. To add to the problem, sometimes his mentally ill neighbors will do things to goad him because of their own garbled brains. It's a no-win situation. He can either leave (which he won't) or he can wait until all the old folks die off and hope that there is far less drama. The problem is, without treatment he will simply create more drama.

[Lodestar]

The neuropsychology of recovery from alcoholism is a relatively new discipline and knowledge continues to grow at a record pace so there is much that isn't known. People more familiar with this area say that new neural pathways can replace the old, well-tread, but damaged paths. I think this may be done with a course of psychoactive prescription drugs and counseling.

At its simplest I'd define it as learning how to think with positivity.

It requires a recognition of the problem and a dedication to the time and effort it takes to heal. When it comes to recovery people are over the map. Some people consider sobriety to be sufficient. Others pursue a program of psychological healing from childhood trauma. Another group may use a spiritual based support group. I'd say the key to success is defined with how much quality of life a person feels they have after they quite using. It may be decades in the making but can become a satisfying lifestyle.

As a mood-altering chemical alcohol, a Central Nervous System Depressant, has that effect on both body functions and mood. It's a bit of a trickster this way in that initially it makes the user feel elevated but post-use can have a depressive effect. Over time the user's general mood moves increasingly in that direction. It is this general negative attitude (there are psychological and neurological reasons for it) that can make a room full of sober, but not recovering, alcoholics an unpleasant place to be. This is why some recovery programs emphasize personal growth in conjunction with sobriety.

Haven't even answered your questions, have I? Hard to say as everyone is different. Sometimes there are obstacles too great to surmount but people still manage to stay sober.

Hard to say without meeting your friend but perhaps he is dissociating. "The American Psychological Association (APA) defines dissociation as 'a defense mechanism in which conflicting impulses are kept apart or threatening ideas and feelings are separated from the rest of the psyche.'"

Maybe it protects him from thoughts and behavior which would be more damaging. Maybe not. I tread lightly when I see what looks like dissociation. It's sort of the bottom line of denial. You know, "when you get to the end of your rope and just tie a knot and hang on for dear life."

Wouldn't it take a skilled neuropsychiatrist trained in addiction and several sessions to sort this out? And if he doesn't present with some solid sobriety and willingness the results wouldn't be useful I would think.

I'm in thought of people who say, "I just want to get back to where I was before I started using." My usually unspoken thought regarding that is, Really? Before you were using you were on the path to becoming a habitual user."

Edited to add: Over the years I've lost many, many relatives and friends to addiction. Being a support person for an addict is hard work and as you say, requires careful thought, an understanding of the condition and boundaries chiseled in stone.

For many I've kept the door a peek open just in case. My thought is if there is no one who cares who will be there if they genuinely need help? And usually they die rather than change. It's a wretched illness. A monster more powerful than love when it's got its teeth sunk in.

You don't fight it; you stand by with hope.

[pathrunner]

Very interesting. He started drinking at age 5. Like I said, a lot of alcoholism and dysfunction in his tiny rural hometown. As time went on, I think it also had to do with self-medication. Then as a young adult, it was working for bigtime drug dealers in the well-to-do area fairly close by (horses). That's yet another reason not to trust. Trust a drug dealer? No, but when there's work you take it, even if it comes from a corrupt and dangerous source. When we met, he soon had an episode wherein he thought that I'd been sent as a spy "from them" - people he's had trouble with in the past. A lot of that trouble was created by him. The rest of it was their reactions to him. And sometimes it was created by them because some of them have the same problems. There is a lot of turnover in law enforcement in his area. Just too much dysfunction that normal people don't want to deal with.

A person has to be willing to acknowledge that there is a problem, and want to do something about it. This is something that broke us up (on top of a myriad other things). The problem is always "out there" - the evil world, politicians, family, neighbors... anything to avoid dealing with the problem. He has adamantly stated that he is not mentally ill. But over time, I realized that he is. He is in love with the "idea" of things, but not the actual things. It's very frustrating to see someone who wants something but there's an almost visible wall that others can see but they can't, because in many cases they simply refuse to.

That's a curious thing, the reality of dissociation and sorting out whether it's a damaged brain or psychological trauma. I think in his case it's both. I'd love to get him to a neuropsychiatrist, but that's many miles away and likely not covered by his insurance.