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My friends and I go out and, on purpose, look for the worst stinking films we can find and watch them - taking a MST3K bent to it all. Sometimes we nail one - finding a terrible movie that becomes hilarious as we make fun of it. Other times though there is no saving the movie we have so rented. We've been doing this for years now - here's some of the best of the worst:
(1) Terror Toons. Do you know when people ask you 'on a rating of 1 to 10 what would you give this movie'? This is the 1. This is the worst movie - you are able to judge all other movies based upon this one because this had no redeming factors whatsoever in it. It was not funny, it was not scary, it was just bad. Bad bad bad! The only thing you will gain is knowing what the '1' is and how every movie you watch from that day forward is a better movie then Terror Toons. There is terrible acting, people can not remember their characters name, obviously fake creatures - and the plot? The devil just wants some respect and wanted to release a movie straight to DVD. Well folks - this is it, this is hell on a disk!
(2) Quest for the Mighty Sword. This movie was so bad that it becomes funny - it goes 'through' bad to awesome because of how low budget it was, and how epic it was in it's story. Sure - the mighty sword is found in the first 20 minutes of the film and then you have another hour of forgotten lines, terrible creatures and random plot - but the movie delivers. Bad bad movie, but awesome because of how bad it was. It's hard to rate this one - because of how funny it is (although it should be a 2 I give it a 4 for effort).
(3) Skinned Deep. OMG this was so bad. A guy with a giant exposed brain who ran naked through Timesquare. Warrick Davis as a plate throwing philosopher, a muscle guy without a head wearing dynamite near his man part. So bad, so terrible - but it had it's moments where it was funny. A 2 on a 1-10 definitely.
(4) Ax 'Em. This is a 'blacksploitation' movie and it is so wrong. It never should have made it to DVD - but it had it's cute parts. Still the plot made no sense, the camera had to be someone's hand held, and the acting was just... so bad. So bad! Another 2 - but they tried their hardest to make something work... we're just not sure what that something is. Oh - and the white guy dies first too. AWESOME!
(5) Subhuman. I have a bad habit that when it is my turn to pick out a movie I get the boring ones. This one had some really interesting plot but all they did was explain it. There was maybe 2 minutes of action and 78 minutes of talking! Argh, a documentary about worms that live inside humans and devour their minds! For real? BORING! At least the worm part was exciting for the 2 minutes we saw it - thus making it better then Terror Toons. A '2' on a 1 - 10.
There's others - too many to count - but the above are some of the worst I've seen (although some I'd find an excuse to watch again, espcially the Mighy Sword one).
(4) Ax 'Em. This is a 'blacksploitation' movie and it is so wrong. It never should have made it to DVD - but it had it's cute parts. Still the plot made no sense, the camera had to be someone's hand held, and the acting was just... so bad. So bad! Another 2 - but they tried their hardest to make something work... we're just not sure what that something is. Oh - and the white guy dies first too. AWESOME!
Ahh, I see someone else did sit through this dreck. Don't forget how awful the audio was on the DVD. And the fact that the writer/director dedicated it to his grandmother!
"Sky Bandits!" a movie so bad that it could really be a campy classic and I'd like to see it again. There was a rumor George Lucas was behind its production and is sitting on it to keep it lost.
" Dune" I just had major problems with the way they narrated it. It wasn't that bad but was too british to be really good sci fi.
"Shawn of the Dead" lame and boring and its already a genre thats been done to death( pun intended).
If zombies ever do attack, britain would be the first to fall with absolutely no survivors. No guns in britain. No guns means no shooting zombies.
Haven't seen it myself but one of my friends made the mistake of renting "What's The Worst That Could Happen" and had to sit through howls of derision and shouts of "What's the worst that could happen if you went to the video store to rent a movie?!!!!!!!!! Oh, you'd choose THIS one!!!!!!!" from all his friends as they watched it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Apparently it was the worst movie any of them had ever had to sit through!!!!!!!!!
"Shawn of the Dead" lame and boring and its already a genre thats been done to death( pun intended).
If zombies ever do attack, britain would be the first to fall with absolutely no survivors. No guns in britain. No guns means no shooting zombies.
Ha! If that's one of the "absolutely worst movies" you've ever seen, you need to expand your horizons. There are many, many, much, much worse movies than this!
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