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Ok...imagine this scenario: You are new to the neighborhood, but so are all of your neighbors, as it is a new development. One balmy evening you see the newest arrival working in his front yard by the light of his vehicle headlights. You have a nice 500watt stand light and you amble over to offer its use by way of an introduction and as a way to establish nice, neighborly relations. Your new neighbor snubs your offer and seems to want to have nothing to do with you. You try to make some more small talk, but it's no use; your presence is clearly unwelcome. You try to brush it off by telling yourself that maybe they are shy or uncomfortable with your frank offer to help out. But a few days later you witness your new neighbors getting to know their immediate neighbors next door them and everything looks quite chummy. Since that time, almost 5 years ago, I still do not know these particular neighbors. They frequently do not even wave back when I go by. Yet they have become very tight with the four houses immediately to the east of their house. We are just 2 more houses down, but not an actual part of the cul-de-sac that they live in. Can't fathom it, but c'est la vie.
This is the kind of neighborhood I do not want to live in. I have read in many places that New England is by and large a friendly place where neighbors help each other out and frequently go out of their way to do so. Do I have the right impression? Comments, thoughts, info? I really want to live somewhere that I can feel comfortable approaching my neighbors. I have always been in the custom of taking some freshly baked goody to a new arrival in my neighborhood. I have done that since I was a child and old enough to carry what my mom made over to the new arrivals without dropping it. When I have done that here I have met with warriness and standoffish behavior. It makes me not want to do it anymore. And, believe me, it isn't exactly easy for me, as I am prone to being quite shy and awkward at introducing myself. But if I don't try, I can never hope to improve or meet my neighbors. What do you think the reaction would be if I did this in New Hampshire? Are there even people who do this anymore to welcome a new neighbor?
Finally, can someone tell me the differences between private sewers, public sewers, public water, private water, etc? Also, I have lived in a home (but only when I was younger, so this was not really a concern to me) where we had a septic tank. We never had a leach field, though. I don't remember the tank being much of a problem, but once a year someone would have to come out and Rooter the main toilet. Only once in the 5 years that we lived in that house did we have to have the tank opened up. Not sure what they did, but it sure did stink!! How much trouble to septic tanks give out there, given the freeze/thaw cycles that they are exposed to?
Long post! Sorry, guys. I sure would appreciate your input on my musings, though.
Oh, and we are no longer just 'considering' the move. It was not hard to talk DH into it, once he saw that there are jobs in his field out there. The move is in the early planning stages. If all goes according to Hoyle, DH will be the advanced guard and go out there at the start of next June. I will stay with my mom while he finds work and then I will pack up the rest of the brood and move on out in early November. It is a year away, but as long as I know we are going, I'm happy. I only hope I can keep from driving DH crazy with constant talk about NH and New England in general!
all places have good and bad neighbours well most anyway
I've lived here in this nice quiet town for a few years but the house owner next door has moved and now rented out the house, well the renters are horrible, loud music all hours, cars pulling up then staying for a few mi9nutes then leaving at all hours inthe morning
the bass on the music is horrible, they call each other the n word and now my kid came in asked what it was.
the couple don't work, but have 3 cars one being a mercedes, and a motorcycle
so all the other neighbours would love to know how they can afford to rent the house, have these three nice cars, motorcycle, a crotch rocket one and they had all their furniture brought in from a rental place
you sound like my perfect neighbour would you like to move next to me
Sure...just let us know when your current rental neighbors move out! Blah...how aweful they sound. If they were out here I would have a few good guesses as to how they could afford it...none of 'em legal. We had a family like that move in across the greenbelt. The parents let their brats ride quads all over the landscaping and through the playing field (all of which our HOA fees pay for). I am a non-confrontational gal, but I was so riled up I actually wrote a letter to the homeowner and the HOA. The family moved out a few months later. What a relief.
SabrinaAne, When a water or sewer is considered public it means that your water is supplied by a municipal system such as "city water" and your waste water is removed via a municipal sewer pipe and off to the treatment plant it goes. When your systems are considered private, it means your domestic drinking water comes from "your" well and the house waste water enters "your" septic tank to hold the solids and the waste water heads off to "your" leach bed. There are variations to this such as "associations" but, over all, up here in NH that's pretty much what the designation means. Hope this helps.
Last edited by jthibodeau; 09-27-2007 at 05:36 PM..
Reason: added additional information
I have always been in the custom of taking some freshly baked goody to a new arrival in my neighborhood.
You are very sweet and you seem to be taking this too hard on yourself. You know what, make a batch of your best chocolate chip cookies, pick a nice fall day when you know they will be home and try again. Say to them "I don't know you very well and I would like to extend this as a gesture of friendship. We have been neighbors a while and I would like to get to know you. I hope you like these homemade cookies that I baked." Then just stop talking and let them make the next move. If they are receptive, they will invite you in or engage in converstation. If not, smile, thank them for their time, leave the cookies, and hum a sweet tune to yourself as you walk away holding your head up high. You can only do so much to make people like you. Not everyone will. Even if they shun you, never stop waving and smiling as they pass you by on the street. At least, in your mind, you did nothing wrong and you tried your best. That's all. Good luck!!
Thanks, jthibodeau...good to know. Any comments on the plusses or minusses associated with either set-up?
It's really not a question of plus and minus. If you reside in a city or larger town, odds are you'll have a public sewer and water supply. You'll pay the monthly rates and/or taxes for the operation and maintenance performed by the municipality. As you move further into less urban areas, the need for a well and/or septic system becomes your only other choice. The up front cost are heavy if your building but, If your systems are treated well and maintained, they should last upwards of 20 years or more with no monthly bill from city hall. It really depends on where you care to reside.
SabrinaAna, you sound like a warm and friendly person, and I would love to have had a neighbor bring some fresh baked goods (even stale store-bought things are great when you're trying to move in and can't find your plates, cooking utensils and everyone's hungry. Stop beating yourself up over it, you just can't please everyone... I like bryfry's approach, one "last ditch effort" and if they are still lukewarm, then they're the ones who are missing out. You're leaving there and coming to NH anyway, right? You can be my neighbor and bring baked goods anytime
hello remember-Voltaire; sounds like your rental neighbors may be selling something at the rental house. I had neighbors once like that in the south and they were selling bootleg alcohol. Maybe your neighbors are selling AVON or some kind of home cleaning supplies?
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