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We are a young white collar family who moved from Cherry Hill, NJ to The Outer Banks around 5 years ago. We were tired of the traffic, attitude, and small property lots in NJ. We also wanted to live near the beach, further our careers, etc.
I'm posting here because while I live in NC, we have not really assimilated very well and I need to know if I'm overreacting....who better to ask than my fellow NJers?
We had a difficult time finding a non-religious daycare for our child. We finally found one that received state funding (which we thought meant they had to be non denomonational) wasn't in a church, and had no mention of religion on their website or on the classroom walls. Our son attended for around 6 months. Recently he came home and blessed his lunch. We were extremely upset and we were told that as a private business they can do what they like (by the preschool admin) despite receiving government funding. I was also told that a little religion never hurt anyone.
My wife and I are extremely upset by this. We had planned on moving in 2 years to further our careers. That being said, the only preschools that accept families above the poverty line locally are religious preschools and our son is set to start in September at a Presbyterian church. We had thought we could live with a small amount of religion for a year before public school but this has shown us that we can not. It has also shown us that in public school, religion has seeped in and arguing against it would be an unwinnable fight.
My wife is 6 mos pregnant, we might break-even on our house (less our down payment) but may lose money with realtor fees. We are strongly considering moving despite those factors. Finding another job is very easy so that is a non factor (in fact we will make significantly more in another area).
I'd like opinions on if this is an overreaction. My wife is a non-temple-going Jew. We do practice most of the holidays and celebrations more for tradition and less for the religious aspects (although in Judiasm they can be one in the same). We are generally against teaching original sin, worship, shame, etc to our children.
Please! Without arguing the merits of each individual religion, can some level headed individuals please let me know their thoughts? If you are Christian, imagine if your child came home and was told that the world was not created in 7 days or that Jesus was not god's son. If you are a Muslim, imagine if they came home and said a prayer for the holy trinity. What would be your reaction? Would you feel that your child had been violated? Would you move to find an area more inline with your beliefs?
My reaction would be that my child is learning about the various religions this world has to offer. Take your secularism to Europe if you want no signs of religion anywhere. Give me a break. I bet if he came home saying that Joe and John should marry you'd have no problem with that.
Unless that religion your child is being exposed to preaches terror, violence, and suicide bombings, I don't see why there's any problem with it.
It's not a horrible thing to be taught to love your neighbor & be thankful for your food and other blessings in life, and that sounds like the extent of it.
I completely agree, OP. We have raised our kids with a consistent religious part of their lives, but do not look for that from their schools. Many people like that and choose religious schools for their kids and that's a fine choice. But it sounds like you've moved toward the bible belt and religion seeps into more elements of daily life. I wouldn't like that either and it's frankly kept me from seriously considering a relocation south of VA.
Unless that religion your child is being exposed to preaches terror, violence, and suicide bombings, I don't see why there's any problem with it.
It's not a horrible thing to be taught to love your neighbor & be thankful for your food and other blessings in life, and that sounds like the extent of it.
Ugh. This is the kind of thing I wanted to avoid. A simple, "you're overreacting" would have sufficed.
I'm going to answer briefly and try to avoid encouraging this type of reply. I might suggest another post if you have further opinions on misplaced secularism and your opposing opinion to the first amendment. My tax dollars pay for a program, I would prefer that it not have religious over or under tones. I'm granted that right in the constitution.
Learning about religion is important. This is not a module on Hinduism, a module on Christianity, etc. this is, "Jesus died for you and his father is your lord and savior. Period." I hope most people can see the difference.
Moving on....
Quote:
Originally Posted by RUskoolie
My reaction would be that my child is learning about the various religions this world has to offer. Take your secularism to Europe if you want no signs of religion anywhere. Give me a break. I bet if he came home saying that Joe and John should marry you'd have no problem with that.
No, nothing specific. Just something radical.
I am very versed in the major religions of the world, and know quite well that not one of them endorses such extremes.
It is everyone's (including my son's) right to find and define their own sense of spirituality. It is my job to make sure it is respectful, thoughtful, and hopefully peaceful. That being said, at 3 he is unable to rationally look at all forms of spirituality and determine his own path. The best solution (in my mind) is to teach him to be kind and generous until such time as he has a better view of the world and history to make his own decisions.
Quote:
Originally Posted by HeatherLynn822
Unless that religion your child is being exposed to preaches terror, violence, and suicide bombings, I don't see why there's any problem with it.
It's not a horrible thing to be taught to love your neighbor & be thankful for your food and other blessings in life, and that sounds like the extent of it.
We are going to talk about it some more. Looks like we are moving back up north (in my mind).
A few details- we moved her under the belief that it was mostly NE transplants retiring. Not the case. Itis in the Bible Belt. We made a mistake.
As I read everyone's posts the overall theme is everyone has a right to choose how and when their child is exposed to religion. This country is more about majority rule and less about constitutional rights at this point and I think our best solution is to go somewhere with greater diversity to once again be in the local majority.
As for movi back to NJ....if you can fix it so I don't end up spending $15k a year on Property Taxes I'm in.
I'm not responding anymore as I've made my mind up. If you continue to chat, please be constructive and try not to make angry or stern blanket statements. Really think about how important religion is to you and how you would feel if someone was forcing their's onto your child- especially without your knowledge.
It is everyone's (including my son's) right to find and define their own sense of spirituality. It is my job to make sure it is respectful, thoughtful, and hopefully peaceful. That being said, at 3 he is unable to rationally look at all forms of spirituality and determine his own path. The best solution (in my mind) is to teach him to be kind and generous until such time as he has a better view of the world and history to make his own decisions.
From what you described, it does not sound like he is being exposed to anything in depth. They are not teaching commandments or tableaus..... or anything from the bible or koran or torah. Until that point, I don't see the harm in the basic principles you DID mention, like being thankful for food. That's a pretty universal concept, not specific to any one religion like the other things I mentioned. Therefore I maintain, "whats the harm" and respectfully do think you are over reacting. (And only because you asked.)
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