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Let's try like this. I have some towns in mind but I need "fresh pair of eyes". Also, searching on Long Island but starter homes in some towns I prefer are 650k+ with less than 5000 sqft lots.
Where are you coming from? NYC, but moved few years ago from Europe.
Why are you moving? We need yard and more space for children.
Where will you be working ? If NYC, what part of NYC? Midtown, NYC
Will you buy or rent? Buy.
What is your budget ? Well, we can go probably around 600-650k BUT I would like to buy house for 400-450k and remodel to suit our needs. New kitchen and baths, and addition if needed.
What kind of place are you looking for ? Large lot is a must (above 8-9000 sqft). Walkable to train station. Under 1 hour commute (train ride), lots of activities for children. Ideally, taxes below 12k
Will anyone (spouse, children, pets) be moving with you ? Spouse, two children (2 and 4 yr old).
Do you need/want good public schools? Yes.
Briefly describe the kind of neighborhood you'd like to live in
(examples: families with young children, young, mature, artsy, diverse, safe, close-knit, block parties, etc)
I need fresh air Would love to have bike trails nearby, down to earth neighbors, place where people will welcome us although we are not native english speakers.
List three things that are important to you in order of importance.(examples: nightlife, outdoor activities, rural/urban, safety, downtown area, charming, new construction, proximity to XYZ, family oriented, easy parking, short commute, etc)
Pasirpanjang is right, that's really your best option for what you want. If you want more safety and lower taxes your commute is going to increase. Bernardsville has what you want but your commute will be longer for example.
I live in South Orange. While there is a certain amount of opportunistic property crime, it's hard to see where one would get the idea that it is particularly dangerous/unsafe. Looking at a web site to compare crime rates both violent and property crime rates are lower than in Manhattan or Brooklyn.
The reality is that if you lock your house and car (and don't leave anything enticing like a wallet on your front seat overnight) the chance of anything happening is greatly diminished.
We're really happy so far that we moved here to raise our kid. A large portion of town are ex-urbanites, so it's a great place for city people to move.
Yeah, a lot of the places people are going to mention are going to have super low crime rates. In our town (which is slightly over an hour for the commute) the biggest crime wave we've had recently was the car wash in town was stealing change from people's ashtrays.
Does Maplewood have such large yards at that price though?
Well, 8K sq ft isn't super huge. We did look at one house that backed the train tracks that had a 20K sq foot lot. The house we're in has a 6.K sq foot lot, we have some neighbors on our street across from us that have a tad deeper back yard and are on a 9K square foot lot. It's a little deeper than average, but not anything that would strike you as crazy large. So it's not impossible. (Also, as you look your requirements intersect with reality and change, I know for us they certainly did. What we ended up in was a long way away from where we originally started looking!)
For what you are looking for, I would recommend River Edge, Oradell, Emerson and Westwood. All these are very nice safe towns along two forms of NJ Tranist transportation into NYC - the Pascack Valley train line and the 165 express bus into NYC. The train is a nicer ride, but the bus is faster as it goes directly into NYC. With the train, you need to transfer in Secaucus.
You can find a house in all the above towns in the $400-450K range. Taxes at that level will be at around your limit. Taxes will be high anywhere within a reasonable commute into NYC. This includes not only NJ, but Westchester and Long Island as well.
Walkable conveniences will depend on where within each town you are. There is a very nice multi-use trail (Saddle River County Park) with 15 miles of paved trails for walking and biking, though from the above towns, you will need to drive there:
The trails go through the towns of Fair Lawn, Glen Rock, Paramus, Ridgewood, Rochelle Park and Saddle Brook. All decent towns, some better than others. Fair Lawn, Glen Rock and Ridgewood are the only ones that have a train line though them. Fair Lawn is not as nice as Glen Rock or Ridgewood. Taxes and housing prices are proportional. Not sure about bus transportation there.
One important thing to note. If for some reason, you need to drive to the train station, many of the stations allow parking only for the town's own residents.
Taxes are insane over there, and safety? I really need "no-crime" area. I want to feel comfortable staying at home alone day/ night.
Maplewood and South Orange is a more densely populated area than you are probably looking for. Much less land for what you will pay than in Bergen County. Houses looks cramped.
That being said, crime isn't bad there. It's Orange and East Orange that are the high crime areas.
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Would love to have bike trails nearby, down to earth neighbors, place where people will welcome us although we are not native english speakers. 
