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Hello, everybody..
Yes, we want to buy a house and already started looking. But the problem is that I am not sure that we are doing the right thing.
We all know that NJ is great place to raise kids..great schools, backyard, better life style etc. Well, you are aware of those things and why we are moving there..
But every time I talk to my working mom friends from suburbs, I come home depressed and still thinking if we are doing the right thing moving to NJ.
They all tell me that I will be misarable. I need to mention that I am avoiding to have a nanny. Kids will go to day care. So I will never see them;we (parents) will be always rushing to try to make it on the train / bus so we pick them up on time. The real problem will come when they are in school and we will need to help with homework, activities etc - i am not aware of everything at this point.
We live in Brooklyn now so there are plenty playgrounds where always a lot of kids. In NJ, there are no places like that (tell me if I am wrong). I mean there are playgrounds, but not many kids there. I will need to arrange the play date.
We live in Brooklyn now. My mom lives close. We do not ask her to help with kids, but sometimes we use her. In NJ, we will have nobody.
I will not be staying home mom because of different reasons.
So saying all that, I am still not sure if I am doing the right thing. I know that we will adjust somehow, but I do not want to suffer..
Sorry, but I thought to share this..maybe there are more people in my shoes
Cheers,
That's part of the reason we moved. We saw long term the ramifications of not being able to financially afford having a stay at home parent, so we bolted. We were both working 5 days a week, not being able to see our infant children, except for at home a few hours during the evening. If you have children, the least you owe to them is to be able to raise them, instead of having a day care facility do it (I know, many have varying opinions on this subject), so we made the decision to go west. It was painstaking, but looking back now, logically, it was the right decision.
We are living here with our 2 year old, and I'm not miserable . My daughter is thriving in her daycare, we love the woman who cares for her while we work, and we are doing fine with the arrangement. Right now, I do work outside the home, but will be working from home once I have our second child in June. If my job paid well enough, I would bring my second child to the same daycare provider and would continue to work outside of the home. And we have minimal assistance from family members as well. We're very happy with our situation and I don't think it's impossible to be so.
Very similar situation to mine. One kid is 16 months old and another is coming in July / August. We will send both to day care - I know it is very expensive...probably more expensive then having a nanny, but that is my choice for now. I cannot work from home; plus even if I can, I do not believe in effective work while kids are running around
i would love to have someone who can pick them up from day care and stay a couple of hours with them while we will come home. I heard that in suburbs it is very difficult to find a person who will do it.
This is tough. We live in NJ and our family IS near by and we DO use them and they use us. We help out each other ALL THE TIME. By moving away from Brooklyn you're moving from somewhere expensive with family help to somewhere expensive without help. If our family were not here we would not be here.
Quote:
I will not be staying home mom because of different reasons.
You have to look at your sanity. Most of my friends are working mothers. The children are cared for either by a nanny or they go to daycare; and all are very happy.
I can tell you I would go mad if I were a SAHM. I admire the women that do it; it is the hardest job you can have. I love working, and am a better mother for it. My kids went to daycare and absolutely loved it. My daughter couldn't wait to go in every day she had so much fun.
This is tough. We live in NJ and our family IS near by and we DO use them and they use us. We help out each other ALL THE TIME. By moving away from Brooklyn you're moving from somewhere expensive with family help to somewhere expensive without help. If our family were not here we would not be here.
Why are you not staying at home... money or what?
Well, different reasons. The first one is that I am not that kind of person that will stay home with kids the whole day. I love kids, but I need to do smth for myself and the world - you can laugh. I got an education and I am better of working and using my brain somewhere else. For me it is not quantity but quality of time spending with kids.
Second, that's the way I was raised. I need to rely only on myself. I have a great husband, but I do not believe in tales " that man is so great that he will never leave you". Plus, looks how many accidents are around. No, I have to work.
Then., money..yes..with one income we will not be abel to live in NJ.
Another thing is that my son loved the day care he gows right now.
why are you moving? You seem pretty happy where you are.
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. My daughter is thriving in her daycare, we love the woman who cares for her while we work, and we are doing fine with the arrangement. Right now, I do work outside the home, but will be working from home once I have our second child in June. If my job paid well enough, I would bring my second child to the same daycare provider and would continue to work outside of the home. And we have minimal assistance from family members as well. We're very happy with our situation and I don't think it's impossible to be so.
If our family were not here we would not be here.
