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I feel at home in my rented apartment. It's possible that because you see doing anything to the apartment as "increasing the value to your landlord" that you are not taking steps to make the apt feel like home. I don't make capital improvements but painting, changing light fixtures/faucets, buying furniture, rearranging rooms, etc etc - I do all those things and it feels like home.
I also have a core base of things that move from apt to apt with me so it feels like I am still accumulating things which I love, even though the apt itself is not mine.
I only felt free when I got out of my parents home and into "my own" rental.
Until a couple years ago I had always been a renter and as long as I felt the deal was good, after a couple years I felt" at home." All were pretty decent places, the last one even "luxury."
Now I finally own but strangely enough I still do not fee as "at home" as I did in my last rental...20 years. I guess there is a time element in the adjustment, perhaps getting used to a new neighborhood, and slowly learning "how everything WORKS" weighs in as well.
I eventually inherited and sold my parents home...and went I went in the final time, with almost no furniture left, it felt quite claustrophobic with lots of teeny- tiny rooms. It seemed hard to believe I once lived there with 4 other people. I was torn about possibly moving into it (costs would have been minute)...but that last walk-through convinced me I made the right choice to walk away from it.
Lots of REALLY REALLY ROTTEN memories attached to that 100+year old house.
Kefir, I hear you--my parents' house felt like a prison, and it didn't help that for "security" they kept all drapes and blinds tightly closed. Heaven forbid a ray of actual sunshine might enter the house.
I am a renter here in NYC as well, and as nice as I have tried to make my apartment, I know that I'm only going to be here temporarily. There are things I wish I can change, like the bathroom, kitchen, floors, etc...if I had a magic wand, but it'll serve its purpose while I am here. All in all, I've never had a bad night of sleep here which is a good thing!
Renting does stink, but on the plus side, my wife and I have our own place, we make our own rules, I can make all the noise I want, and invite friends over whenever..... a luxury I didn't have when I lived with my parents. I'm trying to save as much money as I can so that one day I can move out of NYC and perhaps buy a home in a state down south where my money goes further.
However I do have married friends who live nearby who are renters as well, and they do have backyards and their own parking spaces....and are paying the same amount of rent as I am... ohh well, I cant win them all...but the good thing is that I am a block away from an express subway stop which can't be beat.
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