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Old 10-13-2013, 10:49 AM
 
19 posts, read 22,081 times
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I feel extremely blessed to live in such a diverse and vibrant city. It is certainly true that if one can make it here, they can make it anywhere! My only problem is my dating life. I don't have outlandish requirements, I am simply looking for a guy with the same shared values, education and economic background as myself. In my humble opinion, relationships tend to work when people have more things in common. For this reason, I prefer men who are college educated, financially stable and very family oriented. I want a guy who strongly values his family and God. Also, since I don't have any children, I do not want him to have any either, until after we get married and have a few together.

Why do some believe that I'm asking for too much? Again, I am not asking for anything that I don't have. I will add that I'm attractive and very healthy. It just seems like NYC is not a good place for a young professional, family-oriented heterosexual African American woman, if she is searching for a young professional, heterosexual family oriented man.

I am wondering if I will ever find my soul mate in NYC, before turning 30?
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Old 10-13-2013, 11:02 AM
 
6,680 posts, read 8,241,134 times
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This is your biggest problem...before turning 30
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Old 10-13-2013, 11:05 AM
 
Location: NYPD"s 30th Precinct
2,565 posts, read 5,517,021 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jessica_inNYC View Post
I am wondering if I will ever find my soul mate in NYC, before turning 30?
I have no plans to get married before I'm 30, in much the same way I have no plans to leave a really awesome party at 8pm.
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Old 10-13-2013, 11:08 AM
 
19 posts, read 22,081 times
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Originally Posted by livingsinglenyc View Post
This is your biggest problem...before turning 30
I've been so blessed and thus far have made the right decisions, so I haven't had career or financial setbacks. Currently finding the right guy for marriage, before turning 30 is the biggest issue in my life.

Sadly, despite all of my successes, I haven't been able to find my soul mate. This may not be important to others, but I strongly believe in family, so it's very important to me.
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Old 10-13-2013, 04:58 PM
 
15,590 posts, read 15,684,170 times
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Well, if you want someone who believes in God, have you joined a church?

Also, check these out:

NYC Black Urban Events (New York, NY) - Meetup

Professional Social Networking (Brooklyn, NY) - Meetup

NYC Black Singles (Woodside, NY) - Meetup

Brooklyn Black Professionals for Networking and Fun (Brooklyn, NY) - Meetup
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Old 10-13-2013, 05:16 PM
 
Location: Where the sun always shines
2,170 posts, read 3,308,630 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cida View Post
Well, if you want someone who believes in God, have you joined a church?
Seriously, you're best bet is in the church. Finding a guy in NYC under 30, financially stable with no kids and wants 3 mouths to care for until they're about 22.....yeah you are asking for quite a bit. Unless you're willing to take a guy that's say...not conventionally attractive.

If I didn't say it b4, yeah you are asking for a lot. This isn't Once Upon a Time on CBS
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Old 10-13-2013, 05:25 PM
 
6,459 posts, read 12,031,799 times
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Originally Posted by jacktravern View Post
Seriously, you're best bet is in the church. Finding a guy in NYC under 30, financially stable with no kids and wants 3 mouths to care for until they're about 22.....yeah you are asking for quite a bit. Unless you're willing to take a guy that's say...not conventionally attractive.

If I didn't say it b4, yeah you are asking for a lot. This isn't Once Upon a Time on CBS
Not really. Those men DO exist, but moreso in the south and midwest.

Since we have an abundance of those transplants here, maybe the OP should sign up on one of those online dating sites like Match.com or one of those religious dating ones.
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Old 10-13-2013, 07:26 PM
 
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Thanks for your response, but I've gone to several of those meetups. Unfortunately, most of the people present were other single black women. The few guys that were there, weren't really my type and I even discovered that a number of them did not reside in NYC.
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Old 10-13-2013, 07:29 PM
 
19 posts, read 22,081 times
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Originally Posted by marilyn220 View Post
Not really. Those men DO exist, but moreso in the south and midwest.

Since we have an abundance of those transplants here, maybe the OP should sign up on one of those online dating sites like Match.com or one of those religious dating ones.
I signed up for match.com and didn't find any good matches. For the most part, I was contacted by older guys and men with children. There's nothing wrong with older men, but I'm still in my 20's and I prefer men who are similar in age without children.
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Old 10-13-2013, 07:35 PM
 
19 posts, read 22,081 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jacktravern View Post
Seriously, you're best bet is in the church. Finding a guy in NYC under 30, financially stable with no kids and wants 3 mouths to care for until they're about 22.....yeah you are asking for quite a bit. Unless you're willing to take a guy that's say...not conventionally attractive.

If I didn't say it b4, yeah you are asking for a lot. This isn't Once Upon a Time on CBS
It seems like most of my white female friends do not have this problem. They are either in serious relationships or in marriages with guys from similar socioeconomic backgrounds.

Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of guys out there who are interested in sex, partying and casual relationships, but for the mature, educated and professional black woman, very few, mature, educated and professional m en in NYC who are interested in marriage and commitment.

I'm in the process of trying to get a job transfer from NYC to London. I may have better luck finding a good match there. I'll keep my fingers crossed. BTW, I'm 28, not 22.
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