Do you believe some people can't handle having a social life?

[lottamoxie]

You may (probably do) have social anxiety, possibly combined with some other issues stemming from some family dynamics. Obviously it bothers you to some degree because you are posting about it. You are not a freak, so dont think that way.

However, you do need to be able to not feel anxious when in situations that are social in nature. And for that you need therapy for sure (and possibly some short term meds, depending). Do not allow yourself to be a victim of your anxieties -- fight your way through it by seeking out therapy.

Feeling good about yourself, your environment, and feeling like you have options is always the more empowering thing. This is treatable and there is hope and yes, you should explore this so that you are in control and not any anxiety or scar tissue from the past!

[Trimac20]

I agree with what others have said, are you lonely or quite content being so socially isolated? We're social creatures, but some of us need less of it than others. Most people who are loners do want at least SOME social contact, I was like that when I was younger. While socialising was at times stressful and or boring I never wanted to be totally alone. I still wanted friends to hang out and share my thoughts and feelings with. But if that's what you really feel you want for yourself than don't let others tell you you have to to do this or that. My advice is the same, just make an effort, see what happens, and find out where you fit into all of this.

[ricardobrazil]

Originally Posted by Ro2113

This is very personal so here I go.

I've given up on having a steady social life. I've never really had a true friend before only acquaintances.

The only time I'll ever initiate a conversation with people is about work and school. I really rather not.

My goal right now is to get a job which will allow me to be self sufficient meaning living in my own place without a roommate.

I don't go out much except to go jogging and walking around the neighborhood listening to my iPod. Or going out to a ball game.

I'm also a geeky person so if there's a comic book or video game convention I'll go or at least try to.

The point of all that was to illustrate that I don't have a social life. I'll only socialize if I have to because I don't find socializing enjoyable but I find it very stressful and I'm sure I'm not the only guy that does. I've been told many times that I should go and get laid, get a life, get a girlfriend but quite frankly I just don't believe it's worth it.

I agree that every guy should go and get a job but beyond that there's no other obligation to be social unless they have to.

Most of time, you just sound like me. I share the same thought, at least I was used to, but not lately. I realized that living in this world requires social touch, otherwise, it gets really hard to get through our days...I explain:

Unfortunately, we can't keep us in a "good mental shape" only by ourselves. We need the people around to do most of things for us; to tell the news; to give advice; to make us laugh at; to get us a job and to warm up our hearts...and at this point I'm not meaning "family love", but the so much good feeling of knowing there's somebody else who cares about you. And the fact is, people who have social life live more and better than who doesn't.

Even though I'm saying this, right now my life lies on the other hand. I'm still trying to find out what's friendship, a good life, and love, a word that actually means nothing to me.

[PJ1252]

im no doctor but i do have social phobia - besides the things you mentioned if you grocery shop late at night to miss interacting with people or avoid doing things when most people do them i would guess you may have social phobia - i have been on medication for 5 years now and i couldnt be happier - now you cant shut me up and i shop every day at peak hours - you may want to read up on it or see a psychriatrist that can prescribe the appropiate medication - if you have any questions please feel free to send me a private email -

[crisan]

Originally Posted by Ro2113

I would've responded earlier but pretty much yeah. I'm sorry but every time I've tried to be vulnerable or show some emotion to anyone outside my family it turns out horribly.

It can be frustrating when you try something and it doesn't seem to work out no matter how many times you try.

[No attitude]

Just be careful who you associate with and who you are influenced by.You absolutely do not need any type of medication.Be careful who you take advice from.The devil is out there.Be yourself.Be kind and appreciate your life for what it is.Be yourself.

[SwedishViking]

I think it's hard to keep up, but necessary to keep the sanity.
For me it's a concious struggle to try to be outward and talk about random stuff etc...

[Rei_h]

I think it's only natural for people to want to talk to others about their interests. But it's ok to be a loner, and your case is extreme.

When you go to the comic con or video game conventions, do you talk to others? If you do, you are interacting.

I don't think it's a problem unless it affects others negatively. So far, if no one is complaining about it, then just do what you've been doing.

[purehuman]

Ro2113...in answer to "do you believe some people can't handle having a social life"?....I would have to say yes!!some people can't...but at the same time I would say...that's not a bad thing...some people are just not into being around a lot of others...different stokes for different folks....no ones the better I say....and you've said yourself...you're not obligated, and it's only if you have to...or want to.

[bentstrider]

I don't really see myself as much of a loner as I once thought.
After much discussion with my more socially-outgoing younger brother, we've come to the conclusion that I tend to be more at ease when another party is involved in the same activity as I.
This sounds cliche', but I seem to be easily able to fire up conversations with those that are:
-Involved in the same line of current work I'm involved with or have been in the past.
-I ride bicycles and find other groups or individuals riding them to and fro real easy to approach.
-I have a natural inclination towards basic mechanical repair of certain items/machines. Anytime someone's having trouble with, say their battery becoming drained in their car, I immediately go from "wall-flower" to "bombardier of symptoms and treatment".

Anywho, like one of the other posters above mentioned, many of us aren't true loners or total introverts.
We just tend to naturally click with groups pertaining to our desired interests.
Persons like my younger brother on the other hand, they're more flexible and are more capable of branching out to the differing masses.