Do you believe some people can't handle having a social life? (girlfriend, person)
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I've given up on having a steady social life. I've never really had a true friend before only acquaintances.
The only time I'll ever initiate a conversation with people is about work and school. I really rather not.
My goal right now is to get a job which will allow me to be self sufficient meaning living in my own place without a roommate.
I don't go out much except to go jogging and walking around the neighborhood listening to my iPod. Or going out to a ball game.
I'm also a geeky person so if there's a comic book or video game convention I'll go or at least try to.
The point of all that was to illustrate that I don't have a social life. I'll only socialize if I have to because I don't find socializing enjoyable but I find it very stressful and I'm sure I'm not the only guy that does. I've been told many times that I should go and get laid, get a life, get a girlfriend but quite frankly I just don't believe it's worth it.
I agree that every guy should go and get a job but beyond that there's no other obligation to be social unless they have to.
I've given up on having a steady social life. I've never really had a true friend before only acquaintances.
The only time I'll ever initiate a conversation with people is about work and school. I really rather not.
My goal right now is to get a job which will allow me to be self sufficient meaning living in my own place without a roommate.
I don't go out much except to go jogging and walking around the neighborhood listening to my iPod. Or going out to a ball game.
I'm also a geeky person so if there's a comic book or video game convention I'll go or at least try to.
The point of all that was to illustrate that I don't have a social life. I'll only socialize if I have to because I don't find socializing enjoyable but I find it very stressful and I'm sure I'm not the only guy that does. I've been told many times that I should go and get laid, get a life, get a girlfriend but quite frankly I just don't believe it's worth it.
I agree that every guy should go and get a job but beyond that there's no other obligation to be social unless they have to.
If you belive it's not important then don't do it. Obviously though you do think it's important or you wouldn't have written what you did.
If talking to others in social situations stresses you out, you probably just need to work on your communication skills until it becomes more natural. I would try Toastmasters and then Meetup, in that order.
Some people don't want a social life and that's fine. But there is a difference between wanting one, and not doing well, and geniuinely not wanting one.
Also, be careful that you do not become so socially awkward that when you DO want a social life, you are no longer capable.
Sharing a common interest with people is the most rewarding life experience. It is not easy to run across a person of such nature and it is often rare depending on your personal interest. For example will a person sit in your kitchen hearing 20th century Avant-Garde from your boom box and connect it with something disturbing? It depends on their cultural background. In N.Y. the abundance of Avant-Garde fans would find an opinion like that to be moronic. In South Jersey most people in general would think you are an ideal candidate for psychiatric treatment for even considering music like that. People in society are divided in groups and if their Grandparents or family tree were possibly brought up on a specific style of music, a specific list of morals etc...the thought of a newcomer with a different cultural background is intruding to them. In this case,...I have always been determined to stay a recluse.
It is not worthwhile going the distance for anyone unless that person has made a special rare connection with your personal life interests. This occurs in a town populated with a majority of people who continue the traditional belief system of their great grandparents before them. In this case the people of the town may consider you a misfit or you and a friend the 2 misfits of the town. Instead of excepting the realization that people in life can be unique individuals....it is against their tradition to ponder over it. You may be a person who is considered by many to break rules of tradition and therefore labeled as an outlander. It has more to do with the social environment and upbringing of the people who live there. It is possible to meet a new friend from a town like this who will share a common interest with you ...however it is very rare when you do and the odds are quite against you.
I believe your thread title may reflect how you feel about your ability to handle a social life.
What do you think, OP?
I would've responded earlier but pretty much yeah. I'm sorry but every time I've tried to be vulnerable or show some emotion to anyone outside my family it turns out horribly.
Like someone else mentioned, it comes down to whether or not it's important to you.
You sound very introverted to me but there's always social anxiety, or just avoiding social stuff due to not having a lot of luck with it in the past. I'm very much an introvert and require very little to keep me content in that way. Much more wears me out. I'm not socially awkward and I do have close friends, although not too many. I like to keep it that way.
The key is, what is it about socializing that stresses you out? For me, I used to have a hard time telling people no. I feared going to any social event, especially work related events, because the expectation might be I would go to these things on a regular basis. Sounds lame, I know. Anyhow, the more comfortable I became with who I am, telling people no without explanation or making up excuses became a lot easier. "I'm sorry, I won't be able to make it" is enough.
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