LONG!!!! 3 arguments with 1 friend in 1 night! (husband, person, member, affection)

[MMoon17]

situation 1-

I run from discussing the "big 3" (religion, politics, and money) since having a difference of an opinion from a friend could end a friendship.

I saw a friend of mine tonight who brought up how a year ago that she was about to end her friendship with me after I shared my opinion while she had me and a few of her friends over for dessert and conversation.

I AVOID those topics and NEVER, EVER bring them up for discussion however, if someone chooses to bring it up I typically will share my opinion as well (from time to time). I have never though had my feelings toward a friend change due to a difference of opinion, and I am not looking to change anyone's opinion at all because opinions are never an I'm right therefore you are wrong thing.

My friend brought up illegal immigration (I have no idea how it got brought up) sharing her opinion and how she has no problems with people entering the U.S. illegally (she has some family members here illegally). After she shared her opinion her friends were quiet and she was looking for someone to say something since she apparently was passionate about the subject.

I should have taken her friends' cue but I choose to share my opinion since I got to hear hers. She was angry at me for having a difference of opinion and would interrupt me, rebutting things that I said (which were facts and not merely opinions).

The room got even more quiet and one of her friends was nice enough to change the conversation.

Have any of you friendships end due to a difference of opinion?

Is it impolite and inappropriate to share your opinion on an issue like this when you are at the person's house even if they brought it up?

Tonight when I saw her she brought it up and stated that one of the girls that was there said I was inappropriate and should not have said anything (unless I agreed) since I was a guest in her house. Looking back on this, I shouldn't have mentioned anything period because I didn't know that she would get all bent out of shape since she had no problems sharing her views.

situation 2
Tonight she also stated something that another friend of hers said to her about me (I have NEVER met this friend) in regards to something silly that I did. She said to my friend that she should dump me, that I'm a (the word that rhymes with witch), and that she should end the friendship due to something I did which my friend laughed about and really did appear fine with. I told my friend to give her friend a big F U for me and she got super mad at me.

She said that I am wrong for disliking her friend without even meeting her. I was telling her that why would I want to meet a friend of hers who has already said this kind of crap about me when she has only heard one side of the story ?

She stated that I am immature to never want to meet her friend. She also shared that she was thinking of visiting me in Hawaii when she gets a week off of work and bringing her friend. I then said that while my friend is welcome in my house, her friend is not. I'm not giving room and board to someone like that. When my friend mentioned coming over to visit me a week prior, it really seemed that it was more for a free place to stay since I would only be home at nights since I cannot get the same time off of work as her.

I don't agree that a friend of my friend has to mean that their friend is mine. My friend (Vicky) just seemed to rehash the past a lot tonight when I won't be back in town for over 2 months. She was trying to hurt my feelings by saying that I need to change because I have mainly bad characteristics such as being immature and irrational about things and being too stubborn.

I only say trying because while I was annoyed that she seemed to be attacking me a bit, but my feelings really weren't hurt because I don't see myself as being immature or irrational (stubborn yes). I believe life is to short to spend it around people who already have their minds made up about you, so if I don't even know you and you already are saying things like that without hearing my side of the story, yeah I won't invite you to be a guest in my house for a week while I am at work during the day giving you a free bedroom for the week.

Am I being too harsh to not want this girl in my house or to ever meet her? I do regret the F U comment.

situation 3-
Vicki said she was angry at me for not talking to her on Sunday when she called me. She called once and didn't leave me a message. I ALWAYS return calls, but I didn't think that there still was an etiquette that you had to return someone's call even if they do not leave a message. In the days before Caller ID, if someone did not leave a message or left a message saying they just wanted to say hi and that you don't need to call them back , not returning a call seemed to be okay since you couldn't see their number or if they said you don't need to. I just took it that if you do not leave a voicemail, you probably didn't have something that was urgent and that if you need to speak with me you will call again and leave a message.



I have maybe 3 really close friends and she is one of them. I have known her for 5 years and just felt she was saying to me that she regrets having a friend like me. A few months prior she confronted me about how I never initiate get togethers, call her just out of the blue, and seem to be happy with just seeing her once in awhile. Vicki stated that she was going through her friends trying to figure out who is really a friend and who isn't and that she drew a blank on me since she said she really likes me but that I don't seem invested in her friendship. Since she confronted me, I have made an effort (and she agreed) to be the one to arrange get togethers and contact her more frequently. I'm now thinking maybe I shouldn't have bothered

[Currency Pair Crocodile]

I just woke up, I am bored to jog for it's so cold out and am still sleepy. I put myself through the pain of reading this. Wide awake now

I'm a people person. My acquaintances love having me around becoz to every one of them I seem like I am on their side. But underneath, I'm a radical, and a sort of maverick, with unique notions and world views.

I will disagree with you on illegal immigration. If not for amigos, this country would have come down to her knees already, small businesses will be filing for bankruptcy at reckless pace and the best way to destroy an economy is to destroy its middle tier business entities.

These people work in rain, snow, sleet, will even work on a bed of thorns without shoes, they are fighters.... and I appreciate them for it. And I appreciate them for keeping business owners over water.

Also becoz I have a crush on the senorita who makes me egg sandwich every am Just kidding. She customizes it for me and touches me affectionately when delivering it to me.

[funymann]

Note to self: Fire the "french maids" "hire the chicas"

[Timmyy]

Originally Posted by funymann

Note to self: Fire the "french maids" "hire the chicas"

The French maids will just surrender anyway.

[purehuman]

MMoon17....you really ought not to judge another by what someone else says about them, especially when you haven't even met them.......your "friend" has turned you two strangers against each other, simply by saying things about the 2 of you behind your backs, and unfortunately you've both fallen for it....that's sad.....and your friend sounds like she's more trouble than she's worth.

[Trimac20]

You're not allowed to disagree with her? She might as well be your teacher, not your friend.

Your friend tells you all this and still expects you to meet her other friend? What for? It sounds like she's a bit on the tyrannical side to me. So you can duke it out or something?

Again, the last part...in all this it sounds like she's being nasty and just picking on you, looking for opportunities to give you a hard time.

Don't let her walk over you, put her in her place or say goodbye.

[Kiffy0793]

My advice would be to dump her. She sounds like a toxic person. The fact that she would say that someone you don't even know called you a nasty name shows she does not care about your feelings.

[srjth]

Originally Posted by Kiffy0793

My advice would be to dump her. She sounds like a toxic person. The fact that she would say that someone you don't even know called you a nasty name shows she does not care about your feelings.

This.

[MMoon17]

Originally Posted by purehuman

MMoon17....you really ought not to judge another by what someone else says about them, especially when you haven't even met them.......your "friend" has turned you two strangers against each other, simply by saying things about the 2 of you behind your backs, and unfortunately you've both fallen for it....that's sad.....and your friend sounds like she's more trouble than she's worth.

I don't think Vicki (my friend) was deliberately trying to do that and I'm not mad at her at all for simply sharing what her friend said (don't shoot the messenger thing), but I don't get how she is angry at me for being upset that her friend said that. Why the **** would I let a girl who I have never met (and only know her by way of her already not liking me) stay in my house?!

[MMoon17]

Originally Posted by Trimac20

You're not allowed to disagree with her? She might as well be your teacher, not your friend.

Your friend tells you all this and still expects you to meet her other friend? What for? It sounds like she's a bit on the tyrannical side to me. So you can duke it out or something?

Again, the last part...in all this it sounds like she's being nasty and just picking on you, looking for opportunities to give you a hard time.

Don't let her walk over you, put her in her place or say goodbye.

She seems to only be okay with me disagreeing with her if it isn't on things she is passionate about (which from what I know is just illegal immigration of all things at this point). I feel strongly on certain things to which people are completely against (leaving out the subject on here), but I won't be angry that someone has a different of opinion on the matter. I see the cons and pros of both sides of any issue. I don't know if her feelings of being angry on differences of opinion with politics is something that is normal and should be expected from really any friend. I really thought she was overreacting about that, but I do regret sharing my opinion simply due to making her so angry!

With the thing on her friend, again I don't think I am being out of line with not meeting a girl who clearly wasn't interested enough to actually hear my side of the story before her opinion of me was made up! Maybe my friend wouldn't have a problem if the roles were reverse, but I cannot imagine I'm being "weird" about not wanting to meet her friend now! I do regret telling her to give her friend a big F U from me LOL.

I rarely have a hard time dumping toxic friends, but with her it is difficult. She is one of the few people whom I actually really like and enjoy listening to, and I feel that she listens to me and like 80% of the time she isn't mean or anything like with what I said here. When she is like this though, it really does make me have doubts about keeping the friendship.

On one hand I know I am difficult to be friends with since I regularly have a hard time making connections with people and keeping friends (I also am apathetic to when a friend dumps me which I feel sad about) so I really am thinking about all the things that she has said to me, but on the other I don't think I'm out of line or being ridiculous!

I hate making excuses for people and rarely do that, but she didn't start this kind of behavior until her marriage was on the verge of divorce (she is separated from her husband right now). I feel like since she is unhappy that she might be taking it out on me from time to time. She did share with me that one of her close friends (a girl I met a few times whom I am fond of and like) basically stopped contact with her and she cannot pin point why. She thought it could be because she didn't want to hear about my friend's failed marriage since she has only been married for maybe 2 years.

I really will think about some of the things you people have said. This is a tough one because I actually really care for her.