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First off: I'm old, so this is not your typical booty focused post - I am thinking about the subject of trust in relationships and how crucial it is . . . and how rare, at least in my life.
It has come to my attention that most of my family members cannot really be trusted, in one way or another. Some you cannot trust with your deepest emotions - they will eviscerate you if you show any vulnerability - then there are the people who are dishonest to one degree or another . . . some on the alcoholic spectrum, some trending towards narcissism . . .then the passive-aggressive, and guarded ones . . .don't really care about you and would rather not be bothered.
So that leaves basically zero people in my family network that I can really trust.
Some just lie through their teeth, then get offended when you question them . . .
I just find it really sad.
I like to think that I am trustworthy, but I am not sure what that would look like - I think it is "say what you mean and mean what you say (without being mean)" . . . and also being dependable, responsible, up-front, non-adversarial, no hidden agendas, etc.
Do you have people you can trust in your family? People who "have your back?"
Is it "all for one and one for all" in your family? Can you adopt me, if so?
Do you have people you can trust in your family? People who "have your back?"
Is it "all for one and one for all" in your family? Can you adopt me, if so?
Sadly, no. I don't have a family like that.
My dad's side of the family? They were all wonderful. But they're almost all deceased, with the exception of a couple of cousins who live out of town. They're fabulous gals, and I wish we lived closer together.
My mom's side of the family? Very materialistic for the most part, and pronatalist to the extreme. I'm not married and I have no babies/toddlers, so I don't even register on their radar for the most part. If I fell into a coma, there would be massive quibbling over who got my money/royalties, of course, but that would be the extent of it.
Note to self: draft will; leave everything to charity.
Do you have people you can trust in your family? People who "have your back?"
Is it "all for one and one for all" in your family? Can you adopt me, if so?
Everyone in my family (grandparents, parents, siblings and their husband/wife, aunts, uncles, first cousins) are all trustworthy, honest people. I'm blessed to be in as wonderful a family as I am.
The two relatives I trusted without question on any matter, maternal grandparents, have both passed away. I can't think of anyone else on either side of my family that has my back....not even my mother. In fact, I likely have the least amount of trust for her. She's an addict and all that goes along with that. My father was an alcoholic, died last year, but was far more trustworthy than my mom is. He was his own worst enemy but generally was good to those he cared about. My mom serves herself and not capable of or willing to go outside that box. My expectations are low with her, and my hopes are non-existent. That leopard will never change its spots.
I have so many alcoholics/addicts in my family it would be easier to count the ones without those issues. It also wouldn't take long. Anymore, I consider the whole of my family to be my husband and kids. Most the rest can go pound sand. Dealing with my dad's estate issues shed a whole new light on one of his parents and two of his four siblings. I wouldn't trust them with a pet rock.
I authorized my dad being removed from life support last fall. He was brain dead following a heart attack in the doorway of his home. The individual who gave birth to him sat right next to me in my father's last 30 minutes of life off life support. I held his hand as he passed on.
About two minutes after he passed, his mother asked me if he had a will. Turns out he did not. I knew he wanted to be cremated and that's what took place, albeit with some protest from her. She finally gave up on protesting in favor of a burial but says to my husband and me, "If he didn't leave a will, he gets what he gets. If it were me, I'd leave him here and let the hospital figure it out."
I have to say that "yes", i can trust my family. I'm lucky enough to have a family i love and that love me, i can trust them and i think they feel the same way. I feel for you in your situation, not sure how i'd deal with it.
I've never really thought about it but i suppose i really am lucky. Thankyou for the heads up. I should appreciate them more.
I do have a couple people I can really count in in my family. Most of them just end up leaving me let down when I expect them to have my back and they don't.
I think on the whole, people tend to end up with more friends they can trust than family. Why? You can choose your friends, but you cannot choose your family.
First off: I'm old, so this is not your typical booty focused post - I am thinking about the subject of trust in relationships and how crucial it is . . . and how rare, at least in my life.
It has come to my attention that most of my family members cannot really be trusted, in one way or another. Some you cannot trust with your deepest emotions - they will eviscerate you if you show any vulnerability - then there are the people who are dishonest to one degree or another . . . some on the alcoholic spectrum, some trending towards narcissism . . .then the passive-aggressive, and guarded ones . . .don't really care about you and would rather not be bothered.
So that leaves basically zero people in my family network that I can really trust.
Some just lie through their teeth, then get offended when you question them . . .
I just find it really sad.
I like to think that I am trustworthy, but I am not sure what that would look like - I think it is "say what you mean and mean what you say (without being mean)" . . . and also being dependable, responsible, up-front, non-adversarial, no hidden agendas, etc.
Do you have people you can trust in your family? People who "have your back?"
Is it "all for one and one for all" in your family? Can you adopt me, if so?
I have found the Universe provides people that understand me much more than my "family" ever has. The fact is that some people were born into families that were a challenge to relate to from day 1. And so it makes you a much deeper person, less superficial & also much more perceptive about who's for you/against you.
That's another thing- Whoever is not for you is against you. Sometimes it is your own family. That's when you move on.
Blood is not thicker than water
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