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I just want to make sure that this is not normal or appropriate behavior and that I am not just seeing things.
Jeez, how many more times are you going to ask this question. NO. Your m-i-l should not be saying those things to you or touching you like that. It's not normal. It's creepy and wrong and bad. Clear?
I mean is this all normal stuff that a mother in law tells her son in law? Is this just her being friendly? She said some of this stuff when she was drunk, so could I chalk it up to the alcohol?
Point is do I have enough to go to her to tell her that it's inappropriate or will I look like a fool?
Hahaha!! OMG!
Sorry. With that out of the way, I'd say no, that is not normal stuff. Hilarious to someone other than you? Yes. Acceptable? Entirely up to you. How old is she? It might be cute if she's grandma-age, like, Betty White, and just being funny or trying to embarass you. But you have some pretty salacious examples. It sounds like she might actually want to do you... and that is NOT okay!
Good luck with that. Want to know how I'd "tell" her? I'd avoid her entirely. Maybe if you ignore it she'll give it a rest. Just try not to blush. That'll encourage her.
Geez, guys I wasn't saying I was scared to talk to her about it, I was wondering if the stuff she says is friendly or being really flirty in an inappropriate way? I needed to know if so, so I can have a chat with her about it.
So in your opinions, she is crossing the line and venturing into heavy flirting territory? This isn't about being nice or friendly anymore?
Your MIL is more then crossing the line IMO, she is hinting, or maybe even baiting you to do something to her. I agree with previous posters, just ignore it and keep your distance.
I used to work with a man who murdered his father for sleeping with his wife! He was then hired by the State as evidence of how they rehab prisoners. Anyway, your wife should be made aware of your feelings. Marriage is about working together. When MIL "jokes", look serious and tell her that it just ain't gonna happen and that you are a married man and intend to stay that way. What would you do if your Dad made your wife feel uncomfortable? You really need let that woman know that you have boundaries and she will not cross them regardless of her mental issues. People do strange things but only you can decide what you want to be your normal in your marriage.
Update: so far I've been acting normal and haven't avoided her or anything. She's been tame and nothing has happened. Is it because she just wasn't in the mood to act that way or is this all over?
Need advice. I need to know if I have enough ammo to talk to my wife about some of the stuff that my MIL has been saying. I also want to talk to my MIL and let her know how uneasy I feel about what I perceive to be her flirting.....
Point is do I have enough to go to her to tell her that it's inappropriate or will I look like a fool?
It's natural to want to say something, but I doubt if talking to your MIL would accomplish anything other than to set the start of years of antagonism from her, and possibly force your wife into the discomfort of having two people she loves at odds with one another.
It reads as though she has not matured to her years, and cannot accept the fact that she is an older woman with a grown and married daughter. She still wants to be the desired one, and she's playing the wrong field.
You just ignore her words as if they were not spoken. Turn your back to her after she's said it and keep your back to her for at least ten seconds. Then go on as if nothing was said. Repeat this every time she says something inappropriate. If you are seated, just turn your face from her. Mil will eventually get the idea.
It is okay to tell your wife that you are uncomfortable with her mother's talk, and let her know that you are intentionally ignoring it because it makes you realize she has problems she doesn't know how to deal with another way.
I would not suggest that your wife do anything -- that would only force her into a conflict, just informing her of your feelings is enough. Let THEM work out the situation in their own way. It's possible your wife might talk with her mother, suggesting that she might seek counseling to get past this point and move on with her life in a meaningful way, but she has to come to that idea without your prompting, or it could backfire on you, later.
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