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Well.... I'm certainly getting my rear end handed to me....
I, in no way, wasn't discounting SAHM parents, as I think that is the hardest job that there is... I see this from afar, as I have not kids myself, but I can respect the hard work of parents.
I think, that perhaps I framed this thread in the wrong context. Yes, I was probably a little bit harsh and being a little judgmental, but I did acknowledge that a couple of times, yet I still got a lot of heat about it. The thread should have been the bigger picture about bad decisions we make and the lack of personal responsibility, not necessarily about that one particular friend. It's just a big rough to see a lot of people making really stupid decisions repeatedly through out their lives, while others try and do the more responsible thing.
I, can also, to a degree, see that some people in life don't have the wherewithal to be as successful as others... not that I'm so successful...
Nobody is perfect. Some people just have better problem solving skills than others.
For example, one side of my family figured out that it is better to work than to be on welfare. They have good work ethics.
However, they have poor relationship skills and make the same mistakes over and over. They haven't learned how to be affectionate or sympathetic or learn how to mind their own business. And they wonder why there is always drama in the family over silly things or they blame people for being distant.
But...they work hard, so they feel like they have all the answers.
Personally, I pair up with people who are capable of learning at the same rate as myself.
I try to be a compassionate person, but there really is no excuse for sitting at home while the government takes care of you and your kids. I do feel quite snobby about people who think they should have the same things that I have when they sit at home and I go to work everyday.
I think there is a difference between looking down on someone and not agreeing with their choices. If there are other interests than a friendship can be established. It sounds like you don't have much in common with her. I have more respect for someone that doesn't pursue a friendship because of not agreeing with someone's lifestyle vs keeping someone around to feel superior.
Way to limit others...not everyone has...yakkity shmakkity. We excel or we fail based on our own will, drive and actions. Personal choices and accountability.
Ah, so everyone is the same?
There are no differences in people and their abilities?
Are you serious?
Who am I limiting?
I'm stating facts.
We excel or fail based on more than personal choices and accountability.
Are you perfect?
We are all differently abled and that leads to success or failure also.
If you're the same as everyone else, why aren't you a wall street wizard making millions of dollars?
Some of my step siblings are like this. One of them has 5 kids and leaches off family and the govt. Yes, she made poor choices knowing it would lead nowhere. No sympathy from me.
I managed to escape some serious dysfunction in my early growing up yrs. I went to school got a decent job... the usual stuff.
Some of my friends started churning out babies at 16, ended up working dead end jobs, alcoholics etc etc.
One girl in particular looked me up on FB a while back.... chatted politely and "caught up"
Turns out that this woman never worked a day in her life. She stared having babies at 16 and wound being a "grandma" at 36.
She bounced around with a few different men. Never actually working, she got some combination of welfare/social security benefits.
I'm trying to not look down my nose at her.
But it's really hard.
I guess I'm thankful I turned out sorta normal....
Like the title suggests.... I wonder how common it is to know someone like this
I think its common. I know several people who have spent their lives basically living off others, not working or building a future and now they are getting older, broke, on disability/assistance. Many are or have been addicted to prescription drugs and alcohol and several in and out of jail. Its really sad because many of these people seemed to have a lot going for them back in HS. I know of many younger people that are just too darn lazy to work or try to make anything of themselves.
Like another poster, I was a young single mother but I worked my bum off and went to college and worked for everything I have. Its not a lot, but its mine by my own hand.
Maybe its a combination of circumstance, upbringing and resolve. Who knows. I ran into a HS friend I havent seen in years. He was telling me about getting his 600/mo. crazy check. Thats all he can draw because of his spotty working under the table all these years. He moved up from living in the woods to living with some chick who was driving him around because he lost his DL, 3rd DUI offense. He came from a very good family, fairly smart and talanted, graduated HS and was given 10 acres of land. Not sure what happened.
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