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I know several older people (60 and above - generally retired), who forward email after email after email to people en masse every day. My dad is one of these people.
They are often long, political diatribes - that usually do NOT pass the "Snopes Test" (or even a simple googling test!). Or they are "Remember when..." meanderings down 1950s memory lane - and I wasn't even born then. Or they're health related, safety related, etc.
There is no way that the average person could read all this stuff every day. And that's OK - I usually skim them over and delete most of them. Like I said, the vast majority of them don't seem to be personal emails that HE wrote specifically to ME.
Occasionally, my dad will ask me about an email, and it's quickly evident that I didn't read it. He becomes offended. Now listen - it's one thing to send all these to me. It's another thing to demand that I read them all. That's basically like force feeding an adult. I'm not going to do it.
I can't imagine that he'd allow me to force him to watch three episodes of a British sitcom every day. It's about the same thing!
I've gently asked him, several times, to PLEASE not send me all this stuff, so that when he DOES send me something, I know he really wants me to read it. Surely he doesn't personally CARE whether or not I read everything he sends me about Obama's birth certificate, or whether or not 9-11 was an inside job!
Recently I heard a cousin of mine, at a family gathering, also ask him to PLEASE cut down on the emails. My dad was clearly a bit embarrassed and said, "OK, sure, sure." The same answer he gave me - and my cousin will get the same results.
Has anyone had any luck getting someone to quit sending "personal spam?" What about a good answer when they ask the inevitable "So what did you think about that email I sent you yesterday? The one about the 1950 movie stars - which one do you think was the best actress?" Does YOUR favorite spammer get irate with you when you haven't read every single email? Is there any option other than blocking them - or ignoring them?
Hey, I just thought of one. I've had the same email address for years - maybe I should get another one and do a transition - just don't tell him. Wonder how long it would take for him to find out...hmmmm...
I straight up tell them to stop forwarding me the emails. Some people have gotten huffy about the request, but that's their problem.
Har! I've DONE that. No effect. He stopped for, oh, about three days.
My inbox is, as we speak, full of 272 emails, at least 230 which must be from him. Within the past month or so. GRRRRRR.
The sad thing is, occasionally he will send me something truly interesting, truly personal, something I would WANT to read. The trouble is, I often miss those because I can't tell the difference between them and the spam by the subject line.
I tried to get him to put, "You really need to read this" in the subject line (or something along those lines) so that I could tell the difference. Apparently he figured out that I then meant to discard most of the other stuff. So he started putting that in multiple, spammy sort of email subject lines. Like they say during football season - "C',MON, MAN!"
He probably has you the list called: People to aggravate with forwarded emails. LOL
HARHARHARHHARHHAHAHARHAR! Apparently he has read the book, "How To Drive Your Friends And Family to Drinking Before Five O'Clock Every Day of Their Lives."
Dad: "She doesn't have enough to do - well, she's not doing what I think she should be doing - so...I'll send her every conspiracy theory on the planet in 20 emails a day!"
Later: "Hey, Kathryn, why are you using NutraSweet in your tea? Didn't you read the 478 emails I have sent you about that stuff causing cancer?"
Me: "No, Dad, I must have missed those - sorry."
Dad: "I sent them to you because I thought it was IMPORTANT FOR YOU TO KNOW."
Me: "I know, Dad, but can you do me a little favor? Can you PLEASE send me fewer emails? That way I'll be much more likely to read every one that you send me."
Dad (huffy): "WELL. I'm only sending you the things I think you'd be most interested in or need to know the most. It's not like I'm not thinking of your best interests."
Me (thinking it, not saying it): "So...I'm supposed to be shocked that the Sierra Club sent Obama some campaign money? What's the practical application - go out and kill some endangered species???????"
HARHARHARHHARHHAHAHARHAR! Apparently he has read the book, "How To Drive Your Friends And Family to Drinking Before Five O'Clock Every Day of Their Lives."
Dad: "She doesn't have enough to do - well, she's not doing what I think she should be doing - so...I'll send her every conspiracy theory on the planet in 20 emails a day!"
Later: "Hey, Kathryn, why are you using NutraSweet in your tea? Didn't you read the 478 emails I have sent you about that stuff causing cancer?"
Me: "No, Dad, I must have missed those - sorry."
Dad: "I sent them to you because I thought it was IMPORTANT FOR YOU TO KNOW."
Me: "I know, Dad, but can you do me a little favor? Can you PLEASE send me fewer emails? That way I'll be much more likely to read every one that you send me."
Dad (huffy): "WELL. I'm only sending you the things I think you'd be most interested in or need to know the most. It's not like I'm not thinking of your best interests."
Me (thinking it, not saying it): "So...I'm supposed to be shocked that the Sierra Club sent Obama some campaign money? What's the practical application - go out and kill some endangered species???????"
D'OH! That last line was funny, but you didn't hear that from me.
Yep. But, it's like the Kindle thing. He's not going to "get" it. So, might as well just delete anything with "FWD: RE: Re: RE: FWD" in the subject header.
D'OH! That last line was funny, but you didn't hear that from me.
Yep. But, it's like the Kindle thing. He's not going to "get" it. So, might as well just delete anything with "FWD: RE: Re: RE: FWD" in the subject header.
Hehe, he's a tricky one. HE deletes that before he sends it on!
No, they are not going to get it. But that doesn't mean I have to keep TAKING it!!!!!!!
When you mentioned that many of his forwards are about conspiracy theories (and not cute pictures of cats), to me that's a red flag. No, he won't stop because this is about something way deeper than whether or not he's annoying his friends and family. This is about his fears — which have turned into obsessions — and now he has a way to think he's being pro-active about these things he believes are hurting the world.
He's probably lonely and this gets him attention. I've had many elderly relatives who will happily take negative attention if they can't get positive attention.
It's a shame that you and other people have to be annoyed. But he's most likely troubled and if you can't address that with him, you're probably just going to have to wear out your delete button and try to get by without knowing those few things you would like to know about. If it's important enough, he'll tell you (probably along with yelling at you about why you don't already know).
When you mentioned that many of his forwards are about conspiracy theories (and not cute pictures of cats), to me that's a red flag. No, he won't stop because this is about something way deeper than whether or not he's annoying his friends and family. This is about his fears — which have turned into obsessions — and now he has a way to think he's being pro-active about these things he believes are hurting the world.
He's probably lonely and this gets him attention. I've had many elderly relatives who will happily take negative attention if they can't get positive attention.
It's a shame that you and other people have to be annoyed. But he's most likely troubled and if you can't address that with him, you're probably just going to have to wear out your delete button and try to get by without knowing those few things you would like to know about. If it's important enough, he'll tell you (probably along with yelling at you about why you don't already know).
You may be right.
My dad was always a leader, a teacher, a mentor and a business owner. He's always been a pretty powerful presence, and now he's retired, and not active in any groups, and I think he misses being able to sway people with his logic and reasoning - and his provocative ideas and speech patterns.
He's always been a bit of a hell raiser and very non conformist, and anti political -a bit of a radical, but in a good way.
I think now it's like you said - he's not so much of a powerful presence or a leader, and he misses having that sort of influence over others and having people be so enamored with his intellect (which is still a force to be reckoned with!). I think he's frustrated, disillusioned and probably sort of sad.
I also think he still enjoys stirring the pot a bit!
I've noticed an "old people thing" among my parents and people their age (mid-60s and older). They may have just "discovered" the internet and e-mail, so they are receiving and sending all the chain e-mails most of us got in the late 90s.
Whenever I look in my inbox and see my mom's name combined with "FWD" I know it's some lame heartwarming story that's fake, some alarming warning that's fake, or a dumb joke I've seen dozens of times. I've introduced her to Snopes on numerous occasions, and it doesn't seem to stick. Mom actually discovered e-mailing when she was still working, and the forwards started back then, but now that she's retired, she's tripled her efforts.
I recently received an urgent FWD e-mail from her, to me and everyone she knows, about our cell phones numbers all going public at the end of the month, and how we have to get on the do not call list. BTW, she has sent me this same message at least 8 or 9 times over the past 5-6 years.
I responded to "all" linking (again) to Snopes and told her that no matter how many times in the past 5 years she sends that out, its still won't be true. She just says "How can I remember what I've read and sent before? I sent it just in case. Oh, well.." She says that all her friends in her age group also say they forward everything, because "you never know," and that all us adult children always complain. But they all agree on the universal constant: "you never know." That's the 11th commandment among 60-somethings I guess.
I was like, Mom, in this case, I DO know. It's fake. And guess what, so is that e-mail about magically sending money to a little kid for surgery with every forward. And so is that one about how US troops will get new helmets every time an e-mail message e-mail circles the globe. And that joke about the old guy and the viagra? Not funny. Not only is it an old joke that you've sent me multiple times, it's unfunny.
But she and her girlfriends will keep fowarding every damned thing they get, while they keep pouring the cosmos and martinis and laughing away.
No wonder Nigerian money-advancing scams work so well! Sixty-five year old brains, plus vodka, plus high speed internet, equals not a good combination. I have a whole new idea of what "parental controls" should be for!
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