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My extended family doesn't exist, apart from my Mother i'm the last.
My wifes is huge though and i've no idea what they thought they new about what I did (until the start of this month I was an infantryman for 20yrs). I imagine they thought they knew quite a lot.
I have spent quite a bit of time with extended family of wives, girl friends as well as different branches of my own family. One thing that has always shocked me is the lack of interest, knowledge or conversation about family members jobs and careers. I have tried bringing up the topic of work, jobs, careers, career planning, professional development and job hunting at many family gatherings but the topic is usually quickly dropped. Replaced with discussion about things like football, how terrible our political leaders are, celebrity gossip and popular culture.
I was thinking of a number of relatives on my wife's side of the family as well as my relatives too and for many of them I don't know where they work, what they do or nothing about their career hopes and dreams. To me someones' careers is an interesting topic, but others seem to disagree. Because much of the conversation is group based it seems odd to just approach someone and ask them outright, so I remain frustrated and ignorant.
Do you know much (or care much) about the careers or jobs of people in your extended family? How about your immediate family? Do you know much about the work your brothers and sisters do? Where they work, how their career is going and why they chose the work they do?
Certain family members will give the attitude that what you do is trivial - and why they is much more important than you, or just a general arrogance that they will be richer than you - despite being better off than them they will likely be arrogant to the day they die.
Some family members give you attitude the you have been lucky to get your job, or its easy to get a job where you live etc, no respect what so ever - If they lose a job its because of the economy, its a layoff - if you lose a job you were fired for being useless - the cover up any career failings, and look for your failings - all the while desperate to see something going wrong.
I am really shocked sometime how many of my extended family really have no interest in anything about anyone else. They just talk in chit chat style but really don't know each other even though they have known each of us their entire liives. Most people are just not interested in learning about others.
I don't really have "extended" family, just my parents and my sister, her husband and their kids. We rarely talk about work. Or, rather, I sometimes do, but they have no clue what I do, and apart from sometimes asking for entertaining stories about mentally ill people, they don't even listen to me. My brother in law works in the finance industry, and since he works 6 days a week and his work is really boring, even to him, he doesn't talk about it. My sister probably wouldn't allow it anyway. My Dad retired a few years back, but even when he did work, he would only occasionally talk about some funny story at work. My mom just retired. She used to always go on and on about her co-workers, but it was more about all the interpersonal relationships (like we cared!) and not about the actual work she did. My sister's work is her kids, and much of the attention when we get together is directed at them.
So my family usually ends up talking about current events, popular media, my sister's kids, the activities of my sister's kids, and our animals. Sometimes gossip, often a lot of humor and joking, but really no vocationally-oriented talk. I prefer to talk about pressing political issues, but those are lost on my family, so I refrain.
My boyfriend has a very large extended family, and we are forced to attend events with 30+ cousins and their spouses, aunts, uncles, etc. They NEVER talk about their work, even if I ask. They pretty much only talk about their respective children, and the latest sporting event. and maybe the childrens' sporting events. I don't have kids, and I'm not really interested in them, especially kids of people I am not close to, and I hate sports and sports-talk. So at his family events, I prefer to just, well, drink. It's either that, or stick a fork in my left eye. Maybe the right.
I don't think any of them even know that I have a Master's and work in the mental health field. Actually, his one aunt did learn that about me, and had me cornered one day for about 2 hours asking for all kinds of advice about a person with mental illness. I actually enjoyed that, since I could put my knowledge to good use. And we weren't talking about kids and sports. And they were out of wine.
Most people don't do what they like so why would most people want to talk about what they do? Talking about what people do is for busybodies, like relatives who always ask the same stupid questions about work every year.
See, I disagree. I love what I do, and that's why I chose this field. I guess because I feel that way, I assume others do too, and then I'm perplexed as to why they never talk about their work. I guess some of them might hate what they do, but I'm sure it's not the majority.
I actually like to hear about other people's work, if they want to talk about it. I even found a few of my brother in law's stories about the mortgage & finance industry very interesting (before my sister shut him up saying no one wanted to hear it).
I don't see it as being a "busybody" at all to ask about someone's work! I find it much more nosy when people ask about my personal life. I'd much rather share stories of my work than reveal stories about my relationships, etc.
See, I disagree. I love what I do, and that's why I chose this field. I guess because I feel that way, I assume others do too, and then I'm perplexed as to why they never talk about their work. I guess some of them might hate what they do, but I'm sure it's not the majority.
I actually like to hear about other people's work, if they want to talk about it. I even found a few of my brother in law's stories about the mortgage & finance industry very interesting (before my sister shut him up saying no one wanted to hear it).
I don't see it as being a "busybody" at all to ask about someone's work! I find it much more nosy when people ask about my personal life. I'd much rather share stories of my work than reveal stories about my relationships, etc.
I agree with you. If I had to guess about how many people like what kind of work they do, I would say roughly half. Yes, people who hate their jobs probably rather not talk about their work. Like I said here before, if people I meet, family or not, don't want to talk about what they do for a living, fine. I try not take it personally.
Where I think it can get nosy is if someone asks you what you make or whatever, that is personal. And what you make is nobody's business.
I have an excellent career and have always been successful, but I do NOT want to talk about work at the family barbecue. Not my work nor anyone else's, beyond a sentence or two. Work sucks up 8+ hours a day as it is, why should my leisure time be wasted by continuing to focus on work? No thanks.
I agree, I have a good job and make pretty decent coin, but I also don't want to waste time talking about work, I can hardly stand to work 8 hrs a day as it is........ don't wanna give it any more then I have to.
I have a job that is hard to explain what I do exactly. It's not like I can say I'm an accountant or lawyer or something people are familiar with, so that is part of the reason I don't talk about it too.
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