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I'll be 22 soon and I haven't had any kind of social life or friends for about 8 years now. I have never had any kind of dates or relationships with girls before either. I do have mild aspergers syndrome which doesn't affect me too much. I blame part of being alone on the fact that I dropped out of 10th grade and got a G.E.D. instead of graduating as well as moving around alot. My situation is a long story, but I get pretty down about it sometimes. Most people who see me think I am an average person but on the inside I am pretty decayed. I am like most people my age nowadays, unemployed and not able to find a job, bored, and broke. I have not been to college. Now I just spend most of my days wondering why the world is so screwed up. It just seems like my mind has forgotten what a friend is or what a friend or social life or whatever is supposed to do and supposed to be.
I honestly don't see this as getting any better. Most of the time I just keep asking myself how I am going to live my life without something so crucial. Most people in our society operate in packs and levels, and if you miss the ticket you are now considered an outsider who has no choice but to stay on the fringes.
Just wanted to let everyone know that people like me are out there and are trying to exist for one more day....
Are there any meetup groups near you? These are social groups, that people who have like interests join.
While looking for a paying job, how about volunteering somewhere? Perhaps in a nursing home, a library, or at a hospital? How about at the local Democratic or Republican (or whatever) club and/or work the phone banks? It would keep you busy, bolster your self-esteem, be an environment where you could interact with others, and maybe even make a couple of friends along the way. It could also turn out to be your "foot in the door" for future employment.
Are you eligible for loans & grants to go to college or a trade school, if this is even something you would want to do? In addition to being able to meet people there, it would improve your long term employment opportunities and probably your income, too.
People tend to like people who are interesting. What makes a person interesting are their experiences and the things they do. If you can get out and do more, you will become an even more interesting person than you already are and perhaps others will gravitate to you more.
You sound somewhat depressed. I concur on the meetup groups. Be mindful that we all have limitations. You have to go out of your way to make a life. Explore what your interests are and yu will eventually find like minded people. Life is full of ups and downs and your trials are preparing you for your future but you have to do more than WANT to change.
You are also at a pivotal point in your life. Just barely a grown up. I think part of your struggle is trying to figure out what's next?
Your mindset is really depressing. There are many things you can do to try to make friends, or if nothing else, than to get out and make your life fuller. You can look in your town for any youth groups, join a church, go to social activities in your town, meet people online, get out and do some sports like bike riding or walking, volunteer at different places, all sorts of things. It sounds like you not only need to meet some people and get some friends, but that you just need to broaden your horizens and do some things besides sit at home and feel bad.
there are lots of places to go that don't cost much or are free. Like was said before volunteering at a place of your interest, classes, etc...can help you meet people and that can help you get a job or at least help you meet new people..being unemployed is a huge reason why so many give up and just survive everyday. It isolates and you really have to try to get out of that ...
Are there any meetup groups near you? These are social groups, that people who have like interests join.
While looking for a paying job, how about volunteering somewhere? Perhaps in a nursing home, a library, or at a hospital? How about at the local Democratic or Republican (or whatever) club and/or work the phone banks? It would keep you busy, bolster your self-esteem, be an environment where you could interact with others, and maybe even make a couple of friends along the way. It could also turn out to be your "foot in the door" for future employment.
Are you eligible for loans & grants to go to college or a trade school, if this is even something you would want to do? In addition to being able to meet people there, it would improve your long term employment opportunities and probably your income, too.
People tend to like people who are interesting. What makes a person interesting are their experiences and the things they do. If you can get out and do more, you will become an even more interesting person than you already are and perhaps others will gravitate to you more.
You're young. Good luck and have fun!
I agree that getting out of the house and volunteering or joining a hobby group could be helpful in many ways. Try a few new things and post again to let us know how you are doing.
Having a social life really does require a lot of work, and you will never get one just sitting around the house and feeling
bad about yourself and your life. You have received some excellent advise from the above posters, I think volunteering would help you a lot. (Some times, when you take the focus off of yourself and focus on helping someone else, your problems seem to work out better also.) And it could help you obtain employment in the future.
If you don't have a job, you might qualify for a Grant to go to College or trade school, to obtain the education/training to
find employment.
I was unemployed for 6 months back in 2010, and it can bring about a terrible depression and self esteem issues.
Talking to someone may help. You might want to drop by the Library and pick up some positive books -on how to turn your life around (there are tons) since it sounds like you are unhappy with your life as it is right now.
You are still young (and a victim of our society and economic times in many ways) but don't give up, things always change, and things
always get better in time...I am rooting for you!
One thing I always have told my kids -- to have a friend, you must first be a friend. That means you have to care about other people, not just yourself. You have to care what they're thinking, what they want to talk about, what they like to do.
You can start with volunteering or take a college class - even if it's one of those no-credit kind of classes. Get a job -- any job at all. If you're not working, you don't have money to do anything. You have to make yourself less boring - because if you're not in school, not working, and have no money, you're really not going to have much of anything to talk about even if you get some friends.
Don't wait around thinking someone is going to just show up and fix your problems and change things for you. You have to do it yourself, you're just waiting on you. You have to decide to end the inertia, get the ball rolling.
Since you have a diagnosis yourself, you might want to get into that kind of field of work eventually - work with autistic kids. You could start with some kind of volunteer program for kids. But really anything that interests you or you think might interest you would be where you could start.
One thing I always have told my kids -- to have a friend, you must first be a friend. That means you have to care about other people, not just yourself. You have to care what they're thinking, what they want to talk about, what they like to do.
You can start with volunteering or take a college class - even if it's one of those no-credit kind of classes. Get a job -- any job at all. If you're not working, you don't have money to do anything. You have to make yourself less boring - because if you're not in school, not working, and have no money, you're really not going to have much of anything to talk about even if you get some friends.
Don't wait around thinking someone is going to just show up and fix your problems and change things for you. You have to do it yourself, you're just waiting on you. You have to decide to end the inertia, get the ball rolling.
Since you have a diagnosis yourself, you might want to get into that kind of field of work eventually - work with autistic kids. You could start with some kind of volunteer program for kids. But really anything that interests you or you think might interest you would be where you could start.
Excellent advice. You really messed up your life by dropping out of school and blowing off college. Find a way to get back in school. You have a lot of ground to make up and it won't be easy. But if you want to change your life you have GOT TO STOP TAKING THE EASY WAY OUT.
The job thing is a little complex, I've been putting in applications all over my city and surrounding towns for 4 years now, and nobody calls me back not even for an interview.
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