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I read this whole thread and I find quite a few of the posts very condescending. Here out in California, which is not part of the midwest, servers ask up front "are you guys together or separate?" every single time. No matter what the restaurant, lounge or club. The same is true of Las Vegas and Salt Lake, which are also not part of the midwest (if you think they are please do me a favor and consult a map).
In Vegas whatever the tourist wants the tourist gets, even if the party is 20 people and there will be 20 checks, and they always ask up front "together or separate?" and if you say "separate" the server is kind and won't give you a dirty look. Which is how it should be. Vegas is hardly a little quiet dusty town, given that it rakes in billions and billions of dollars annually and is a world reknown tourist town.
I'm frankly tired of the whiny help threads. Go learn a trade or go to college. Seriously. Stop whining.
New York City is the center of the universe...the center of the universe for rude people.
For the record, I live in Orange county California, eat out a ton and have even been to LA. LA is, by the way, the second largest city in the country, and has plenty of overloaded restaurants, bars and lounges, and there are likewise many crowded areas here in OC, which is home to Newport Beach, Disneyland, and Knott's Berry Farm. Hardly the slow moving midwest, which has far friendlier people than NYC does. Out here the line at Disney for a restaurant with screaming unhappy kids can be a mile long and they will still split the check for the people inside, and still ask, and with a smile.
Talk about condescending and rude...so I take it you've been to NYC and you know EVERYONE there since you can make such a bold statement?
Most of us are speaking for ourselves and our small circle of friends. I don't speak for all of NYC, but among my family and friends we either toss in equally (yes we use cash--not tacky at all), or we take turns picking up the bill. Taking turns picking up the bill is usually reserved for friends who you eat out with frequently. If there is one among us who simply ordered a salad and a water, he/she can eat for free as far as I'm concerned. But again, that's my circle of friends.
As to ordering seperate checks, sometimes it is more convenient. Case in point, if I go out to lunch with co-workers and there are 20 of us at some chain restaurant, putting everything on one bill is disastrous because not everyone carries cash and the time it takes for everyone to do the math and pay their portion of the bill is staggering at times. It's frustrating to sit there while they break out their smart phones and calculate an exact 15% gratuity. In that event, seperate checks is the way to go.
I've also lived in California for several years and down south, not all servers and wait staff are "sunshine and lollipops" when they take your order and not all of them are thrilled to print out seperate checks for large parties.
Why do people insist on asking for separate checks. Its ridiculous. Can't just 1 person pay the whole bill and then after dinner, figure out who owes what...
When I lived in Europe I asked for separate checks for my party of 6, the waitress looked at me as if I was joking!
Uh, no, it's not ridiculous. If you read any of the previous pages, your question has been answered many times over. I think it's obvious why, on certain occasions, it's prudent to have separate checks. It's also the customary for many restaurants to ask what the preference is upfront.
Just because YOU never do it doesn't automatically make it stupid. Read up...maybe you'll get it.
Uh, no, it's not ridiculous. If you read any of the previous pages, your question has been answered many times over. I think it's obvious why, on certain occasions, it's prudent to have separate checks. It's also the customary for many restaurants to ask what the preference is upfront.
Just because YOU never do it doesn't automatically make it stupid. Read up...maybe you'll get it.
I have a life not reading 17 pages worth of people whinning . I was a waitress, trust me we thought YOU were stupid when you asked for separate checks.
If we're all within 5 bucks or so of each other, we just split it. If one person orders three courses and two martinis while the rest of us are having the soup/sandwich special and a soda, that person usually takes it upon himself or herself to subtract and pay for his or her meal and let the rest of us split the rest of the bill evenly--or should. That's just the polite thing to do, and it can be done without requesting separate checks, even if it requires the tacky appearance of a calculator.
I have a life not reading 17 pages worth of people whinning . I was a waitress, trust me we thought YOU were stupid when you asked for separate checks.
Calling people "stupid" is uncalled for! Good friends out on lunch/dinner dates can decide to ask for separate checks, since it's their prerogative and not the business of the server, because they are getting paid to do their jobs and plus generous people do tip handsomely on the top of the added service charge added on to their bill!
So, as a waitress, why would you complain? You're getting paid to do your job and with tips when the customer sees fit that you earned it!
Calling people "stupid" is uncalled for! Good friends out on lunch/dinner dates can decide to ask for separate checks, since it's their prerogative and not the business of the server, because they are getting paid to do their jobs and plus generous people do tip handsomely on the top of the added service charge added on to their bill! So, as a waitress, why would you complain?
LOL I was a god awful waitress.
Thanks for reminding me.
I am a cash guy as are many of my friends, so we calculate our share plus tip and put it on the table. Then someone counts up the cash to make sure their is enough cash plus adequate tip, usually about 20%+.
Alternatively, someone may offer to put it all on a card, then everyone cashes him or her out their share.
Finally, if it is just a coupe of people at the table, one may offer to pay in exchange for reciprocity the next time out.
Well, if you read my post all the way through, you'd remember that I'd only met two of the three people I was dining with that night, so we're hardly talking about friends here. The two that were already friends with the woman who seems to have kept everybody's money have to decide whether they want to dine with her again. I don't know if I'll ever have occasion to be in a restaurant with that woman again or not (I was visiting from out of state) but if I do, I will pick up that check off the table before she had a chance!
LOL at your kosher remark. I went out for happy hour last night with two Jewish coworkers. We had Scotch and appetizers--I got shrimp, they ate some of the shrimp and split oysters and steamers (clams) besides. Not Torah observant, obviously!
Not all Jewish people keep kosher. I was raised in a kosher house, so I continue to observe kashrut as an adult.
I still can't believe you stumped up $50 for appetizers and a beer.
In our circle, flashing your cash is viewed as tacky.
I just think it's "awkward" to have all that cash being throw or given to the person wanting to put it on a card. Or the discussion of who owes what.
I've set back and watched a bill be passed around the table and everyone commenting on it, then all kinds of money and credit cards being shuffled about.
(disclaimer.....if it is already known that one person is picking up the entire check this does not apply)
I think this varies. When I've vactioned with friends and when I lived very close by my friends in college/grad school, we'd do the one person pays, the rest give that person what we owe afterwards. But in the case of college/grad school, we'd settle in the car (if someone drove) or at someone's home afterwards.
For vacations, we take turns picking up the tab and save the receipts. Then at the end or when we get home, the good, close friend I trust and is good at math figures it all out (some nights we go out to nicer, more expensive places than others, so we want to make sure it's roughly even for everyone). We also save receipts for groceries if we go to a timeshare. My friend owns the timeshare, so I always treat at least one dinner just on me as a thanks and subtract that from the receipt pile. And I make dinner one night a week as well (I have a tiny kitchen so it's a treat to cook with more space) as a way of saying thanks. On a cruise, our main shared expense was the round of drinks before dinner and we took turns putting the bottle of wine for dinner on each person's tab. And bottled water for the excursions. Each day, we'd take turns buying for the group. Again, my friend calculates to make sure it's roughly even at the end.
But if a larger group of us get together for dinner in Manhattan, we have people from all over the greater NYC area who are going in different directions via public transit. Sometimes it will be weeks or even months before some of us see each other. There's no shared car to exchange money and we're not exchanging money on the street for safety/crime prevention reasons. So that pretty much just leaves the restaurant as the place to settle the tab.
Usually the person's who's the best at math gets out the phone with the tip/bill calculator and discreetly passes it around the phone with the screen letting everyone know how much the bill is, the suggested tip and the share, if we're splitting it evenly, which we usually do because we tend to order roughly the same amount/value of food. If there's an automatic gratuity for large parties, we usually don't add in any additional tip, unless the service was really good. We give the money to this person and the count it to double check we have enough for the tip.
Last edited by exscapegoat; 10-19-2012 at 02:24 PM..
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. I was a waitress, trust me we thought YOU were stupid when you asked for separate checks.
