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Most of my friends don't try to do this, but some have. Furthermore, they have always ignored criteria that anyone who half-way knew me would know the situation wouldn't work for me. Except for one male co-worker, the other few were women, and sometimes were the wives of a friend. In some ways, it's no different than being pushed to do MLM. Either way, it's a trespassing of boundaries. Not surprisingly, these people ALSO had "boundary" issues - a pop psych term that I actually sort of like.
These people are history in my case. I know one friend going back to age 23, who is also single and she's also very attractive, who said "You just don't meddle in affairs of the heart." She hates when people do this to her. I agree with how she feels.
Would you let go of a "friend" who constantly tries to matchmake you? Do you have any such experiences under your belt?
Most of my friends don't try to do this, but some have. Furthermore, they have always ignored criteria that anyone who half-way knew me would know the situation wouldn't work for me. Except for one male co-worker, the other few were women, and sometimes were the wives of a friend. In some ways, it's no different than being pushed to do MLM. Either way, it's a trespassing of boundaries. Not surprisingly, these people ALSO had "boundary" issues - a pop psych term that I actually sort of like.
These people are history in my case. I know one friend going back to age 23, who is also single and she's also very attractive, who said "You just don't meddle in affairs of the heart." She hates when people do this to her. I agree with how she feels.
Would you let go of a "friend" who constantly tries to matchmake you? Do you have any such experiences under your belt?
I would not, Would instead thank them for their concern and decline their offer. And only one close friend tried once with nothing but good intentions. I did not date her though. I found my GF on my own with this very forum actually, And this is coming from a guy who has never nor even considered meeting someone through the web..
I would not, Would instead thank them for their concern and decline their offer. And only one close friend tried once with nothing but good intentions. I did not date her though. I found my GF on my own with this very forum actually, And this is coming from a guy who has never nor even considered meeting someone through the web..
Yes, one and once are the operative words. I was describing more of the 3 strikes + scenario. That becomes irritating.
And, yes, congrats for that. From her posts, we know who it is!
Most of my friends don't try to do this, but some have. Furthermore, they have always ignored criteria that anyone who half-way knew me would know the situation wouldn't work for me. Except for one male co-worker, the other few were women, and sometimes were the wives of a friend. In some ways, it's no different than being pushed to do MLM. Either way, it's a trespassing of boundaries. Not surprisingly, these people ALSO had "boundary" issues - a pop psych term that I actually sort of like.
These people are history in my case. I know one friend going back to age 23, who is also single and she's also very attractive, who said "You just don't meddle in affairs of the heart." She hates when people do this to her. I agree with how she feels.
Would you let go of a "friend" who constantly tries to matchmake you? Do you have any such experiences under your belt?
No. Why would you punish a friend who is merely trying to cultivate your happiness?? How odd.
If you categorically do not want to be set up by any of your friends, clearly say so and ask them to stop.
No. Why would you punish a friend who is merely trying to cultivate your happiness?? How odd.
If you categorically do not want to be set up by any of your friends, clearly say so and ask them to stop.
End of story.
Woman, correct? "Cultivate your happiness."
Please read without using selective perception.
1) They know what type of person you are. They know your "deal breakers." They ignore them.
2) They were asked to stop. Firmly. They were also told why: "I can shop for myself."
Most of my friends don't try to do this, but some have. Furthermore, they have always ignored criteria that anyone who half-way knew me would know the situation wouldn't work for me. Except for one male co-worker, the other few were women, and sometimes were the wives of a friend. In some ways, it's no different than being pushed to do MLM. Either way, it's a trespassing of boundaries. Not surprisingly, these people ALSO had "boundary" issues - a pop psych term that I actually sort of like.
These people are history in my case. I know one friend going back to age 23, who is also single and she's also very attractive, who said "You just don't meddle in affairs of the heart." She hates when people do this to her. I agree with how she feels.
Would you let go of a "friend" who constantly tries to matchmake you? Do you have any such experiences under your belt?
If you have already told them you are not interested in their matchmaking skills and asked them to stop and they haven't, they are not friends who respect you or your wishes. The next time they ask to meet you either decline or accept, then go and if you find they have decided to do a 'matchmaking' session you turn around and leave.
Guess what?! The person being/open to set up usually ends up with a SO they never thought they would: opposite in personality, opposite in likes/dislikes, opposite in the political realm, and so on and so forth. Perhaps that is what your pals are counting on in your situation.
So, these matchmakers tie you up, and drag you to a restaurant for a blind date? Or drive you themselves to pick up the woman to be certain you physically show up. I'm confused.
If you don't want to participate, why do you?
Eh, it doesn't matter since I tend to agree with the other poster when it comes to matchmaking -- more than half of the happily married couples I know were not only set up but ended up with people that didn't meet their original requirements whatsoever.
So, these matchmakers tie you up, and drag you to a restaurant for a blind date? Or drive you themselves to pick up the woman to be certain you physically show up. I'm confused.
If you don't want to participate, why do you?
Eh, it doesn't matter since I tend to agree with the other poster when it comes to matchmaking -- more than half of the happily married couples I know were not only set up but ended up with people that didn't meet their original requirements whatsoever.
Good luck dating.
First, you are obviously of the school that one must be in a relationship to be complete. That isn't the case. I have never had problems getting dates. The last few dates I had, procured on my own, were with nice, intelligent women, but had one of my big-time "deal breakers." It doesn't matter which one. I "cut my losses" to not waste my time and to avoid hurting their feelings. I haven't been on a date in quite a while and don't miss it.
You are confused about the facts. NO date occurred. They start trying to sell me on somebody, give me the details, and I tell them I'm NOT interested. Usually, it happens when I'm at their home visiting my friend (their husbands who I knew prior to marrying them) and happen to be having dinner or coffee with them. A woman isn't interested in seeing a man's checklist filled. She's looking to see her friend find somebody. There's a conflict of interests.
Incidentally, I've been on 3 "blind dates" that I concurred with, prior to a barrage of attempted nuisance set ups. One was set up by a relative and the other 2 were set up by people I had gone to grad school with. I heard the list of attributes, trusted their judgment, and went on these dates. The dates were civil, the women were attractive, but they were way more "corporate" and formal than I am, so each of them were one-date wonders.
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