Wife's parents need $2000 or they will be evicited from their home! (siblings, person)
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They should not be broke because they make $3100 from social security and a $1400 pension from the fathers job. Their mortgage is only about $1000 a month and they live in a real low cost small town and own their cars without payments. They just spend lots of money on silly things and go on lots of vacations and eat out a lot. And they are maxed out on all their credit cards and have a very low credit rating. They are way behind on their bills because of poor decisions and overspending.
Good advice so far.
The extra information adds a lot. I would help a relative if they were in a jam because of a health emergency, lost their job or something like that but if they are going out to dinner and going on vacations they should be paying their mortgage & bills first.
Unless financial restructuring takes place - and a new household budget is devised - the $2000 will just be putting a bandaid on a situation that is going to recur.
Why did they wait so long to allow this to become a huge issue?
If you read my other posting about my wife's cold distant family that treats each other and my wife poorly you may understand how family dynamics can impact a marriage.
The latest news is her parents left a voice mail that said that unless they can come up with two months of mortgage payments ($2000) they will be evicited from their home and be homeless. No one else in the family has any money and we have to help them.
Should we?
How much is the house worth?
Really for many people who have very little equity in a house, they're better off leaving it and finding something they can afford.
If though this house is almost paid off and worth it, you might instead offer to help pay down the mortgage if you are added as an owner. That's what I would do. Then you could get a mostly paid off house that you are co-owner of - and they would make the rest of the payments that they can but in the end you get a good deal on a house.
from that added info, I would say NO. Actually since they just left a message without actually talking to you, I'd wouldn't even respond unless they ask face to face. Then I'd say NO.
As for all the other stuff- refinancing, counseling, etc. That's not your problem; not your decision. All you can decide is if you'll give them the money (and I do mean give). Beyond that is up to them.
Really for many people who have very little equity in a house, they're better off leaving it and finding something they can afford.
If though this house is almost paid off and worth it, you might instead offer to help pay down the mortgage if you are added as an owner. That's what I would do. Then you could get a mostly paid off house that you are co-owner of - and they would make the rest of the payments that they can but in the end you get a good deal on a house.
Not a good idea in my opinion. They could get so far in debt and have so many liens on it, you'd have to pay them to get full ownership. Plus you're creating a bond/relationship with people you really don't want anything to do with, and they you.
If you read my other posting about my wife's cold distant family that treats each other and my wife poorly you may understand how family dynamics can impact a marriage.
The latest news is her parents left a voice mail that said that unless they can come up with two months of mortgage payments ($2000) they will be evicited from their home and be homeless. No one else in the family has any money and we have to help them.
Should we?
Well, hey, if they are homeless, that settles the issue of whether to deal with their abusive tirades at Thanksgiving!
Oh, wait, that was cold. Instead, I will put on my Compassion Cap.
Hmmm.
Well...
No. My Compassion Cap is giving me a migraine. It does that when the B.S. detector in my brain fires on full throttle. I wonder how much of their plight is malarkey and just another attempt to manipulate and abuse your wife. So, I will go with what Rakin said below, but I will add that you should expect never to see that $2,000 again. If you can't afford to give it to them without ever being paid back, don't give it to them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rakin
Do not give them the cash. Offer to send it to the mortgage company and you want to see their "past due" notices. Verify.
If you do pay .... Be sure to let them know you'll do it 1 time only. If you don't lay down any rules they will be back in 6 months wanting you to do it again.
They should not be broke because they make $3100 from social security and a $1400 pension from the fathers job. Their mortgage is only about $1000 a month and they live in a real low cost small town and own their cars without payments. They just spend lots of money on silly things and go on lots of vacations and eat out a lot. And they are maxed out on all their credit cards and have a very low credit rating. They are way behind on their bills because of poor decisions and overspending.
Good advice so far.
If they can go on lots of vacations and eat out all the time they can pay their own damned mortgage and if they lose their home because they are that stupid financially they would be homeless if it were me. There is no way I would allow them to live in my how treating me like crap all the time and spending frivolously.
I'd call back and leave a simple voice mail for them.. "NO" and ya hang up..
they are highly disrespectful of your wife and you and honestly of themselves as well..
this mess is on them and they have to fix it saving them doesnt do **** for anyone but make life harder
Wow! I'm soooooo glad my kids aren't like the responders here. I have no doubt that if I needed some money because I got behind -- for whatever reason -- they'd bale me out if possible. Just as I would them, no questions asked. And just as I would have been happy to have helped my own parents or my wife's. When my ex's father died, I told her to talk to her mom and assure her that if she ever needed any money for anything, to just let us know how much she needed and it would be in her bank the next day. Family is family.
While the OP's in-laws apparently got into trouble from over-spending and poor credit card practices, it can happen to anyone. They probably never adjusted to the lower income of retirement. Some help may be needed there to help them out. It's *possible* that they might qualify for mortgage refinancing, but no, it's NOT available for everyone. And it's possible that they might get their credit card company(s) to work with them with lower interest rates. Help any way you can, but do help. If it doesn't make you feel good about yourself now, it likely will in a few years.
I would make it a loan, however. Ask them when they can repay you. I'd put it in writing so there's no misunderstanding.
There are family members who are toxic and have no business in one's life.
My family is toxic and I do not go out of my way to spend any time with them or email, call, etc. no matter what their situation is.
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