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Sorry if this has been posted already, I did a couple of quick searches and didn't see any threads on this so here it goes.
Does anyone else here find it a tad annoying after you meet someone, talk to them for a bit, maybe spend a few hours with them and then you run into them say, six months later and they completely forget ever meeting you.
You see them and say "hey how are you doing" and they give that blank stare like, huh? And then you realize they don't even remember who you are. And even worse after trying to remind them they still can't recall.
What's with some people, I mean I personally am not good at remembering names but at least I can recall meeting someone regardless if the experience was good, bad or indifferent.
An example of this is when I used to frequent a small dive bar and I was one of a small group of regulars there. I had been going every weekend for the past 3 years. The bartender knew my name would always say hello and such and we would occasionally chit chat about things.
I went in after a few months of not going and said hello to the bartender, and what do I get in response, a blank stare, followed with, " what can I get for you"? It's then I realized she completely forgot who I was. How is that even possible?!
Do some people have the memory of a goldfish or is it the really don't give a crap about you at all and that's why they don't remember?
Yes, it is annoying-particularly when in a social situation...shows they were not really "there" as far as engaging the other person...
Now for the bartender and those who work daily with the public:
Not so surprising... has happened to me as well (rarely)...someone approached me, happily discussed his life/medical issues (I'm in the med field) etc but I had no clue...cannot remember!
Folks like me, the bartender, your MD, a bus driver etc ...we see dozens and dozens of customers, or clients or patients on any given day-and every day.
It would be ideal for us to remember all-but we do miss occasionally!
te=Lost Leaf;27459727]Sorry if this has been posted already, I did a couple of quick searches and didn't see any threads on this so here it goes.
Does anyone else here find it a tad annoying after you meet someone, talk to them for a bit, maybe spend a few hours with them and then you run into them say, six months later and they completely forget ever meeting you.
You see them and say "hey how are you doing" and they give that blank stare like, huh? And then you realize they don't even remember who you are. And even worse after trying to remind them they still can't recall.
What's with some people, I mean I personally am not good at remembering names but at least I can recall meeting someone regardless if the experience was good, bad or indifferent.
An example of this is when I used to frequent a small dive bar and I was one of a small group of regulars there. I had been going every weekend for the past 3 years. The bartender knew my name would always say hello and such and we would occasionally chit chat about things.
I went in after a few months of not going and said hello to the bartender, and what do I get in response, a blank stare, followed with, " what can I get for you"? It's then I realized she completely forgot who I was. How is that even possible?!
Do some people have the memory of a goldfish or is it the really don't give a crap about you at all and that's why they don't remember?[/quote]
Six months later, seriously? That is asking a bit much. I used to have a great memory and would have remembered anyone I met once. Then I had kids. I now have to be reminded several times of meeting people. I hate my brain being this way, but not much I can do about it! Many more things to worry about than something as silly as this!
I don't always expect people to remember me. I've always gotten comments from others on what a good memory I have (I always thought my memory was normal, but other people are often surprised at how much I remember), so I realize that others might not remember me.
There was a trainer who introduced herself and said hi to me all the time at the gym. Then I stopped going to the gym regularly and she forgot who I was. When I started going regularly to the gym again she introduced herself. I just told her my name again and I didn't remind her that we had met before. She probably sees so many customers and her own clients every day that she can't remember everyone.
I wouldn't take it personally but I can see your point. I think we all like to be remembered, but someone in a job like that (bartender) one sees many faces and just simply forgets. As I get older, I know I forget more about the people I meet in social settings or new people at work. If I screw up the new people's names and I have, I simply apologize to them if they point it out to me.
Don't take it personally. Really. I was in PR/corporate communications for many years and so I had to make a real effort to remember names, faces, conversations, etc. I found that the majority of the time, people did not remember me (absolutely did not remember my name) and often swore we had never met, even tho I could quote parts of the conversation we had engaged in, who we were with, who introduced us, etc. I figured out something: people are so concerned with the impression THEY are making on others that they are not even catching who those are around them.
The fastest way to be remembered by someone else is if you ask them questions about themselves or the topics they wish to discuss and act interested. People will remember talking about things that are dear to their hearts long after they will forget what party or event they were at when they had the discussion.
Just realize people are focused on themselves 99% of the time, so no wonder they don't remember you or anything you might have said/done with one another. A person has to be really paying attention to have a recall of most of the moments in their lives.
Last edited by brokensky; 12-23-2012 at 02:32 PM..
Agree with the others and just want to add that there are as many reasons as there are people why someone might not remember you. Some folks have a poor memory over all, some have a poor memory for faces, others for names, etc. Then again, perhaps you don't have a memorable face (not necessarily a bad thing). If you're kind of reserved and don't stand out in a crowd much, not as many people will remember meeting you. The list could go on but I agree a lot with anifani, that most folks are pretty self absorbed and that's not a bad thing either, since that could go the other way and into nosiness about your daily business.
Six months later, seriously? That is asking a bit much. I used to have a great memory and would have remembered anyone I met once. Then I had kids. I now have to be reminded several times of meeting people. I hate my brain being this way, but not much I can do about it! Many more things to worry about than something as silly as this!
LOL, I remember when my youngest was in preschool, and talking to the parents there briefly during drop off and pickup...apparently one woman talked to me a lot and I was just unaware...until my husband met her, then came home started talking about my "friend" at preschool. I was like, "I don't know anyone there!" I probably talked to her a dozen times and never clicked on her name.
Turns out we all became close friends and our daughters are still besties 10 years later.
I used to get offended and then realized that was MY problem, not theirs.
So... now if I re-meet someone I start with "Hi, I'm [Suzy-Q]. We met at [wherever] but I don't recall your name(s)." If I do remember their names, I comment that it's almost miraculous. Seems to put people at ease.
I've only had a couple that were blank after that, and who knows, maybe they have a brain injury? Maybe they were, or are stressed, about something? Maybe they (gasp) didn't care for me?
I use to abuse nerve medication years ago, It messes with your memory sometimes. I would meet people and apparently go places, spend time with people I barely knew. Well later on all kinds of people would come up to me weeks or days later and knew my life story. I just kept listening and talking to these people hoping to know who the hell they were. Most of the time I just went along with them knowing me, so sometimes it's not you, it is the other person.
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