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My best opposite sex friend and I don't have anything in common anymore and I really don't like her. If the two of us met today we would not give each other the time of day. We don't have any chemistry anymore.
But she keeps pushing for more contact than I want and if it were up to me she would just disappear from my life. She is so 20th Century! I have moved on.
Like my namesake Mr. Spock, I need to be logical about this.
Please, don't suggest the passive aggressive approach of telling her I am busy. (I am not) There has to be a better way. What did you do when you wanted to end a long term close friendship that your friend wanted to continue?
Make contact with her again, in person, and then do everything that you know she hates..be abnoxious, rude, loud, and fart a lot...embarrass her so she won't want to be seen with you again.
Say, "I don't have anything in common with you anymore and I don't want to talk or be friends anymore." It's to the point, gets the message across, and takes no one's feelings into consideration.
My best opposite sex friend and I don't have anything in common anymore and I really don't like her. If the two of us met today we would not give each other the time of day. We don't have any chemistry anymore.
But she keeps pushing for more contact than I want and if it were up to me she would just disappear from my life. She is so 20th Century! I have moved on.
Like my namesake Mr. Spock, I need to be logical about this.
Please, don't suggest the passive aggressive approach of telling her I am busy. (I am not) There has to be a better way. What did you do when you wanted to end a long term close friendship that your friend wanted to continue?
I told the truth. I tried not to be cruel or offensive but just said we seemed to have outgrown each other and had nothing in common any more. Sometimes friendships just die of old age.
Whatever you do, be firm but respectful of her feelings.
Take her to lunch, explain your feelings and be prepared for an angry ex-friend.
I'm not sure you can end something like this abruptly, thus her attempts to revive your relationship. She's not on the same page. That's why most people try to reduce contact and gradually fib themselves out of certain social obligations... Much more logical if you dislike resentment and hurt feelings.
But she keeps pushing for more contact than I want
Maybe she is just lonely, misses your company, or is still hanging on to the way things used to be?
Regardless, if you do not like her anymore then you will be doing both of you a great disservice by attempting to continue the friendship. Before talking to her maybe brainstorm and write down reasons why you do not like her anymore. Maybe you might even discover that she displays behaviors or mannerisms that you might have yourself but are unaware of but do not like or that you hope very much you will never have. I went through years and years of reaching a point where I no longer enjoyed my friends for a variety of excuses/reasons and many times it was because they did stuff that I found not to my liking, only years and many friends later to find out that I myself had some of those same traits but they were hidden or suppressed. This is not necessarily always the case but since this person is your good friend, you at least owe it to them to do some of your own soul searching and try and find out what it is about them that is really bothering you.
Wow. I hope someone you really care about doesn't do this to you some day.
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