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I've become increasingly distant with most of my immediate family except for my mother, who I have lengthy phone conversations with every 4-6 weeks or so. You reach a certain age and learn to just let those chips fall where they may. I don't have much in common with any of my siblings and don't consider any of them close friends, and unfortunately have serious animosity with one of them...to the point where I no longer wish to see or speak with him.
I had to move away from my family. There were a lot of toxic elements. I haven't seen them for years. While it does hurt for me to have done what I did, at the same time, it was really hostile when I was there.
I moved away from home in 2008. I have since met others who have moved far away from their families as well. They might see them 1-2 times a year tops. I have been considering moving back home for some time. Partly it is for financial reasons, but also because I would like to spend more time with my family than I already do (once or twice a year). I miss out on almost all of the special occasions anymore. Additionally, I have relatives that are getting up there in age and I'd like to spend more time with them before they depart.
Anyway, some people I have talked to are almost adamantly opposed to going back home. It's as if they can't stand their families. I feel torn, because though I have found myself in the past frustrated with things my family does, I don't dislike their company to the point that I can't ever see myself moving back to be close to them. I guess I don't really understand this mentality. I can certainly understand if there was some form of abuse growing up. But under normal circumstances, I don't understand how you could be so opposed to living closer to your family.
What do you think? Do you prefer to be close to your family? What are some reasons for not wanting to live close to them?
Everyone goes through stages in life. For one reason or another or maybe even without reason you may find yourself living away from your loved ones. This is much more typical and expected earlier in life (fresh out of school, 20s-30s). Sometimes you reach a point where family becomes more of a priority than career and school and you want to be closer. Only you know your heart. Go for it!!! your friends and associates are at a different place in their lives so whats for them may not be whats for you...
I moved away from home in 2008. I have since met others who have moved far away from their families as well. They might see them 1-2 times a year tops. I have been considering moving back home for some time. Partly it is for financial reasons, but also because I would like to spend more time with my family than I already do (once or twice a year). I miss out on almost all of the special occasions anymore. Additionally, I have relatives that are getting up there in age and I'd like to spend more time with them before they depart.
Anyway, some people I have talked to are almost adamantly opposed to going back home. It's as if they can't stand their families. I feel torn, because though I have found myself in the past frustrated with things my family does, I don't dislike their company to the point that I can't ever see myself moving back to be close to them. I guess I don't really understand this mentality. I can certainly understand if there was some form of abuse growing up. But under normal circumstances, I don't understand how you could be so opposed to living closer to your family.
What do you think? Do you prefer to be close to your family? What are some reasons for not wanting to live close to them?
I would rather be far from family members who are spoiled and don't understand anyone and take strangers' side as opposed to my side. I don't need support from people who are one-sided. My family I don't know them anymore. When they don't hear from me in months then they want to ask how are you? I'm done.
Yep. After what I've been through, I plan to leave all these people and never speak to them again, except maybe two aunts I'll call but likely only once or twice a year. I even already have a court date for a final hearing on my name change in three weeks, and next week I'm being admitted to a women's shelter, so I don't have to live with anyone in this family anymore. I'd prefer it that way until I run into some money and disappear.
You could always try to move a little closer but still maintain your distance. For example, I live eight hours away from my parents so I can visit a few times a year. I don't live in the same town, partly for the lack of jobs, but also just a desire to have my own life. It works out great for all of us involved.
I've finished college and I'm thinking about relocating for work. Living away from home for the last few years has made my relationship with family stronger I feel, and gave me breathing space when there were disagreements. So moving away but visiting now and again feels like the right thing to do.
I went to college 1,000 miles away and then went overseas, so I haven't lived near my family for 30 years. My parents and siblings are all just a few miles from each other in the city we grew up in. I love them all dearly and we see each other 2-3 times a year now. But we all had our own journeys, mine just happened to take me farther afield. I doubt I will ever go back. But life is long and changeable and you never know.
I had to move away from my family. There were a lot of toxic elements. I haven't seen them for years. While it does hurt for me to have done what I did, at the same time, it was really hostile when I was there.
It was the healthy thing to do. You did the right thing.
Moving away from family doesn't have to be about negative motivations. Part of being a young adult is finding one's own identity and this is often very difficult when we are still spending a lot of time with our family. This is partly due to the fact that we have roles in our family (many which are negative [spoiled, scapegoat, responsible one, good student, talented] and at best restrictive). Moving away gives us a chance to redefine ourselves which is part of becoming an adult. We can take on new roles and shine in someone else's eyes. It is only when we feel good about ourselves and have positive roles that we are ready to have positive and healthy relationships with people we hope to spend the remainder of our life with. I had an interesting experience in my first year of college. My parents were very controlling and non-supportive of me having my own values etc. I remember walking down a hallway after being frustrated with them. And all of a sudden this poster came falling off the wall and fell at my feet. What did it say? "Home is not where you live but where people understand you".
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