When someone greets you, do you greet them back? (sociopath, conversation, business)

[lmw36]

I greet most people I come across at work, usually because it's just the two of us passing each other (I work in a small office).

My greeting usually consists of "hello", "good morning" or "have a good night". If I am not familiar with the person, I will always choose one of those. I don't really like getting into the social noise of actually having someone tell me how they are doing. I know some people just don't want to talk, but a hello is usually no big deal. I see it as polite but finite.

Other than that, I read people. If someone asks how I'm doing, I'm pretty honest about it. You asked! There's a difference between a man gawking and asking "how are YOU doing" and a man asking how I'm doing. Maybe she thought you were coming on to her? You DID mention she was good looking, maybe she felt you evaluating her? We often aren't as sneaky as we think we are.

[Petitegal74]

I send them a greeting back if they are nice and respectful. I won't do it to people who act fake and two faced.

[AKtoWAtoUT]

She was probably just caught off guard. However, if it happens again, let it be the last time.

One time I was walking down the street to go to work in Seattle, wearing a Mariners hat. Some guy was walking by going the other way and said "Go M's!" when we were about 5 feet apart.

I thought "F yeah! Go M's!!!"

I said nothing. I realized I had waited too long and any reply would be awkward as I would have to say it over my shoulder. I wasn't ready for an interaction with someone as I was getting in the mental zone for work.

I was just totally caught off guard. After this mishap, I went back to complaining about how people in Seattle are closed off and distant.

[mr bolo]

I dont like being asked how are you doing by random strangers, it's OK if it's by a sales clerk or doing business, because thats what they are told to do

but by a random person I dont know or want to talk to, I dont like it, it usually means they want something from you, like pan handlers , or guys trying to pick up on women.

being approached like that is not how I like to meet people, it's kind of imposing, impolite to bother them if they dont want to talk to you.

also depends on the place , situation, like if your in the men's restroom and the guy in the next stall smiles and asks how are you doing sir? thats totally inappropriate.

[silibran]

Originally Posted by mr bolo

I dont like being asked how are you doing by random strangers, it's OK if it's by a sales clerk or doing business, because thats what they are told to do

but by a random person I dont know or want to talk to, I dont like it, it usually means they want something from you, like pan handlers , or guys trying to pick up on women.

being approached like that is not how I like to meet people, it's kind of imposing, impolite to bother them if they dont want to talk to you.

also depends on the place , situation, like if your in the men's restroom and the guy in the next stall smiles and asks how are you doing sir? thats totally inappropriate.

I think it is better to simply say "hi" or some such, than to ask a stranger how they are doing. But, asking this in present day US is simply a salutation. It isn't exactly meaningless, but it doesn't have the meaning you think it should. It simply is a salutation. You are supposed to answer in a positive way; that's the protocol.

[historyfan]

Originally Posted by pentatonic

I don't understand this at all and to be truly honest, in my experience it has happened more times with women than men.

I went downstairs to our break room where a beautiful young women was at the drink machine. I smile and greet her by saying "Hey, how are you?". What does she do? Looks at me and then walks away. I wanted to ask her if she spoke english but decided that wouldn't have been a good idea.

When someone greets you, do you greet them back? Why wouldn't you greet someone back?

Was this a "wellll hellooo there, how are you hot stuff" type greeting or standard polite one?

A leacherous type greeting obviously deserves no reply, but a polite in business setting greeting deserves similar polite acknowledgement.

[The Big Lebowski Dude]

I agree with a lot of what's been said here. I don't understand why anyone would get bent out of shape because a perfect stranger refuses to acknowledge and/or return their greeting.

As I've mentioned before in other threads, I live in a big city & am always accosted by people on the street who have some ulterior motive - and, in many cases they will start their spiel off with a "Hello sir". In fact, just the other day I was walking to work and some perfect stranger on the street (who was obviously destitute/homeless) said, "Have a good day at work, sir!" He was obviously trying to lead me into a conversation which would end up with his asking for $ - note this was @ 6:00am!!!

That all being said, I have noticed that when I'm out running sometimes people will say hi to me - I usually say hello back, unless I think they're shady/sketchy.

Also, if someone is legitimately lost & needs directions, I have been able to sometimes assist them.

Lastly, I sometimes say hello to people I don't know well in the office where I work, but that's harmless because we share a common job/workspace.

That also being said, note that attractive women are probably hit on all the time, so I completely understand if a woman won't acknowledge/say hi to a guy she doesn't know - even if you work in the same office. She may think your "hi" will lead to your asking her out, etc.

[Jean-Francois]

Originally Posted by pentatonic

You're right. I thought she was very attractive until she just completely ignored me. I'm not sure if she works with us but if I ever see her again and she ignores me, I'm going to straight up ask her what her deal is.

I honestly rather get a "F**k off" than nothing at all.

Oh, so you've met my ex-wife then?

Originally Posted by Dewdroplet76

Why? Why not just leave it alone?

Agree with this, making any kind of a deal about it, however small, is letting her know that she struck a nerve when she blanked you.

[Gunion Powder]

I've had people ignore me when I ask "how are you" and I'll often question them or make some remark to let them know I felt the brush off. You'd be surprised how easily passive aggressive types backpedal when you call them out.

[IndyDancer]

Originally Posted by The Big Lebowski Dude

I agree with a lot of what's been said here. I don't understand why anyone would get bent out of shape because a perfect stranger refuses to acknowledge and/or return their greeting.

This. Which makes me think that all this "friendly hello" business is not really about politeness and pleasantries, but about a need for validation and acknowledgment driven by insecurity and sense of entitlement.

Originally Posted by dancho

Learn their names. When you speak to them, use their names frequently. Dale Carnegie said that the sweetest sound to a human ear is his or her own name. So say those names! And you'll remember them.

Careful with this strategy, it's very transparent. There's a thread about this very tactic on another professional forum where I post and the general consensus is that it's a smarmy fake way to try to get on someone's good side.

Originally Posted by Gunion Powder

I've had people ignore me when I ask "how are you" and I'll often question them or make some remark to let them know I felt the brush off. You'd be surprised how easily passive aggressive types backpedal when you call them out.

Either you've been very lucky or they're scared you might be a murderous sociopath. You lost the moral high ground every time you did this... I wouldn't have been so nice.