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Location: Democratic Peoples Republic of Redneckistan
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BuckeyeBoyDJ
kayanne: I completely understand where you're coming from. I grew up with 3 sisters (only boy) so my male cousins were important to me growing up. A couple of my male cousins were basically like my brothers because we spent so much time together growing up.
muleskinner: Oh wow that's awesome you have (or had rather) such large family get togethers. Large families are so much fun. I myself grew up in a large family. My grandparents had 11 children so you can imagine how many cousins, aunts, and uncles I had growing up.My situation is similar to yours that my grandparents passed a couple years ago and it was difficult keeping contact with everyone after that because we did everything at my grandparents house (Thanksgiving,Christmas dinner, Easter dinner, etc).
germaine2626: You are absolutely right. The late teens-early 20s (well all your 20s really) is a very busy time. Everyone is in college or working and finding themself. Everyone also makes new friends and meets new people and starts having serious relationships and new experiences. Like you said though relationships can be restored later in life which is encouraging.
Yes,my granny was the glue that held everyone together...you absolutely cannot believe how many divorces(including one or two myself) happened after she passed away...everyone was worried about disappointing grannyand what she would say or think about this or that..in retrospect is was crazy but at 5'1" we were all terrified of what she might think that it kept us all in line.
We had shooting matches,played horseshoes and washers and all kinds of things at these family get togethers every thanksgiving,christmas,easter,4th of july and once in the early fall back when we all still butchered our own meat...I miss that family tightness we once had and out of hundreds of those clan gatherings I never once saw a beer can..it was strictly forbidden to drink at grannies place and I don't know what they would have did to you,but shunning would've been the least you could've hoped for..I didn't want to find out.lol
To the OP: It has been my personal experience that later in life a closeness with cousins is sometimes restored or even created. This may be nostalgia-driven, or because of more time available following children becoming adults or retirement, or for other reasons. I am 69 and have many cousins - there were 25 in all but four are now dead. I feel close to three now after having had little contact during middle age. With others there are friendly relations but not that feeling of closeness. With still others there is almost no contact whatsoever.
I think that we go through periods of time where we kind of lose touch with even those cousins we were very close to. I was busy with college,grad school,travels,etc
Once I got settled in,bought a house and had a little more time on my hands, I reached out to several cousins and we've gotten close again via phone calls,seasonal cards to each other,skype with some and FB has been an awesome way to communicate. I'm so thankful to get to know the adults they have become and they seem equally happy to know me again.
Yeah I understand I'm not close with nearly all of my cousins. I have too many for one and we don't all live in the same state so I naturally wouldn't be close t them anyway. Out of the few I grew up with I only talk to 2 and like you said I wouldn't say we're close because we haven't hung out since I was in high school and the others it's just a "talk to you when I talk to you" type of thing. A couple of my cousins are just too ghetto and too wild for me and I don't got time for all that and we have nothing in common or nothing to talk about.
I could tell you how many cousins I have but you would find it hard to believe
Both my parents have huge families.
I don't live anywhere close to the cousins I've reached out to and grown to love deeply as adults;but we stay in constant communication. You don't have to SEE them to learn to know and love them.
I do plan on seeing them at varying times. Either one or more at a time will visit me and I in turn will visit them. Works for me since I love to travel and I love to show off my new home state.
Used to be close to my cousins. Saw some daily, some weekly, and some monthly. In time it was weddings and funerals only. Then even that stopped. Lots and lots of cousins. Haven't seen any of them in years. I recently heard from one that I haven't seen in 33 years. Wants to keep in touch. Will probably do the letter in the Christmas card thing. It is sad how families split apart but you have to think of how many other people have entered your life in that time.
I've got scads of cousins on one side of the family, and fondly remember many, many get togethers on holidays and summer cookouts. We grew up, got busy with our own families, many moving out of state. It seemed we only saw each other at the funerals of our parents! Bittersweet, as funerals often are. We all finally got together last year just for a cousins reunion, and had a wonderful time reconnecting.
Facebook has also helped out a LOT with staying in touch. We are now the keepers of our family history, since most of the aunts and uncles have passed on.
All my cousins are at least 15 years older than my siblings and me and then our family moved overseas so hardly saw any of them - in fact, I really only know the names of dad's brother's children. I have no living grandparents. Mum is quite close to her cousins but we know hardly any of her siblings children.
3 years ago I decided to contact my biological family (I'm adopted) and now have 10 "new" cousins (who range from 6 to 20 years younger than me and we are all Facebook friends as are my uncles and a copule of 2nd and 3rd cousins.
My uncles are very close to some of their more distant cousins (2nd to 5th). This may be because they grew up in a tiny town where everyone seemed to be related. I still have no living grandparents - (also my bmother passed away at quite a young age)
So now I have lots more cousins than before, the more the merrier
Used to be with both sides and would love to be still close but the interest isn't there on their sides. They have their own lives now which doesn't really include me anymore.
I went in the Army and have been gone a long time (although I visit frequently I am only visiting. they stay and live their lives.). and our mutual parents have/are passing away so it is just us.
My cousins were like my siblings growing up. I'm an only child. I live 2,000 miles away from my hometown now and only see them on visits. However, after a family blowup, i only talk to 2 of the 5 of them, the ones closest to me in age.
They are both married with kids of their own. I love them and miss them something awful, but we keep in touch over facebook. When I come home, it is like I never left.
No and I was never close with any of them on either side and on my dad's side most of them are dead.
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