If society is supposedly so tolerant of homosexuality, why are so many men paranoid of being seen as 'gay'? (female, male)
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Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
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From the music they listen to, to what they wear, to how they talk, or even their body language, it seems that despite how supposedly pro-equality and comfortable with homosexuality we are, a lot of men are outright terrified of being viewed as gay by society, or being mistaken as gay. Many teens still use 'gay' as a negative epithet (even if it's lost it's meaning). Many women, too, are turned off by men who act a little gay or feminine, and think bisexual men are like lepers (while female bisexuality is celebrated).
Is this because we're still not really comfortable with homosexuality, particularly male homosexuality? Why is there still such an obsession with trying to be macho? Is it an uncomfortable transition or will we always be like this?
In my opinion the hardest person to tell you are gay is yourself. Once a person does that then everything else usually falls into place.
That has not been the case with some people I have known, who have been surprised (painfully) to learn who does not support them once they come out. The more you care about that person, the more it hurts to have them reject you, even if you feel great about yourself.
IMHO, some straight men resist so strongly because it is the opposite of the traditional male stereotype, and sometimes because the actual mechanics of it are repellent to them.
Is this because we're still not really comfortable with homosexuality, particularly male homosexuality?
Because I don't know what "society" you are referring to but homosexuality is still not widely accepted everywhere. Or have you not read the news lately? Sure, there are a lot of people for it but still a lot of people against.
There are still large groups in certain areas where this is not accepted at all.
Hell, just visit the Politics & Other Controversies forum and you'd see why its still tough being gay.
That has not been the case with some people I have known, who have been surprised (painfully) to learn who does not support them once they come out. The more you care about that person, the more it hurts to have them reject you, even if you feel great about yourself.
IMHO, some straight men resist so strongly because it is the opposite of the traditional male stereotype, and sometimes because the actual mechanics of it are repellent to them.
It's funny but I have had a straight guy lie to me for years and tell me he was gay. Now that is actually sociopathic behavior but it is ironic that when many gay people feel the need to hide I have had the exact opposite in my life.
As to your point. I have been very lucky and have never lost a friend due to my sexual orientation. In fact I have had straight guys tell me that I was the first gay guy they liked, as a friend, and did so in front of people at a going away party. However I understand not everyone is as lucky. Maybe it's because I'm in the 1% or because I'm very social idk. What I do hear is how religious a family is usually is the best indication of how hard it will be for the person to come out.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,060,466 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ja1myn
Because most straight men don't want other people thinking they enjoy riding pole.
Yet many women encourage others to think they're at least slightly crooked. It's definitely revealing of how female/male homosexuality is treated in society.
We live in a macho society. Just look at advertising trends (think, beer commercials). As much as we have progressed, we still don't live in a society that is completely comfortable with homosexuality (especially male homosexuality). I believe that many people associate being gay with somehow being lesser.
As a gay man, it has been my experience that the majority of straight guys are pretty open minded and accepting (granted, I live in a liberal area but when I lived in more conservative areas, this wasn't as much the case). I have found that most straight men that are comfortable with themselves and their sexuality don't feel as much of a need to act macho or to "prove" that they're not gay. The ones that try to act all macho are typically way over-compensating and you have to wonder what they're hiding.
On a side note, in my experience, very attractive men are hardly ever homophobic, while less attractive men are more likely to be homophobic (I know I'm generalizing here). Perhaps, homophobia and insecurity go hand in hand?
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