Is society too long term goal oriented in terms of socialization? (boyfriend, person)

[Clintone]

Is society too long term goal oriented in terms of socialization? It seems like everyone disregards little, simple, short term goals of socialization and focuses only on the big stuff...sex...marriage...dating with the intent to foster future relationships...networking.

I'm 27. I had a crush on an 18 year old girl. Actually she was 17 for part of the time I knew her. I don't think age is overly relevant in this case. Hopefully you'll see why. I just mentioned it to emphasize how little I was thinking about long term goals. She had a boyfriend. You'll see why this is irrelevant too...hopefully, if you agree with my mindset. She told me I was funny and cute once. She's physically attractive enough that, even at the age of 17, everyone with an attraction to women who says they are not attracted to her is probably lying.

I worked with her and had an enormously entertaining time at work with her. We'd try to terrify eachother...not just casual "Boos" but leaping out from behind objects and screaming.

I tended to put on a fake personality for amusement's sake, where I talked and acted stoned and/or mildly retarded. She went on a trip to Colorado, and I asked her if she brought me back a mountain lion. I went on to discuss how I would name the mountain lion Trevor (because Trevor is a good mountain lion name) and I would feed it spaghetti and sticky buns and blathered on about other random bits of lunacy which made her smile.

The above is one example of one of our typical conversations.

I memorized the entire song "Convoy" by C.W. McCall
Convoy Lyrics - C.w. Mccall
for her amusement, and sang it to her at work, complete with trucker commentary.

Afterwards she seemed very flattered. She soon later asked if I would memorize a song by Justin Bieber or Michael Jackson. At this point she was obviously merely trying to screw with my head and discover what she could get me to do and how much of a fool she could make me look like for amusement.

I ended up memorizing Justin Bieber's song "boyfriend" for her...which she bragged about getting me to do afterwards to numerous people. It did make her smile though, which was the goal, and I'd made it clear to her beforehand that there were two reasons she potentially might want me to sing the song: Perhaps she wanted to screw with my head, or perhaps I made her nervous. I told her that it was fine if she wanted to screw with my head...but I was worried that she asked me to sing it due to nervousness. She seemed flattered by my worrying.

I also wrote her a poem comparing her to a chinchilla a week before she left to go to college, which she was highly amused by.

The last day I saw her before she left to go to college, I told her she was a beautiful, wonderful person. I will probably never see her again.

To me, this sounds like a happy ending. I never had any intention of dating her, although I would have liked to, but then there was the boyfriend and the parents who would not have been pleased about the 27 year old dating their 18 year old, or even 17 year old, daughter.

Why do there seem to be so few positive ending stories in which two people never see eachother again? I would prefer to see her again, but it isn't that big of a deal either way.

Why do some people seem to feel that the act of merely talking to someone is not a reward or goal in itself?

[Retroit]

Because short-term socializing often turns into long-term dating/marriage relationships. In this case, it's probably better that it didn't.

[Clintone]

Originally Posted by Retroit

Because short-term socializing often turns into long-term dating/marriage relationships. In this case, it's probably better that it didn't.

I disagree that it does, most of the time...and I believe it to be quite easy to keep it from becomming long term if that is desired. I'm not saying this is you, but I think a lot of people worry about silly things that don't matter. They live in little holes built of memorized social customs, which often have no purpose or are parasitic towards society, or obsolete, and they complain.

I'd be miserable if I listened to much of the advice people gave me about ways in which NOT to act.
Many of these suggestions were probably made by miserable people who desired for others to be miserable, so that the miserable people would have more company.

We should do things because we want to do them, or because they assist others. We should always do things we want to do, which don't cause harm, except when we might have a better use for our time and energy.

[Clintone]

There are many people like ants after a rain storm, who follow the people who follow them, and wander around in circles. We need to determine how not to be such persons.

[Clintone]

Originally Posted by Clintone

I disagree that it does, most of the time...and I believe it to be quite easy to keep it from becomming long term if that is desired. I'm not saying this is you, but I think a lot of people worry about silly things that don't matter. They live in little holes built of memorized social customs, which often have no purpose or are parasitic towards society, or obsolete, and they complain.

I'd be miserable if I listened to much of the advice people gave me about ways in which NOT to act.
Many of these suggestions were probably made by miserable people who desired for others to be miserable, so that the miserable people would have more company.

We should do things because we want to do them, or because they assist others. We should always do things we want to do, which don't cause harm, except when we might have a better use for our time and energy.

Correction, I don't think it would be morally wrong not to do things we want to do if they don't cause harm, but there's nothing wrong with doing them if they don't cause harm.

[Timewaster99]

It seems like you really miss her.

On the other hand, I know exactly what you are talking about and I believe people do tend to have those type of short term relationships. I know I did and I cherish the memories and all and never wanted anything long term out of it..

That also depends on the type of people you meet... The reason i didnt persure is coz i already thought our relationship would never work out and also with you.... With this girl, you had already thought it wasnt going to work out with the age gap and all and so didnt pursure a long term relationship. Perhaps, if you were younger and/or she was older, you might have considered it as a potential long term relationship.

[Trimac20]

It's great that you could both connect with each other without the 'baggage', those people you meet for what seems like a brief, fleeting moment can have a positive impact that lasts a lifetime. Sometimes it's quality, not quantity that matters .