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Do you run into old close friends or lovers or ex wives/husbands, that you left things poorly with, when you are out in public and are just a wreak afterwards?
I tend to wait to avoid if all possible people who are out of my life whose relationship ended poorly and when I do run into them it is incredibly difficult.
The other day I ran into an old boss and his wife. I worked very closely with him for three years talking 10 times a day. But then suddenly nothing I could do was right and after months of progressive discipline and fights and appeals to his boss, I was fired. Just when I thought I was over this, I run into his wife and him, talk about a difficult interaction. I felt like I was two feet tall. I feel the same after running into old boyfriends and close friends I had fights with.
Maybe it's immature but I just act like I don't see them if I run into someone like that.
You met their eyes or almost run into them. It seems odd to be so close to someone that you share such an intense relationship one day and then poof, you act like they don't exist.
I ran into my old boss physically at a shopping mall, (by accident) there was no way to act like he did not exist.
Last edited by HumanNature; 06-06-2013 at 12:20 PM..
You met their eyes or almost run into them. It seems odd to be so close to someone that you share such an intense relationship one day and then poof, you act like they don't exist.
You said in your OP that you felt about two feet tall after talking to your former boss and his wife.
Did you run into them at a store? Wouldn't it have been easier to pretend you didn't see them and go in the other direction?
Several years ago I saw a former coworker(who was disliked by most of the dept) at an outdoor shopping mall about a year after I left that job, I kept walking and pretended I didn't see them.
He was probably the most unpleasant coworker I have ever had to deal with, I had no desire or need to speak to him.
The boss situation would be very awkward, but I think with my two former boyfriends I would be civil. Though "it didnt work out", still good memories of those relationships.
If I saw the boss who fired me, well, heck, we'd both probably avoid trying to make even eye contact, and it would be a very prefunctory "hello", if it came to that.
I have lived in the same town my whole life so I have had my fair share of awkward encounters. It does not ever get easier.
I scope out parking lots for any cars my ex owns, so I won't run into him.
I avoid one of my former landlords, bc. it was a really bad apt. & he was just so blase about the condition of the place, I moved out as soon as I could.
I haven't lived in same city/state my whole life, but I've been here over 17 years, which is enough time to encounter plenty of people I'd never want to meet again.
Even if it wouldn't be awkward for them, maybe they don't even remember me-but I remember them, and not in a good way.
Quote:
Originally Posted by HumanNature
It seems odd to be so close to someone that you share such an intense relationship one day and then poof, you act like they don't exist.
Well said.
It's incredibly strange yet what's the alternative, when it's somebody you'd rather forget
(bc. of painful way things ended, be it romantic or be it professional) ?
For example, I have a few former friends that it would be terribly awkward to ever see again-
when I do, I hide & wait for them to pass by before I venture out.
I don't want to feel I have to explain or apologize for the fact that we're no longer friends-
and I admit, when people do that to me, it feels crummy, but I never claimed not to be a hypocrite.
Now you know why we grow old and grumpy, a life filled with relationships that turned to rot. Why bother to be friendly or pleasant when everyone we meet will somehow disappoint. And then it just a circle from there, us being part of the equation, grumpy, infecting miserably.
Two girls now whom have worn out their welcome after giving it a go,. One smells like sour puke and keeps a pile of crumbs around her chair. Another turns out to be a hoarder with ideas I can't agree with. There is never any eye contact anymore, but I have the advantage when the friendship is their loss.
No need to feel awkward or as though you are beneath them. Hold your chin up, look them in the eye, and smile. Say hello and press on. You can run into old friends, lovers, and bosses and still keep your dignity intact. Show them you aren't phased and that you have moved on, no grudges, no regrets. Try it next time, I think you'll feel a sense of relief when you can face these people without having to pretend you don't see them or ignoring them.
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